Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Happy Birthday Monkey!!

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My first plan was to have a post, with 10 pictures, one from each year of Maya's life. But the pictures grew unruly, and though I loaded them all into blogger, because of different sizes, etc, it didn't look that great. Plus, it kind of took away from the post, rather than adding to it, because I was focusing on the captions, rather than the thoughts that I want to express. Then Ted came in with his Mac, and made a slide show in about 2 minutes, using all of the pictures I had scanned. So I will direct you to view my beautiful baby, as she goes from about 2 weeks old, to a beautiful 10-year old girl. If you click the silly picture of her at the top, you'll get sound. If you click start slideshow, you'll get a slideshow. If your computer doesn't have the right programs or whatever, you can just look at the pictures.

I wanted a baby for about 5 years before I had Maya. WANTED a baby. NEEDED a baby. I would sometimes cry because I wanted one so much. That was my heart. My head said to wait...wait until we finished our Masters' degrees, wait until we were married, wait until Ted had finished his coursework for his PhD. So we waited. But then, finally, we decided the time was right for a baby, and we thought we would plan it so that she would be born in the summer, after Ted finished his courses and exams. Well, life jumps in sometimes, and I got pregnant much faster than we expected. Should have expected that, somehow, since Ted and I were both accidents. I was SO happy, I was finally going to have my baby. But boy, being pregnant sucked. I was SO NOT one of those women who glow and love every minute of it.

From the first moment I met my baby, I was in love. I know this isn't true for all new moms, that some have to learn to 'fall in love' with their babies, and that that is normal, too. But I felt as though someone had knocked the wind out of me, I loved her SO much. I haven't recovered yet. I wonder if you ever do?
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Those early years were full of the wonder of learning new things...showing her the world, the stars, fish...I remember so many little things, like the first time she smiled at me like I was the center of her universe, the first time she tried solid food, first steps, first day of school....then there are the bigger girl type things, like her face the first time we went to see A Christmas Carol in San Francisco, and she saw the stage all lit up and close...the first time she went over the edge on a roller coaster...the first time someone asked her what she wanted for Christmas or a birthday, and there wasn't anything she really wanted anymore. That was shocking for her, I think.

And now, 10 years old. If she moves out when she's 18 or 19, then my time living with her is already more than half over. Is it wrong for me to hope she'll live close, always, so we can have dinner together and visit and stay close? It breaks my heart to think of her leaving me, going on into the world and not being here for dinner, walks to see the duckies, swimming in the summer. I need to slow time down a bit, and cherish these next years, and hope that we will always be close, and yet, she will be the strong, independent person I know she needs to be to make it in the world.

But for today, she's 10. A wonderful, giving, funny, gentle, caring 10 year old. A girl who is so smart and beautiful and funny, with a wicked sense of humor already, who knows what the monks are chanting in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. A girl who loves animals and is kind to others. A girl to make us proud. I'm not sure how time passes so quickly, but I am sure that I like who she's growing up to be. She's going to be a good person, she already is one. What more could a parent want? She's my dream come true.

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15 comments:

Gina said...

She is absolutely gorgeous!

Happy Birthday Maya!

And even though I have only had my son for a short time, I don't think you ever fall out of love with your child. Ever.

LynnDenise said...

J, what a sweet post.

Happy Birtday, Maya!

Cherry said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAYA!

I heard Ted on the radio this morning wishing her a Happy Birthday and Carolyn was saying what a great father Ted was to put together that slide show. I also heard you made cupcakes and sent them to the station.

You guys are so cool!

I cannot believe that Maya is 10 years old. I swear it was just yesterday when you were running through the call center, carrying her under your arm with her screaming at the top of her lungs.
Or the stories of her telling people at the supermarket that she was from Jupiter (or Saturn), and asked them what planet they were from.
Precious moments.

Wendy said...

Absolutely beautiful child and what a lovely tribute to your daughter...Happy Birthday Maya!!!!

Tracy said...

She is gorgeous! You are all three a beautiful family. I love hearing mothers talk about the joys of the mother/daughter relationship. Maya is blessed to have a mother who delights in her the way that you do. My mom always seemed to enjoy my sister and I at every stage and age. Even though we live in separate states, we are still very close, and thanks to unlimited cell phone minutes, we still talk nearly every day and visit often!!!

Autumn's Mom said...

That was beautiful J.

Happy Birthday Maya!!!

Although I already mourn my time left with my girl...I also look forward to seeing the beautiful women our girls are going to become :)

Lotus Reads said...

I haven't treated myself to the slideshow yet, but as the mother of two girls myself, I will confess that my eyes were misting over while I read your beautiful post!

Happy Birthday, Maya!

Ms. Mamma said...

J- That was so sweet. I was tearing up here in Dairyland, a million miles away thinking about your beautiful girl and how I am early on that same journey with True. She's so fortunate to have such cool parents who teach her not only in life, but Monty Python as well! Happy Birthday, Miss Maya!

Piece of Work said...

AW, Happy Birthday Maya. Loved the pictures, J. thanks for sharing them and this sweet post.

Pony Storm's Ride said...

Maya: Your mother wrote "Happy Birthday Monkey" without once mentioning under which sign of the Zodiac you were born.

Happy birthday to you!
Hats off to your mother and her ability to separate what is important from what is trivial!
Your Dad is a lucky guy!

Nancy said...

She is truly beautiful. Happy Birthday to Maya!

Ally Bean said...

love the dramatic entrance from behind the curtains photo. she's a cutey patootie.

you're lucky to have her-- and even more importantly-- to like and love her.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant post.....a gem of a mother..a gem of a child.

On another note,has clan Asregadoo stopped dining out ?


While a post on your favorite place for meat loaf may not be on the same plane as an ode to your child, are those restaurant reviews history ?

Maya's Granny said...

The three most joyous days of my life: when your brother was born (mentioned first because it happened first and things must be in some order, so chronological will do), when you were born, and when Maya was born. I looked at each of you and my heart was lost and my joy was found. Speaking from experience, my oldest descendant is 42 and I still haven't fallen out of love with a one of you.
One of my favorite pictures of you and Maya is the one I took when she was 15 months old and we were in Safeway and she threw her arms around your neck and planted such a smackeroo on your cheek! I have had it on my office wall, the parent/child wall. Also on that wall, and one of my favorites of Ted and Maya is from that same visit and she is in her high chair and he is beside her and they are laughing and the laugh is identical and the postural mirroring just sings out that they are totally in tune with each other. (Other pictures on that wall: the mother giraffe kissing her baby on the head, a polar bear cub climbing on its mothers back, a Yup'ik mother with child peeking out of the hood of her parka, a Navaho mother with child in cradle board, wolf parent with cubs.)
I had to wait a while to have this grandchild, but the wait was so worth it. She is such a treasure. Truly, Ka-Maya, Ka-Moona, Ka-Mine.

Granny said...

A very belated Happy Birthday. She's lovely.