Thinking About...

Moving Day

2006-09-27T06:25:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm moving over to my very own domain today. I've enjoyed blogger, but decided to get categories, and hopefully avoid the problems that blogger so often has. The place will be a bit of a mess for awhile...meaning some pictures from old posts may not work right away, and I need to go through and categorize all of my old posts, etc. But it's an adventure, just like any move.

We tried for "thinkingabout.com", but it wasn't available. So the new domain is a combination of two nicknames I've had in the past. For a brief while in high school, my friends called me "Jelly", and I have often gone by the nickname, "Jules", so come see me at the new place, "www.jellyjules.com". See you there!

Killer Popcorn

2006-09-26T06:49:00.000-07:00

Have any of you heard of the dangers of microwave popcorn? I first read of it at Pureland Mountain, though I can't link to the post anymore. On Saturday, I heard a story on NPR about the dangers of working at popcorn plants. The danger comes from the butter flavoring that is added to some microwave popcorn, and the danger is to the employees who work there. Some people have died, and many others are suffering from serious health effects to their lungs. Some popcorn manufacturers have voluntarily imposed safer methods of making their popcorn, while others are ignoring the danger, and I suspect won't make any changes until federal regulations come down. Unfortunatly, our government is failing us here, because no such regulations are on the way. All of you folks who say that industries should be left to 'do the right thing' and keep government out of it? Go work in a popcorn plant, OK?

Does this mean that we need to give up popcorn? Or that we need to break out our old hot air poppers, or use the stove? Maybe this is good for Jiffypop? I don't know. But it seems to me, if the danger comes from the butter flavoring on your microwave (by the way, they have yet to test whether making butter flavored popcorn in your own home is safe or not), then a very easy (and tasty) solution is to buy plain, unflavored popcorn, pop that up in your microwave, and add your own butter.

Think you can't make a difference? Think one little person doesn't matter to the health of these workers? Remember the tuna/dolphin issue? Nowadays, it's quite difficult to find canned tuna that isn't 'dolphin safe', and all because consumers refused to buy tuna that was caught using nets, nets which also resulted in the drowning deaths of dolphins. Changing the fishing industry around was expensive, far more expensive, I would think, than no longer adding a flavoring to popcorn kernels. And yet they did it, because the power at the checkstand was strong. I happen to think that all life is important, that dolphins are worth saving. But I also think that human lives are even more important and valuable, and if all it takes for me to not be complicit in damaging people's lungs is to melt some yummy butter on my stovetop once in awhile? I'm more than happy to comply.

Romantic? Or Realist?

2006-09-25T06:26:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile, I'll be talking to someone, and they'll mention that someone is (or isn't) their 'soulmate'. The idea, the way I understand it, is that there is one person out there, who is perfect for you, and assuming you want to be in a relationship, you have to find them. I find this difficult to believe. Also, somewhat depressing. What if they're perfect for you, but they get hit by a car, and you never get to meet them? What if they're already married? What if they're perfect for you, but they're in Sudan, and you're in Stockton, and you never have a chance to meet? What if they're 90, and you're 2, and there's no way it's gonna work out? Then what? And why, if there IS someone perfect for each of us, don't we take more care when getting involved? Why is divorce so rampant? Is it that we just haven't found the right person yet? I watched "My Husband's Three Wives" last night on TLC, and the third 'wife' (who was divorced from her first husband) was just devastated, because she felt that she had met her soulmate, the one man for her, and dang it all, he had two wives already, and they weren't too excited about having another join the household.

Personally, I think there there are a lot of people out there for each of us. At least several. There are people out there with whom we can be happy, with whom we are the person we want to be, with whom we 'click'. So, what if I had gone to USC instead of SFSU? I wouldn't have met Ted. (Although, he thought of going to USC too, so maybe in an alternate universe, we're together though we met there...hmmmm) If I hadn't met Ted, would I be in a miserable relationship? Or alone? (Picture the spinster Mary, from "It's a Wonderful Life", doomed to spend her days in that place of unimaginable horror...THE LIBRARY!)

Somehow, I doubt it. I think I would have dated awhile, and found someone that was a pretty great guy, and we would have gotten married, and we would be happy. Also, Ted would have dated a bit, and found another woman, gotten married, and would also be happy. I mean, there are a lot of great men out there. A lot of great women out there. We would have met them, and we would be fine and happy. I don't think it's very hard to find people to date when you're in your 20s.

Of course, there are plenty of people out there that we could have married who would have made our lives a living hell. They could have locked us up in the basement of disappointment and dread and threw away the key. We could be working on our 6th divorces by now. But I don't think that would have happened. I think (I hope) we would have found someone wonderful.

The danger, I think, with believing that there is only one person out there for you, one perfect person who 'completes' you, makes you happy and strong and wonderfully blissful, is that into every relationship comes troubles. And if you think that another person can make you happy, and you're not happy with the person that you're with, you're much more likely to think...maybe this is the wrong person. Maybe this isn't my 'soulmate'. Maybe what I should have done was kept looking. Maybe he/she isn't THE ONE. So instead of working through a rough patch, committing to your marriage/relationship, and making it as strong and vibrant as it can be, instead of looking at your partner, you're looking over their shoulder, wondering...when, when will I meet my Mr./Ms. Right?

So, for those of you out there who are still looking, don't despair. I don't think there is just one person out there, and you have to find them or be miserable or alone (not the same thing, many people are not in relationships and are perfectly happy that way...the idea that you have to be married to be happy is pretty stupid, and I think pushed on us by Hollywood and religion and our culture in general...but that's another post entirely.) I think there are many people out there with whom you can make it work. :) The trick, I think, is being open to that and finding them.

Sunday Cooking

2006-09-24T08:53:00.000-07:00

OK, so I know most people don't bother reading blogs on the weekend, since you have lives and chores and families and so on, so I save the easy ones for these days. Posts that I figure maybe 3 people will read, and I'll get maybe one comment. I've learned my lesson, people, I've poured my heart and soul into a weekend post, and seen on my site meter that it is basically ignored.

The perfect lazy post is a recipe that I can just copy and paste from a website. I mean, at that point, why do I even bother? Because I can't help myself, I guess.

Maya has decided that she wants to give this whole vegetarian thing a try. We're trying to support her, while we are not exactly willing to give up the meat ourselves, because we love it too much, and we are souless, evil, animal eating fiends. Ahem. Some nights, I'll make a meat based meal for us, like lamb chops, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. Maya can have the mashed potatoes and broccoli, and some fake chick'n strips, ala Morningstar Farms. Other days, we'll all eat vegetarian, such as one of our many pasta dishes, or perhaps some yummy black bean chili from my Greens Cookbook (mine got wet and moldy, actually, so I have to buy another copy...but I will, and then we can have black bean chili again, and black bean enchiladas with homemade tomatillo sauce...mmmm...looking forward to colder weather already!). The other night, I decided to try one of the recipes on the back of the Morningstar Farms chick'n patty box. Know what? Mighty tasty. Not restaurant, WOW fabulous tasty, but hey, this-is-pretty-good-and-SO-easy-one-skillet-meal-is-groovy-good-tasty. So I'm going to share it with you, and you can all try it, not just the vegetarians out there, OK? OK.

Prep Time
5 minutes

Ingredients
1/2 cup uncooked orzo pasta
1 can (15 oz.) black beans, rinsed and drained
1 cup frozen whole kernel corn
1 cup thick and chunky salsa
2 1/2 cups water
1/4 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
1 package Morningstar Farms® Chik Patties® Breaded Veggie Patties (thawed and cubed)
2 tablespoons chopped cilantro

Directions
1. Combine all ingredients except MORNINGSTAR FARMS CHIK PATTIES and cilantro in 12-inch frypan. Cook over medium heat, stirring frequently, until mixture
starts to boil. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer 20 minutes or until pasta is
tender.

2. Stir in MORNINGSTAR FARMS CHIK PATTIES and cilantro. (J's Note: I heated mine up in the toaster oven while the pasta was cooking, because I wanted that bit of crispy texture.) Continue heating 5 minutes longer or until patties are hot. Serve hot.

You're welcome. Happy weekend!

Elephant Appreciation

2006-09-23T09:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Elephant Appreciation Day*. I thought it was September 23rd, but I was wrong, and thus, I missed it. But really, is it ever too late to appreciate elephants? And, since elephants in the wild are pretty much in Africa and India and Southeastern Asian countries, shouldn't I have celebrated on Thursday night? Do elephants care about such things?

I'll admit that I never had much of an opinion about elephants growing up. I mean, they're big, and they're kind of prehistoric looking, but what else? Dumbo? Dumbo's cute. That's about as far as I went. Then, when I was an International Relations major in college, we watched a film about I-Don't-Know-What, except at least part of it was talking about the illegal poaching of elephants. The filmmakers captured an elephant being poached on film. (I tried that sentence with 'being shot on film', but since you shoot film, it seemed awkward. I hope none of you think the poor thing was being boiled.) I was struck, to tears actually, by the compassion of the other members of the elephant herd. Any other herd animal, most animals, I would think, if one of their members goes down like that, it means DANGER, and the rest would scatter. Imagine a sniper in a major city. Think people would get the hell out of there asap? You bet. Not the elephants. They all rushed to the aid of the poor elephant who had been shot. They tried to help it up. They didn't want to leave it behind. I don't know if this behavior is because elephants don't have many predators, so they don't have that instinct, or if it is because they are more compassionate than other herd animals. But it went straight to my heart, and elephants went to the top of list of "J's favorite wild animals". (Right up there with giraffes...love those eyelashes...and wolves, just because, well, they're so wolf-y.)

Here's Maya, appreciating an elephant at the SF Zoo, when she was 2. :)

So, in honor of all of the elephants, both in captivity and in the wild, my hat is off to you, and I salute you. Happy Elephant Appreciation Day, everyone!

*Thanks to Mom-101 for the alert.

Calling all Gramarians

2006-09-22T20:03:00.000-07:00

Awhile ago, I posted a list of thirteen grammar mistakes that bug me. If you like that kind of thing, you might enjoy listening to this. It's "To The Best Of Our Knowledge", from NPR, and it talks about IM and text messaging, but also about changes to grammar in general. My favorite part so far is an interview with the author of "Woe is I". I'm about 2/3 through (Have it on my iPod, and I listen while I walk the dog...), and I'm enjoying it. Hope you do as well.

Book Meme

2006-09-22T06:23:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by Lotus Reads for an interesting meme about books. The hard thing is that I tend to read a lot. Not nearly as much as I would like to, or as much as I used to, but a lot. At the same time, I have a pretty crappy memory, so I might answer these questions one way today, and if you asked me again in a year, or a week, you might get all different answers. :)

1. One book that changed your life?

"The Blood of Others", by Simone de Beauvoir. I read this my senior year in college, and I remember the feeling that I got from it...the idea that we are deeply responsible for our actions, because they can have truly profound effects upon others...great stuff. I remember while reading this book, I walked over to the movie theater near my house one rainy afternoon, and saw the movie "Glory". Somehow black battalion in the Civil War, trying to take control of their own destiny, seemed even more poingnant to me because of the book I was reading. (There was a film version of The Blood of Others, back in the mid-80s, but it pretty much stunk. Jodie Foster, but not her best work.)

2. One book you have read more than once?

I've read a lot of books more than once. I'm a re-reader. I've read "Gone With the Wind" and the Laura Ingalls Wilder books more times than I can count. (GWTW...Scarlett's conflict, between what she has to do, and what she things she SHOULD do...it resonates with many, I think.) But for a grown up, serious book that I LOVE, I would answer "The Dead", by James Joyce. (I know, it's not a book, it's a short story. So sue me.) It's one of the most touching stories that I've ever read. I felt humbled by the experience. (They did a beautiful job with a movie version a while ago, too. If you're a John Huston fan, I believe this was his last film.)

Honorable Mention here would go to The Unbearable Lightness of Being. I love that book. The movie was good, but really, only after reading the book. I didn't understand the motivations well enough from the movie without that background. Milan Kundera is amazing.
3. One book you would want on a desert island?

Probably Ulysses, by James Joyce. Why Ulysses? 2 reasons. 1. Because the time I tried to read it, I had to laugh at the phrase, "The sea, the sea, the snot green sea"; and, 2. Because stuck on a desert island is probably the only way I would ever get through it. It's a literary laberynth.

4. One book that made you cry?

I'm not sure any book has actually made me physically cry. I cry at movies all of the time, and songs, and commercials. But books, I can't think of any right now. However, some books have made me depressed and sick to my stomach, does that count? The Kite Runner and The Lovely Bones are two more recent examples that have really hit hard.

5. One book that made you laugh?

The Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey. You can enjoy it online, here. Sick humor at its best. The first time I found this book was in a bookstore in Philadelphia, and Ted and I were cracking up. That's the bookstore where I first found Swami on Rye and Max Makes a Million, two books that I had to immediately buy for my as yet unborn child. I may not have even been pregnant yet, but I knew she had to have these books.

6. One book you wish had been written?

"How we ended poverty, hunger, war, and disease in the 20th century."

7. One book you wish had never been written?

Sadly, most textbooks. Boy, they can suck the life out of even the most interesting subjects.

8. One book you are currently reading?

I'm reading Eat Cake, which was recommended to me by Cherry and La Luna, both bakers and eaters of yummy cakes. I'm not as big a cake fan as they are, and I'm not very far in, but so far, so good. I'm enjoying it.

9. One book you have been meaning to read?

I've been meaning to read Little Dorrit, by Charles Dickens. My New Years Resolution last year was to read some of the classics of literature that I missed while I was in school. Along the way, I realized that I haven't read any Dickens. That made me feel somewhat uneducated, so I looked around and picked one. It's an interesting, though bleak, topic. Debters prisons in England in the 18th century. But 18th century novels are written in a different tempo, a different rythem than books today. You kind of have to get in a certain groove to really get into it, I think. At least, that's true for me. Maybe I'll reread "Pride and Predjudice" for practice.

10. Three people you will tag.
Emily - She's a new blog friend, and I think pretty literary, so I'll be interested to see her answers. If she doesn't want to do it, I'll understand. I mean, I tagged her very recently for another meme, and maybe she's tired of the damn things. Also, looking at her island meme from awhile ago, she kind of answered some of these already. Hell, I'm tagging her anyway.

Wendy - I'm always trying to figure out what makes her tick, so this could be interesting. She also did the island meme, I think, which had 5 books on it...but that's a different question, and she is on a different blog. So there.

Heidi - She of the amazing photography. I'd like to know what kind of books get her motor running.

Anyone else want to play? Write it up on your blog and let me know. I'd love to see your answers.

13 6 Misc. Thursday Thoughts

2006-09-21T10:03:00.000-07:00

1. Mr. Armani, jumping into the fray about overly thin fashion models (in Madrid recently, they forbade models with a BMI lower than 18. Medically, a BMI of under 20 is considered underweight.) "conceded that he had always used models "on the slender side", adding: "This was because the clothes I design and the sort of fabrics I use need to hang correctly on the body"." (Quote from Yahoo news.) OK, but then shouldn't the largest size you sell be a 0? Because if I'm understanding you correctly, a healthy woman cannot wear your clothing and have it 'hang correctly'. So, my advice? Either sell only to size 0 women, or start using different designs & fabrics. Asshole. (Asshole who admittedly does design some beautiful clothes. I just don't agree with his F**KED up logic.)

2. Anyone thinking of watching My Husband's Three Wives on TLC? No? Me neither. Well, maybe.

They're obviously trying to get in on the Big Love bandwagon, but we don't get HBO, so I can't watch Big Love, and I'll admit to being a touch intrigued by this one. I think it's more of a cheapo reality show, rather than a scripted drama. I know, it's sick and wrong of me, but I'm thinking about it.

3. Very cool...Maya has started guitar lessons. Her first instrument. :)
So far, so good.

4. Another nice thing about working from home...Maya's feeling a bit puny this morning, and I don't have to call in sick myself to be home with her.

5. Why is that darned laundry pile always so huge? The pile to be ironed seems to get bigger every day. One solution, of course, would be to stop washing the clothes, but that just transfers the problem to the dirty clothes hamper. Another solution would be to iron the clothes. Which I fully intend to do. Just as soon as I finish all of the other things I would prefer to do.

6. I wish I could find the perfect yoga class. I really like the teacher I have right now, but I kind of suspect she isn't correcting my posture as much as I would like. My stepmom teaches Iyengar style Yoga, and she's pretty darned great. She has a nice studio, and teaches each level separately. But she's in Portland, and I'm in the Bay Area. What I'm looking for is convenient timing (earlyish on a weeknight, cause I like to be home by 7 or so), level one only (I don't want to be slowing other people down when the teacher comes to show me things), and maybe Iyengar, with all of the props, etc. I don't know that I'm going to find all of that on this side of the tunnel. There is a place that has Iyengar downtown, but they group their levels together. My MIL teaches, but the times are later than I would like and she doesn't yet have the props. Maybe I'll just stick with the class I'm currently taking.

That's it. I was going to make this a Thursday 13, but I can't muster the other 7 misc. thoughts. I'm sure you're devastated. ;)

Grandpa

2006-09-21T06:15:00.000-07:00

Saturday, we were driving around in the car, listening to the radio, and my perhaps favorite new song came on: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies", by Panic! at the Disco. Why do I like this song so much? Because, in addition to a catchy pop tune, it reminds me of my Grandpa. Here are the lyrics:

I'd chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of
closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these
kinds of things with a sense of
poise and rationality.

I had to laugh, because that "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" sounded JUST like something he would say. He could be in the video.

Which is one way of saying that my Grandpa wasn't the nicest guy around. He could be downright abusive. He could also be kind and generous and loving. I suspect he was my first introduction to the concept that people can be complicated. That most folks aren't black and white, good and bad, right or wrong. Loving him as dearly as I did was an exercise in acceptance, I'll tell you, because he could be a mean SOB.

Anyway, he was my Grandpa, the man I called 'daddy' when I was small. He was 19 years older than my Grandma, so I never remember him as anything but old. He had that skinny old man body, too, kind of like George Burns. He had surgery at a young age that removed part of his stomach (I'm guessing due to some infection or another, but I'm not sure), and he could never eat very much, so he was always painfully thin.

I don't think I ever remember him saying those exact words, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" but it does sound just exactly like something he would say.

Here are a few of his colloquialisms:

"I wouldn't cross the street to piss on her if her guts were on fire!"

"He's so stupid he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel!"

"For the amount of money I spent on that cat, I could have had a dog!"

"It's always your friends who stab you in the back because you don't let your enemies get close enough."

"If a man is born to hang, you don't have to help it along, just get out from between him and the rope."

"2,400 square feet in this house, and you have to sit RIGHT in front of the damn TV!"

"If I had your nose full of nickels I'd be able to retire."

"She's six ax-handles across the ass."

"He sits when he pees."

"If you ever (did what I'm asking you to do, like get home on time, take out the garbage, etc.), I'd have a heart attack and die."

"You always take, you never give"

"Who was your slave this time last year?"

"Let's talk about little dogs with distemper." (His way of telling you it was time to change the subject.)

Thanks to my mom for remembering most of these. When I started reading, I was cracking up, because some of them are pretty funny. Then I started remembering how it made people FEEL when he said some of that stuff, and I kind of stopped laughing.

But then, I also remember the good things.

That he didn't make chocolate cake (oh, did he have a sweet tooth) when I was a little girl, because I had just had fillings and couldn't eat anything but mush that night.

That when I lost my Smokey the Bear, and I was walking around with my hand in a fist, he asked me what was in my hand. I said, my Smokey. That broke his heart, so he went and got another Smokey, and he told me that when he went to the hospital to get his emphysema treatment, Smokey was being wheeled out in a wheelchair, and was ready to come home to me. This was a scene that was unfortunately repeated several times.

That he took me with him to Mr. D's for burgers and potato chips for lunch. (So fancy! Served in a basket! With chips, not fries!)

That he would hold my hand when we watched TV, because he loved me.

That he came and got me at school when I was sick, and I went to his house and drank 7-Up until my mom got off of work.

That he took me to the pound to get Samantha when she got out of the yard, and he paid the fine for her not having a license.

Is it OK that I still love him? The mean, mean old man? Because I feel very conflicted, knowing the hell he put my mom, my aunt, and my uncle through, how miserable he made their home life as children. So miserable that my mom moved away to live with her Great Aunt. But even so, I love him very much.

My Horse Picture

2006-09-20T06:40:00.000-07:00

When I was maybe 7 or 8 years old, my mom worked as both a Montessori school teacher, and because we all know how well teaching pays (esp a private school), she also worked at a local restaurant. The restaurant, as I remember it, was next door to a small art gallery, where they sold paintings by local artists. I'm not sure how we ended up going inside the gallery, but we did, and I fell in love with one of the paintings. It was of two horses, running in a field, and it was painted on a piece of wood. My love of horses knew no bounds, and this was the perfect painting. I was in love. The problem? The painting was expensive. It was $16.55. This was the early 70s, and $16.55 was a lot of money. My allowance was $0.75 a week.

My other love at the time was a dessert that they served at the restaurant where my mom worked. It was called a "European Iced Chocolate", and I think it was a tall glass with chocolate ice cream, chocolate milk, and some whipped cream. Sort of like a chocolate chocolate float, maybe. I'm not sure what made it 'European', but I sure loved them. Yummy. (That's when I was in my chocolate phase...all chocolate, all the time!) They were $0.50, and if I bought one with my allowance, I had to leave the other $0.25 as a tip for the waitress. My mother didn't want to raise stingy children. ;)

I was definitely in the habit of taking my $0.75 to the restaurant every week. But I also REALLY wanted that picture. My mom decided that $16.55 was just too much for a 7 or 8 year old to have to come up with, so she paid $10 to the gallery, and they put the picture on layaway for me. For you whippersnappers who may not know what layaway is, you put down part of the money up front, and then you make payments towards your desired object. I don't remember if I saved the $6.55 up and paid it all at once, but I kind of remember going in every week and giving them my $0.75. There I was, right next to the restaurant. The European Iced Chocolate was CALLING to me. I had to have it. But I also had to have that painting. So I resisted. For over 2 months, I resisted. It was a difficult two months.

Finally, the day came, and I was able to purchase my painting. I was SO proud of myself. So proud that I had saved that long, an eternity to a child. That I had foregone the delicacy that was a European Iced Chocolate for over 8 weeks. Amazing.
On the day when we finally went to get the picture, the woman behind the counter wrapped it carefully for me, and treated me with as much respect as any adult customer. Then my mom took me next door, and bought me a European Iced Chocolate to celebrate. That was probably the best one I ever had. :)

A year or so ago, I realized that I could probably make them at home, seeing as how they sell chocolate ice cream, chocolate milk, and whipped cream at Safeway. Not sure why it took me this long to figure it out, but c'est la vie, eh? So, just the other night, we had them for dessert. Yum.

Movie Time

2006-09-20T06:25:00.000-07:00

We have watched several DVDs over the last few days...I watched "Last Holiday", which was cute, but I didn't laugh even once. It's a remake, and the premise, if you don't know, is that a quiet, mousy woman is told that she's going to die in a couple of weeks...which motivates her to take the bull by the horns and finally live life. She goes to Europe and spends a week or so living with such gusto, such abandon, that everyone around her is enthralled and falls under her spell of forthright talking and joie de vivre. Like I said, cute. No more.

We TRIED to watch "Super Troopers", but it was just too dumb, so we gave up. The idea, from what I could gather, was a small Vermont town with a bunch of pot head loser state troopers, battling the local police department in order to stay open. Supposed to be more fun than a bowl full of monkeys, but really, just about as much fun as one monkey that pees in your dishwasher. The best part of that one was singing the ABBA song, "Super Trooper" (Sup-poop-per Troop-poop-per).

Finally, we hit a jackpot. We watched The Girl in the Cafe, about a painfully shy, lonely man who is going to the G8 summit in Iceland, and on a whim, invites a shy, lonely girl whom he meets in a cafe to join him. I highly recommend it. Very good. In addition to being a good film, with a nice May/December type romance, it is a story of what good an individual can do in the world, how we can all, perhaps, make a difference. You know, just in case we're ever invited to the G8 summit. A nice balm for some of the cynicism that has been infecting me lately, and threatens to get worse by the time the stupid elections are behind us.

Birth Story

2006-09-19T19:19:00.000-07:00

Black Belt Mama has a second blog, called Birth Story, where you can tell the story of the birth of your child if you want to. I wrote about Maya's birth there awhile ago, and my mom just wrote about my birth. If you're so inclined, go check it out. ;) (My mom's birth, Lilith Joycelyn, and my brother's birth, Richard Roland, are also there. Which led Maya to wonder if her Granny might write the story of my Grandma's birth as well.)

Dealbreakers

2006-09-19T06:11:00.000-07:00

I was reading Dooce yesterday. I don't usually read her blog, because when someone gets 400+ comments on a post about nothing at all, I get a little jealous, and I don't want to hang with them anymore. Of course, she never knew I was hanging with her to begin with. Anyway, once in awhile, I'll come back and check out her blog, and see what's new in Dooceland.

On this particular day, she was talking about her friend Maggie (who is cousin to a friend of ours), another big time blogger, and how she has a book out called No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog. Cherry talked about this same book a few weeks ago, and I'm looking forward to hearing some of the ideas that come out of it, and what she does with them. The idea that Dooce picked up on was:

“What are your relationship deal breakers? Some folks are annoyed if a date shows up ten minutes late. Others look for something weightier, like a felony record. Have you ever rejected someone over something that seems insignificant to your friends? Or do you have selective blindness for red flags?”

To be fair, I haven't dated in so long, it's hard to remember what a deal breaker might be for me. I mean, Ted and I have been together since the end of 1987. I was only 21 (almost 22) at the time, so I didn't have a TON of experience in the dating world. But, here are the deal breakers from my short time dating:

1. The guy who says, "Lately, I've been dating mostly fat girls. I'm not sure why. I've decided, hey, I'm better than that, and so I'm dating thin chicks now." Um, not this thin chick, you asshat.

2. The guy who told me his favorite actor of all time was Tom Cruise. Even back then, that signified 'no brains here' to me.

3. The guy who wouldn't believe the things that I knew to be true, because I was a female. But would believe the same things from a man. Hated that.

4. The guy, who, when we were kissing, actually said, "If you don't leave now, you'll have to stay the night." Ugh. BYE!

OK, that's not a long list, but it's long enough. People are gross sometimes, huh? What were your dealbreakers, back in the day? (Or today, if you're still dating?)

Sitcom Theme Songs I Can't Help But Sing Along With...

2006-09-18T06:48:00.000-07:00

This one is kind of embarrasing, but I can't help myself. I totally ripped off the lovely Tracy at The Starshine Report, but really, I have no shame. ;) I've decided to pump it up a bit for you, though, so you can watch the videos yourself, and see/hear the theme songs. Enjoy!

1. The Jeffersons.
I dare you not to sing along. I, too, want a piece of the pie. And remember the interracial couple next door? The black woman was my boyfriend Lenny Kravitz's mom. Whew.

2. Alice.
This show was funny enough, but somehow, I just really liked the song. :)

3. One Day at a Time.
The older daughter had my name, but I identified more with Barbara. Until the time she came out of the shower in full make up. That was weird.

4. The Brady Bunch.
I know. I'm shameless. But really, unless you were like my sisters*, and didn't have TV, you surely know the words to this one:

*And if you're wondering how I had tv and my sisters didn't, obviously you haven't been reading my blog very long, because they're my half sisters, who were raised by my tv hating dad, and I was raised by my tv loving mom. :)

5. Happy Days.
OK, I know, very unhip and uncool now, but back in the day, this was the coolest show on TV. At least when you're 8 or however old I was. The song is very catchy, too. ;)

That's it. Hope you enjoyed it. How about you? Do you have favorite theme songs from the past that you're willing to admit to? Anyone?

PS, to Bite My Cookie, if you're reading this, I'm having a hell of a time commenting on your blog. Tried 4 times in three days, keep getting some kind of HTML error. WTF?

Zachary's Pizza

2006-09-17T08:56:00.000-07:00

If you're from the Chicago area, you probably can get Chicago style pizza any time you want. I've never been closer to Chicago than I-80, driving from San Francisco to Philadelphia, so I don't know for sure. But if you live in the Bay Area, the best place to get Chicago style pizza is indisputably at Zachary's. The problem is that Zachary's is always CROWDED. There is one location in Oakland, another in Berkeley, and the wait is often over an hour. So the 'in the know' solution is to get your pizza 'half baked', and take it home, finish cooking it there, and enjoy.

Well, good news to those of us on the "wrong side of the tunnel" as I like to say. There's a brand new Zachary's restaurant, located in San Ramon, and boy, it's tasty pizza. If you don't know Chicago Style pizza (at least what Zachary's calls Chicago style pizza...like I said, I've never been to Chicago), it's deep dish, which at Zachary's, means stuffed pizza. From their web site:

Different from a traditional "deep dish" pizza or calzone, stuffed pizza is unique.
We begin this luscious creation with a bottom layer of dough inside a two inch deep pan.
A hearty helping of cheese topped with ingredients of your choice are added next.
Then another thin layer of dough covers the ingredients, and our zesty tomato sauce tops the pie!
As the pizza cooks, the top layer of dough will melt into the cheese, and the result is a delicious pie that you will enjoy!

Looking at their webpage, I'm thinking Z's takes a bit of liberty, and it's different than other Chicago style pizzas.

No matter. What matters here is that it's seriously yummy pizza, and that the best time to go is probably at the most inconvenient time, because if it's inconvenient for you, it's probably inconvenient for others as well. We went at 4:00 in the afternoon on a Saturday, their 4th day of business. They were full, asked for our name, but as we were giving it to them, a table came available. By the time we left, there was quite a long wait outside. Consider yourself warned.

They are famous for their Spinach and Mushroom pizza. It's their signature dish, really. Unfortunately, spinach isn't such a lovely thing to eat right now, so they weren't serving it. No matter. Avoiding meat for our newly vegetarian daughter, we opted for the Mediterranean Pizza, which was filled with a mixture of red bell peppers, artichoke hearts, and green olives with feta and jack cheeses. The menu didn't say so, but the red bell peppers tasted roasted to me, if that matters.

So, if you live in the Bay Area, and you're at all interested in Pizza, please note that there are now THREE Zachary's you can visit, and they are all yummy, and, fortunately for them, they are ALL very busy.

A side note...seems that the owners, Barbara and Zachary, are retiring, and instead of selling the restaurants, they have decided to make it an employee owned business. Pretty cool, huh?

I'm Just Sayin'

2006-09-16T08:23:00.000-07:00

I bought a cute dress at maxstudio.com once, and now I get these emails telling me of their new lines, etc. The one I received yesterday came with the subject line, "Snazz up your office wardrobe", and this picture. Tell me, if the girl in the middle doesn't work at Vogue, where could that possibly be appropriate office attire? I've only been working from home for a few months here...has office culture changed THAT much? Wait...maybe she works from home, so she can wear whatever she wants? I'm thinking maybe she should add a bra to her ensamble.

Jupterian*

2006-09-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

Did you know that Maya was born on Jupiter? Perhaps that would explain why she's so darned smart and beautiful and yummy as well. I love this picture. She's just so pretty. :)

When she was a baby, she had a birthmark on the back of her head. It was a large red hemangioma (sometimes called a 'strawberry'), which looked remarkably like the big red spot on Jupiter. So we decided that she was FROM Jupiter, and thus, a Jupterian.

When she was little, and asked where babies came from, we gave her a couple of answers. We sometimes told her the truth, and we sometimes told her that she was from Jupiter. That all babies are on different planets in our solar system, and they get transported into their mother's womb just before birth. Well, maybe a few months before. Don't try to tie me down with logic here, OK?

Anyway, this never caused any real confusion on her part...she knew the truth, and she knew the fun, and she liked them both. (Though she always thought the sex part was kind of gross...)

One day, when she was maybe 4, we were shopping at Lunardis (grocery store near us), and she was sitting in the cart, and suddenly her friends on Jupiter transmitted some secret code to her, which caused her to overcome her debilitating shyness long enough for her to tell everyone we passed that she was from Jupiter. What I liked best about that day was that not one person blew her off, or said, "Oh, really?" and looked at me in that semi-superior way that some adults have, and that sensible children find unbearable. No, they all played along. She got answers like, "Really? I'm from Saturn. Aren't Earthlings STRANGE?" or, "That's great. My sister's from Jupiter. Have you met?" She must have told 10 people of her intergalactic heritage, and not one person batted an eyelash.

My summation of all of this? Apparently, not ALL people suck.

*This post is really just an excuse for me to share this picture, because I love it so much. And it's a cute story, and I didn't have a blog when it happened...

Old Friends

2006-09-14T06:28:00.000-07:00

Old friends,
Old friends
Sat on their park bench
Like bookends.
A newspaper blown though the grass
Falls on the round toes
Of the high shoes
Of the old friends.

Old friends,
Winter companions,
The old men
Lost in their overcoats,
Waiting for the sunset.
The sounds of the city,
Sifting through trees,
Settle like dust
On the shoulders
Of the old friends.

Can you imagine us
Years from today,
Sharing a park bench quietly?
How terribly strange
To be seventy.
Old friends,
Memory brushes the same years
Silently sharing the same fears.
- Paul Simon

Does anyone understand how it is that friendships grow, then wither away? How do we come to be so very close to someone, and then one day look back and realize that it's been years since we spoke? Sometimes we are the initiator of this change, and sometimes, it is merely inertia that does a friendship in. I have a few friends, friends whom I thought would be with me forever, and now, I'm not so sure. I thought we'd be like those friends on the park bench that Paul Simon talks about. Only time will tell.

The first of these friends, I'll call Leslie. This is because her name is Leslie. We met at Delta Jr. College in Stockton, maybe in a History class. Leslie is tall and beautiful and smart and wonderful. Leslie and I became close, and I came to think of her as one of my very dearest friends. We agreed on politics, we agreed on movies and books and we had a similar sense of humor. I loved her. I wanted her to be in my life always. When we first moved to San Francisco, she lived a block away from me...me in an apartment, she in the USF dorms. We saw each other often. When she moved to the east coast, we kept in touch. These were the days before email, and we wrote letters and made phone calls. We went to the east coast for a convention, and she cancelled a camping trip so she could come visit us. When she came to the west coast, we would get together for drinks and dinner. We always had a great time. She moved back west, we moved out east, she moved back east, and through it all, we were friends.

Then, something happened, and we lost touch. I wrote. She didn't write back. I called. She didn't return my call. Finally, I got desperate, and I called her mother (a wonderful woman whom I considered a friend as well.) I asked her if her Leslie was OK. She said, No, Leslie isn't OK. She's going through a divorce (I was her maid of honor, she was one of my bridesmaids), and she's terribly depressed. Don't give up on her. So I didn't. I kept trying. She called me one day, and I cried with relief to talk to her. But after the first part of the conversation, where she told me of her divorce, of how she had gotten back together with her high school boyfriend, who was also divorced, and how she was going to move to Idaho soon, our conversation sort of...faltered. It was like, beyond catching up, we didn't have much to say to each other anymore. Was it that our lives were too different, me with my toddler, she with her divorce? Was it just time that had passed? I don't know. She promised me that when she moved to Idaho, she would call and give me her new number. That was over 8 years ago, and she has never called. My number hasn't changed. At one point, I mailed a letter to her, in care of her mother, but she never wrote back. Maybe she didn't want to be friends anymore. Maybe she couldn't use her words and tell me that she didn't like me anymore. It's possible. But boy, it hurt.

Which reminds me of a friend of Ted's, who he no longer wanted to be friends with. They had been very close for years, but the friendship had changed, and the friend couldn't come over without them getting into a shouting match about something. I don't think that Ted ever told him that he didn't want to be friends anymore (although they did have some conversations, trying to figure out what the anger was about, so it's not like he didn't TRY to fix it), but when this friend would call, Ted wouldn't call back. When I think of this friend, I think, is that me? Am I the annoying friend who won't go away, and Leslie is Ted? Because honestly, I've done that before...ignored someone's calls until they went away, just because they had become SO unpleasant to be around. But my vanity doesn't want to accept that I could be the person on the other end of this relationship.

But even if all it was was inertia on her part, it hurt me deeply to know that I wasn't important enough for her to try a little. I'm going to write her whole name here, in case she might someday google herself, find me here, and contact me. My phone number is in the book, Leslie Lucchesi. If you're ever interested, I'm here.

God, I sound pathetic.

Then there are the friends that I have lost through inertia.

Karol Ann, whom I also met in Stockton, at a hotel we both worked at. We were very close for a short time, and at this point, we are Christmas card friends. We write to each other once a year, but we don't take the time to get together, even though we only live about an hour away from each other.

Neva, who was my best friend in 6th grade. We slept at each others houses every weekend. We loved each other like sisters. Then we went to different Jr. High schools, and nothing was the same again. This one, happily, has a happy ending. We got in touch about 5 or 6 years ago, through Classmates.com, and we are darling friends again. We get together for dinner, we laugh, we shop, we eat and drink and are merry. Thank god for Neva, who knew me even before I had boobs.

Rosemary, my soulmate friend. We met in the 9th grade, and we were best friends, literally, from the first day we met. (And you know I don't use literally unless I mean it!) We were so very close for so very long. I loved her more than I loved myself. And I suspect we will come together again as our lives slow down, but at this point, she is so damned busy that she only has a passing thought to spare for me, only a bit of time to spare so we can get together when she's in town (they live on the east coast). This hurts a lot. I miss her. But I don't know what to do about it. She is one of the most defensive people I know, and if I confront her, will she even hear me? I guess if I care this much, I need to at least try.

Rainie, another Stockton friend. She moved to San Francisco a semester before I did, and we attended San Francisco State together. She was the first of my friends to get married. The first to have a baby. Her husband is Pakistani, and they moved there in '92 so they could care for his aging parents. They returned to the US when Pakistan started getting scary fundamentalist, and we got together once, but neither of us has bothered beyond that.

Why is that? Why is it that there are these people in life, people that you love so damned much, they feel like your sisters...you tell them everything about yourself, they tell you everything, you share so many joys and sorrows...and then...they just drift away, only to be replaced by newer friends, perhaps as close, perhaps as not, but people who are willing to make the effort required to maintain a relationship? I don't know. Do I need a psychology class? Or perhaps a sociology class? Or maybe, I just need to make more of an effort. But so far, my experience has been that this effort is one sided, and I get tired of feeling like I'm not worth the effort that the other person would have to make.

I wish I understood this kind of thing.

Rest In Peace, Ann

2006-09-14T06:20:00.000-07:00

I was sorry to boot up my computer this morning and learn that Ann Richards, former governor of Texas, had succomed to cancer. I wrote about her once before, here. She was a hell of a woman, and we sure need more like her. She will be missed in the fight for what's right.

Speechless

2006-09-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

I don't even know what to say about this...I was just reading Salon's Broadsheet, and came across a trifecta of bullshit that should make every woman in the United States wretch, and hopefully, make both men and women understand why it is so important that we claim the term Feminist, and fight this shit. I don't have the energy to try to paraphrase, so I'm just going to copy and paste.

Some days there is just so much repulsive news that it would be, well, criminally depressing to separate it into three separate entries. So for everyone's vomitous convenience, I present the three grossest stories of the day, in no particular order.

The first item is technically not a "today" story. In fact, Page Rockwell mentioned it briefly in Friday's "What Else We're Reading." But have you seen these Bratz dolls and their provocative underwear sets? These little pink and purple numbers include padded "bralettes" to better enhance your 6-year-old's cleavage. According to a piece in Saturday's Australian Herald Sun, these sets are for girls who are 6 and 7 years old. That's kindergarten, first grade, second grade, folks. And don't let the diminutive "bralette" fool you. These are brassieres. For Broadsheet readers who may not have experience with this: Girls that age do not typically wear bras. At all. Because they do not have breasts. Because they are children.

A spokeswoman from Bratz distributor Funtastic told the Herald Sun that the notion that the bras might sexualize children was silly. "The idea of the padding is for girls to be discreet as they develop ... It is more about hiding what you have got than showing it off." A Target spokesperson likewise argued that the padded bras "give girls modesty and style as they go through development changes." The message is that everyone should calm down: No one's trying to make your little girls voluptuous by selling them padded bras. They're just trying to make them feel shame about their bodies six years before puberty!

While rummaging around the Web for more information on the "bralettes," I found this blog entry that also has photos of some Bratz dolls, Phoebe "Sugar" and Roxxi "Spice," dressed only in cropped fur and leather jackets and their undergarments. The dolls have baby milk bottles chained to their ankles. Because, like so many imps named "Roxxi," they just love to hang out in their lacy underthings and furs and drink milk from their sippy cups.

Onward and upward to our next uplifting tale: today's report in the New York Post about two waitresses suing the pub that employed them for sexual harassment. Their particular harassment is what makes this story stand out. The women claim that they were regularly weighed by their bosses, who also kept track of their poundage on a spreadsheet and on a Web site that supposedly tracked and compared the weights of the female serving staffs of other New York City eateries. One of the waitresses, Kristen McRedmond, told the Post that she was summoned into the manager's office, where she was told she "needed to get on the scale." When she resisted, she claims that a manager tried to pick her up and put her on the scale while another man looked on. McRedmond and her fellow complainant allege that only female workers were asked to weigh in, and that managers would comment when the female wait staff ordered fatty fried food for their own dinners. The women's lawyer, Rosemarie Arnold, told the Post, "I've been doing sexual-harassment law for 20 years, and this has to be the most egregious case of degradation to women that I have ever seen."

And last but by no means least on the barfometer is this fashion spread, singled out by Gawker yesterday, from Italian Vogue. Called "State of Emergency," it's a series of photographs by Steven Meisel in which, in a moving tribute to a post-9/11 world, scantily clad women in vertiginous heels and various states of undress are subjected to a stunning array of physical brutalities at the hands of big policemen. Some of the highlights include a woman being forced to the ground by officers, her dress pulled up and her legs spread with a cop's knee between them; a model who has been shoved against a car, her dress also hiked to a height at which her lower ass is visible, her legs forcibly separated; a woman in a red cocktail dress, prone on a dirty sidewalk with a big boot stomping her neck. And then there's the woman who's being strip-searched in an airport, standing in a lacy black bra.

You can just about imagine all these stories getting rolled into one arresting photo spread: a 6-year-old girl clad only in her bralette being forced at gunpoint to stand on a scale.
-- Rebecca Traister

Please join me in outrage and disgust.

Thankful

2006-09-13T10:44:00.000-07:00

I have an idea for a post kind of percolating in my head, but it's not fully formed, and it's somewhat depressing, so I'm not ready to write it up yet. Maybe tomorrow. So, for today, I'll mention a few of the little things that I'm thankful for in my life.

I'm thankful that the combination of Oxy Clean and the new Bissell that Ted bought yesterday (yay Sears! This link isn't to Sears...it's to a post that I read about them) removed all traces of orange dog barf from our bedroom carpet. Also that Ted and the Bissell worked together to get some of the worst of the 'high traffic' (read, dog sleeps there) areas clean yesterday.

I'm thankful that we were able to afford the wonderful vacuum cleaner that Ted bought yesterday. It's GREAT. We've never been able to buy such a nice one before, one that SHOULD last more than 2 or 3 year. (No, it's not a Kirby. We didn't win the Lotto or anything.)

I'm thankful that ML did my food meme, because hers caused me to crave sushi all day, and being the spoiled brat that I am, Ted took us out for sushi last night. Nice.

I'm thankful for Maya's involvement in the Girl Scouts. For all of my complaining about how much involvement it takes from the moms, when it's really the girls' thing, it is a great program, and I think she's learning great things from it. For example, there is a shelter in our area called Bay Area Crisis Nursery, which is a place that families in crisis can go during their time of need. We've been a little bit involved with them in years past...at EDS, there was something called Global Volunteer Day, where all employees were encouraged to form teams and take on a volunteer project in their community. My team volunteered to help out at the BACN by painting a few rooms for them one day. It was fun, and Ted and Maya were able to come and paint as well, even though they weren't employees of EDS. Well, that wall we painted was torn down this week. They are tearing down the Nursery, and doing a Miracle Makeover, which means they will be rebuilding VERY quickly, in something like 10 days. There will be crews working there in shifts, 24 hours a day during this time. Maya's girl scout troop knows of the Nursery...they went and wrapped gifts for the children who were housed there last year. When they found out about the Miracle Makeover, they decided they wanted to help out, so after school today, they're going over to the troop leaders house and making a meal for the workers, which they will then deliver this evening. We live in a fairly affluent community, and our girls are somewhat sheltered. It's nice to see them involved in a program where they can learn to give back to the community in such a hands on way. Of course, in addition to the volunteering, Girl Scouts emphasizes the girls doing things themselves and being very self reliant, which I also really like. I was raised to be very self reliant, and Montessori also teaches this, but I notice that I tend to do a lot of things for Maya, because it's faster and easier. I'm doing her a disservice, I realize, and I'm working on it. (Ted's much better about having her do things for herself. If it were up to me, I'd probably still be bathing her at bedtime.) So between Ted, Girl Scouts, and Montessori, and maybe some backing off on my part, I'm sure she'll turn out to be self reliant. ;) Thanks, Girl Scouts.

I'm thankful to live in the Bay Area. To be able to go to the Monet exhibit last week was a treat. To have so many different opportunities so close to us is a great thing. Of course, I do get tired of hot summers and Republicans (we are in the East Bay, after all, on the wrong side of the tunnel), but I can deal with both.

I'm thankful for fake meat. Maya has decided to give vegetarianism a shot, and while I want to support her wholeheartedly, I like to eat meat, and I don't want to join her. I also don't want to make two meals every night. So I'm thankful that there are fake chicken strips and things like that that we can serve her when we have regular chicken. The rest of the meal we can all eat. :) Thanks, Morningstar Farms!

I'm thankful for the Advil Cold and Sinus I just took. I have a sinus thing today, and usually those help a lot. I'm hoping this will be one of those times.

I'm thankful that although I have seen a bluejay flying around outside of my window, it has yet to start waking me up in the morning with obnoxious bluejay screams. I don't mind them during the day, only when I'm trying to sleep. So maybe this one's nest is far enough away that I don't have to listen to it. I'm glad.

I'm thankful that the price of gas is finally under $3 a gallon. Still way too high, but it's getting a bit better.

That's my list for today. I'm thankful for a lot of other things as well...both big and small, personal and global. But jeez, that could take all day. :)

The Post Where I Literally Murder my Readers with Boredom...

2006-09-12T10:47:00.000-07:00

This was one of those weekends where you are so very busy, and you take a peek at the activities that are planned, and you think, if I had no child, this would be a COMPLETELY different weekend. Not better. Not worse. Different.

Friday, I took the day off of work, and chaperoned Maya's class to the Monet Exhibit at the Legion of Honor in San Francisco. All I can say is, WOW. There are some paintings that just look...DIFFERENT...in real life. I've seen pictures of Monet's Japanese bridge with waterlillies for as long as I can remember. On posters, greeting cards, whatever. It's background noise for the eyes. Then, there I was, in a VERY crowded room, stifling with too many warm bodies all milling about, and there was this amazing painting, with texture and depth and nuance only hinted at in the posters and cards and so on. It was claustrophobic and crowded and annoying, and really, really wonderful. There were so many pictures that I had never seen before, paintings that are wonderful and rare and so beautiful. (And it was a beautiful, foggy day in the city...with glimpses of the Golden Gate through the cypress trees, it was cool and damp and a balm to those of us in the East Bay, where today it is supposed to be 90 degrees.)

Side note: You all know of my love for my iPod, and some of you know that I love to listen to This American Life on said beloved iPod. Well, a week or so ago, I was listening to This American Life, and the program was about Americans who live in Paris, and why. It was a pretty interesting program, especially the part from the black woman who loves Paris because there she is American first, not black first, and she gets tired of the racism she finds here in America. She is the first to admit that her American accent grants her friendliness not afforded to those with African accents, but enjoys it nonetheless. But I'm digressing too far here. On that same program was a bit by David Sedaris, a frequent commentator on This American Life. He was saying that he doesn't go to museums, because he doesn't see the point in standing in front of paintings and looking at them. Finds no joy or real beauty there. He's never been to the Louvre, or the Picasso Museum, or any of the other famous museums in Paris. I try not to judge others for being different than I am, but when I hear of someone who finds no beauty in museums, I find that I just don't quite understand them as well as I thought I did. I was reminded of Mr. Sedaris' museum comments while we were in the city.

Friday night, after returning on a school bus of bedlam, we got cleaned up and went to a party at the board presidents house. I served a 3 year term on the school board at Maya's school, and he was having a party for the outgoing and incoming members. It was nice. Cold, not too many people, but still, nice.

Saturday, we went to breakfast, which was nice, but then we parted ways. Ted went to a birthday party for his dad, and after that to a party at his bosses house. Maya and I went to a Girl Scout cabin in Hayward, which was a very strange place, and just maybe a bit too long to spend in a big room with 19 other people. It was a mother-daughter planning session, where we talked about our goals for this year in Girl Scouts, they talked about their goals, we did exercises to get to know each other better, we cooked and cleaned together, took a hike, found a cemetery, got stung (not me, one of the scouts), basically bonded. Which was all very nice, but I wish it had been an all day thing, instead of 4pm Saturday until 2pm Sunday. Ugh. Not so fond of sleeping on mats on the floor in a room crowded with people I don't really know that well. During some mom-down-time, I walked around a bit. The cabin is located behind the "Hayward Plunge", which is this really old building with an indoor pool, for the community to use. It looked pretty worn out to me. But I saw the sign that said it's 70 years old this year, so I guess that's why. I'll probably look somewhat worn out when I'm 70, too. There was also a little cemetery (All Saints Cemetery, it was named) behind the cabin, which kind of freaked one of the girls out. She had a hard time sleeping, and she cried a lot. Poor kid. And selfishly, poor us, because we couldn't sleep either, with her crying. Sigh. (Another side note...I'm so used to seeing modern cemeteries, with their manicured lawns and quaint names for the areas, it's always kind of strange to come across a forgotten place like this one, dried out, littered with broken glass and vodka bottles, with smashed headstones and broken hearts...I always wonder about the people who were left behind...are they dead now, too? The most recent headstone that I saw was 1945, most of the people seemed to have died in the 20s and 30s. And mostly from other countries, maybe.)

We came home after that, and took much needed showers, and vegged out.

Monday, after taking Maya to school, I went to a training for a program that I'm implementing at Maya's school. It's not new in the area, but it is new to the school, and I'll be the coordinator. It seems like a really GREAT program, and I'm looking forward to it. The program consists of parents getting trained at the Health and Human Services place (21 hours of training, plus the coordinator training I did yesterday), and then you go back to the school and train the kids to resist drugs and tobacco, deal with bullies, look skeptically at advertising and marketing, deal with alcoholism, on and on and on. What a great program.

So, that was my weekend. It rudely ended this morning, with the barfing of Genevieve, right by my ear. Thankfully, the Oxy Clean seems to have worked. Whew.

More Later...

2006-09-12T07:23:00.000-07:00

Why 8 year old daughters are superior to 8 year old dogs:

My then 8 year old daughter, at 4:50am about a year and a half ago:
"Mama, I threw up."
"Where?"
"In the toilet."

My NOW 8 year old dog, at 4:50am this morning:
"barf"

Right.by.my.bed.

Oh, you have to know, the carpet cleaner died awhile ago, and the vacuum cleaner died on Sunday, and I've had 4 days off from work, so really don't have time to go shopping for new ones right now. But you will have to wait for my regularly scheduled post, because I kind of have to deal with the barf this morning. I'm gonna try Oxy.

More Later, I promise. Can't promise it will be GOOD, but there will be something.

Edelmiro Abad

2006-09-11T05:26:00.000-07:00

Edelmiro Abad of Brooklyn at a wedding with his close-knit family: his wife, Lorraine, and in white from left, daughters Serena, 19, Rebecca, 26, and Jennifer, 23.

Beloved husband, proud father, loving son, brother, uncle and dear friend are words that best describe Edelmiro Abad. Ed touched the lives of all who knew him with loving words, a kind gesture, or his unique sense of humor. Ed lived a happy, fulfilled life with his wife of 29 years and three daughters. He also enjoyed a successful career with Fiduciary Trust for 26 years. His co-workers and clients became more than just friends; they became family. Although we have lost a beautiful person, we have truly gained an angel. We love you, we miss you, and we will meet again.

He was my mentor and friend. He was always there when I needed him professionally and personally. First and foremost always were "his girls." He would always burst with pride when he told us about his writer, his dancer, his chef and Lorraine just being Lorraine. Ed was loved and respected by all who had the privilege of knowing him. Ed, thank you for your strength and kindness. I will miss you more than you could ever know.

-Michele Kearney

I Remember
Edelmiro Abad
Brooklyn, NY

Back in June, I read on Ally Bean's site about this project, called the 2996 project, where you can volunteer to take the name of one victim from the September 11th attacks, and write a memorial to that person. I was assigned the name of Ed Abad.

This project seems far removed to me, far removed from my life in California, 3,000 miles from New York, DC, and Pennsylvania, where people suffered immeasurable horrors on that day. And yet, I thought, maybe I can do my part. Maybe I can write about how this loss, the loss of Mr. Abad and so many, too many, others has affected me. How it has affected us all.

September 11th, was, for me, supposed to be a day when I went into Oakland for a payroll conference, learning about boring changes to reporting requirements from the spokespeople from the Social Security Administration. It was a chance to get out of the office, maybe have lunch in a different place, learn some new things about my newish job.

I was in the shower, getting ready, when Ted came in and told me that his Aunt had called his mother, called from England since she knew we were so far removed, time wise, and might not yet be up and watching TV or listening to the news. Ted told me that someone had flown a plane into the World Trade Center. By the time I got downstairs, the first tower had fallen...they were showing the second plane hitting, over and over again. I remember the horror that I felt, not knowing whether this was the work of foreign terrorists, or perhaps the work of another Timothy McVeigh type psychopath. I remember worrying about Ted and his family, about the fear that was felt by many people of color, of that certain color, during the first Gulf War, that they would be targeted for acts of violence and hatred.

Then the second tower fell. It was such a horrid time, such an amazingly horrid event in the history of our country. I remember thinking...this is what people in Northern Ireland, Israel, Kashmir, and London have been living with for years. Now it has come here.

My boss came to my house, not sure if what he had heard on the radio was true, or if it was a stupid radio stunt. He knew by my face that it was true. We left from here to go to Oakland for our conference, not sure that that was the thing to do, but oddly holding on to normalcy. We arrived in Oakland, went through maybe 15 minutes of training, before the Federal Building there was shut down as a precaution. So we went home. Then in to the office, oddly. In retrospect, I'm not sure why we went. Just habit I suppose, like I went into work the day after the earthquake in '89. Stayed at work for a few hours, watching the news unfold, crying quietly in my cubicle. Finally the word came that we should go home.

I came home, hungry for more news. Turned on the TV, only to see pictures of people, desperate people, jumping to their deaths from the top of the twin towers. It was the most horrid sight I have ever seen in my life. I hope to never see anything like it again. I turned off the TV, cried, cleaned house, tried to get some idea of how to deal with this.

I remember the weeks following...the days of strange quiet in the air when no airplanes flew...knowing that there were no airplanes, from coast to coast, border to border. It was a very strange feeling.

I remember being told by my leader that we needed to act normal, that we needed to go shopping, to keep our economy afloat. This cut me to the quick. I wanted to sacrifice...to give up something, as the victims of the attacks had done. As our grandparents had done after Pearl Harbor, with their shortages and sacrifice, that you felt and knew were contributing to the greater good of America, the fight against evil. Instead, we were asked to go shopping.

I knew then that we would attack Iraq. Hoped in my heart that I was wrong. Hoped that our leader would not take this opportunity to settle a grudge against the man who shamed his father. But deep down, I feared that I would turn out to be right on this.

I remember the day my mother and I had chosen to go to an Afghani restaurant for dinner, and decided it was somehow wrong to change those plans because of current circumstances...that maybe if we went, we would be telling the people who ran the restaurant that we understood that THEY were not the Taliban. THEY were not Al Quaeda. THEY were not the people who had attacked our nation. The day we chose, sadly, was the day that the U.S. started dropping bombs on Afghanistan. Our waiter walked around like a man in a dream, a man in a nightmare. I felt like we were there to support him, but that maybe, he just wanted to be home, alone, to not have to serve food to strangers, white strangers, and wonder what we thought of him, if he even had those thoughts at that time. Any thoughts to spare save those for his friends and family at home.

I remember that there were songs that were not supposed to be played on the radio. One of those songs was U2, Sunday Bloody Sunday. To this day, the opening lyrics tie me with September 11th, with the pain and horror of watching those buildings fall, of watching people fall to their deaths rather than stay in such a toxic, horrid building.

I can't believe the news today
I can't close my eyes, and make it go away
How long, how long must we sing this song,
How long?

Now, 5 years later, how am I to put any sort of perspective on that day. On the many, many horrid days since that day. On the loss of American life, the loss of life for our allies from England, France, Germany, Australia, etc. The loss of Iraqi life, the loss of Afghani life in a now mostly ignored war....what to say about the more recent loss of life in Israel and Lebanon...what to say about the hatred in our hearts, that pits person against person so venemously.

I want to say moving, amazing words to remember them all. To remember Ed Abad, of Brooklyn, who I committed to commerate this day. And truly, I don't know how.

5 Things to Eat Before You Die

2006-09-09T08:45:00.000-07:00

I saw this meme on Lotus Reads, and she did such a beautiful job with it, I thought that I would try it out, even though she didn't tag me. I loved the thought she put into her answers, and the pictures.

I've done several memes where one of the questions is "5 favorite foods" or something like that. For a question like that, my answer is generally something along the lines of 'Rib Eye, Heirloom tomatoes, cheetos...", that kind of thing. Things I love and eat often.

This meme, however, is titled "5 things you should eat before you die", which implies that these should be special things, things that you would recommend to people wholeheartedly. So, here I am, wholeheartedly recommending my list of 5 things you should eat, at least once, before you die.

1. Thanh Long Roasted Crab.

Thanh Long is a restaurant way out in the Sunset District, in San Francisco. Ted's Aunt has been going there for years, since the crab was $7. Nowadays, it's probably closer to $35. It's worth it. They roast a whole dungeness crab in butter, garlic, oil, pepper, and secret things. It's incredibly yummy. They also have other crabs on the menu. Drunken Crab, cooked in white wine, good for those watching their cholesterol; and Sweet and Sour Crab. My advice? Get your veggies in at lunchtime, go to Thanh Long and order the roast crab and a plate of garlic noodles, and follow it up with fried bananas and ice cream. Yum. A warning: it's REALLY messy. Ted's cousin, Michelle, can eat it and only get two fingers on each hand messy. She's the only person on earth with this skill. So don't dress too fancy. A suggestion: they have crab all year, but it's best in mid to late fall. Mmmm.

They have a few sister restaurants. Crustacean in San Francisco (At the corner of Polk and California streets, at the cable car turnaround), another Crustacean in Beverly Hills, and it looks from their website like they're opening another restaurant on Sutter Street, in San Francisco, on Nob Hill. I assume that from the name of the restaurant, 536 Sutter. It could be a Sutter Street somewhere else.

2. Dinner at Laperouse in Paris.

We went there on our honeymoon in 1993. I wrote about it once before, but it bears reminding you, because every single bite was AMAZING. We've eaten at some pretty amazing restaurants, most notably in San Francisco and Philly, but nothing compares to Laperouse. Nothing even comes close. So yeah, go to Paris. Eat there. Thank me later.

3. Raspberries that never make it into the pail.

You're out in the woods, it's a warm summer day, dragonflies are buzzing around, and that sweet/tart taste is perfect. If you can manage to get a few home, eat them over good vanilla ice cream. (If you're not a big fan of the raspberry, substitute blueberries, blackberries, marionberries, whichever you like best. For me, it's raspberries.)

4. Salmon that you caught that day, brought home and grilled, along with fresh broccoli from your own garden.

It doesn't hurt if you're in Alaska, by the way. Good stuff. Amazingly good. When I caught my salmon, there were 'chum salmon' running, which means they were traveling from the ocean to their home rivers to spawn. The spot at the mouth of the river looked like it was boiling with fish. There were bald eagles circling around, and ravens looking for a meal. It was the only time I've ever killed my own food, and I'm thinking I would do it again, in a heartbeat.

5. A really good glass of wine or champagne.

Veuve Cliquot will do nicely. Especially if you pair it with the right meal, it can be sublime. The right cabernet with steak or duck, the right chardonnay with your pasta, can be a revelation. But really, I've had Veuve Cliquot with Taco Bell. (Only once, at a bridal shower, because that's the kind of girl she was!) And you know what? Best Taco Bell I had ever eaten. VC goes with almost anything.

So there's my list. I'll tag a few folks as well, and see what comes up. :)
1. La Luna
2. Cherry
3. ML
4. Emily
5. Jay

If anyone else wants to do this one, let me know. I'd love to read it!

This meme was started by Melissa at Travelers Lunchbox. Let her know if you participate. If you want to see other people's suggestions, check out her original post. There are hundreds. :)

Breaking Up with Shannen Doherty

2006-09-08T06:28:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else out there ever found yourself up too late, watching TV, and flipping channels, and you come across the train wreck that is "Breaking Up with Shannen Doherty"? (Let me take a moment to tell you that in searching for photos of Shannen showing her big nasty gap-toothed smile that makes me think, 'braces', 'cosmetic dentistry', and 'frenectomy', I came across the news that 90210 will finally be released on DVD this fall...oh, I'm almost tempted, but $62 for one season? WTF?)

So, here's the premise of her new show. Girl wants to break up with boy, but she's such a LOSER FREAK that she thinks it will be "fun" to break up with him on TV with Shannen's help. Well, here comes King Karma, and we quickly discover that boy is cheating on girl, because he's a 'player' (a term he uses quite proudly). Now that she knows he's a player, she REALLY wants to dump him, but she also wants a little bit of humiliation thrown in, for fun. Why are these people breaking up? They seem so well suited. All of this is before the first commercial break.

After the break, Shannen gloats while pig boy (aka, player) watches loser freak girl break up with him on video. He's still proud of being a 'player', and doesn't care that he just got dumped on TV. If his friends are the same high quality as these two, it will probably get him dates. Shannen is all snotty and superior with him, like she wouldn't be all over him like a cheap suit if there were no cameras running. The worst thing about the show, I think, was that in addition to being cruel and really dumb, it was BORING. I'm thinking it won't be on the air for very long, which, I can assure you, is a good thing. And I promise you, right now, if we are ever selected as a Nielson family, I will NOT admit to watching this drek, thereby keeping it on the air one second longer. I swear it.

Getting Crotchety in My Old Age

2006-09-07T06:32:00.000-07:00

I think I'm turning into a curmudgeon. I find that I often don't trust the service offered by young people anymore. I'm almost ready to call them 'whippersnappers'. Case in point, there's a breakfast place we enjoy in San Ramon called Katy's Korner. A few months ago, I discovered that they make really yummy Huevos Rancheros, which is three eggs, simmered in salsa, and served on a big plate with black beans, tortillas, sour cream, and maybe some avocado. Mmmmm. Yummy. The waitresses at Katy's Korner all seem like they've been there awhile, they know what they're doing, they know what they're talking about. They're not old, by any stretch, but maybe mid 30s to young 50s.

Enter Katy's Kreek into the equation. This is Katy's Korner's new little sister, located in downtown Walnut Creek. I wrote about it back in June. We have been there a few times so far, and I was happy to see one of the waitresses from Katy's Korner on the staff, showing the new employees the ropes.

Well, last week we went to Katy's Kreek for breakfast, and the Korner waitress was nowhere in sight. Just all new folks. OK, that's fine. Except it didn't really occur to anyone that Ted might like some more coffee. We had to look all around, and never really could catch anyone's eye. You know how, when you go to a restaurant with talented staff (any type of restaurant, any age of staff), they know to look at the customers...you can catch someone's eye as they walk by, even if you're not in their station? Yeah? Well, not so much these days, I'm finding.

So, I ordered my Huevos Rancheros, and instead of coming in one big melty-looking mess of goodness, the eggs were on one side of the plate, and there were what tasted like lukewarm canned refried beans on the other side of the plate, and a couple of tough tortillas on the side. Sigh. I couldn't really catch anyone's eye, so I ate it. And the eggs still tasted good. But the experience put me off. I asked the waiter, when he finally came with more coffee for Ted, when they had changed the Huevos. He said, "I don't know, I've only been here for 3 days." And then he went away. I looked around the restaurant, and the whole staff looked to be under the age of 25, not really interested in being there, not really looking to see if anyone needed anything, and I kind of gave up. I pretty much decided I wasn't going to find anyone there, besides myself and perhaps my lovely dining companions, who gave a crap about the fact that I didn't like the new way they're preparing the Huevos. Is that high maintenance, to want to tell someone when you like or don't like something? Seems like the owner might be interested in that kind of information.

Just an aside, here, to let you know that I haven't ALWAYS been a curmudgeon. There are times when I've gone places with a young staff, and that young staff is knowledgeable, interested in providing good service, and dedicated to doing their job well. It just seems like it's becoming more and more rare, and more and more often in my service industry transactions, I feel like I'm at the Home Depot, TRYING to find someone who either knows something, is willing to find out something for me, or at least is willing to PRETEND to give a shit.

The upside of all of this? I've learned to make my own Huevos Rancheros. I buy some good salsa from the refrigerated section at the store. I heat a bit in a frying pan. I crack my egg into it. I let it simmer. I pour a little bit of salsa over the top of the egg (I don't like sunny side up eggs laying there, just looking at me...I'm like Frances that way). I top it with a bit of Mexican cheese, let it get melty, and eat it with some tortilla chips, kind of like egg nachos. Mmmmm. When I told Cherry my tale, she said, "And at least if you change the way you make them, you'll know why." :) Exactly.

Heads Up Again

2006-09-06T22:10:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered why, if we're all descended from Africans 2,000 generations ago, we look so different? How people could possibly have arrived in Australia soon after Africa, and much later in Europe, which is connected by land? Sometimes I sort of wonder these things, in the non-scientific way my mind has, like, hmmm...I know that "sun people" are dark, and "ice people" are light", but how did this happen? Wait, what's for dinner?"

Hmmm. I could have called this post, "We're all African", "Walking for Evolution", or "Science vs. Traditionalists". Ted and I stumbled upon a great show on PBS tonight, called "Journey of Man". Has anyone seen this show? It's a two hour documentary that details the journey of man from Africa to Australia, Africa to Europe, Africa to Asia, and Africa to the Americas. We loved it. Poor Ted had to go to bed before it finished, but that's OK, I put it on our Netflix Queue, so we can see the whole thing. Who knows...it was so great, we may want to buy it, so we'll have it around when Maya's a bit older. It's that good. The thing is, the science for this show is truly fleeting. The people who put it together were so very lucky to have the technology to study DNA they way they did, when they did. Because there is just a short window here, with modern technology on the one hand, and globalization on the other. The geneticist who tells this story, Spencer Wells (HEY! That's my dad's last name! Maybe we're more related than we think!) talks to people in the most remote areas of the world, who have specific DNA that links them directly back thousands of generations, and makes connections that could not otherwise be accurately be made. So give this 20 or 30 years, with the current rate of globalization, and the DNA will be much more muddied than it is today. Go back 10 or 15 years, and the technology wasn't there. So really, there was just this tiny window of time for people to do this research, and this group were able to be there and do it. What else are we missing out on, either because it's too soon or too late? Damn.

Anyway, this is an amazing show, and I HIGHLY recommend that you check your local PBS station to see if it's playing anytime soon. We have 4 PBS stations here, so we're pretty darned fortunate that way. If it's not playing, check it out on DVD. Truly wonderful and amazing science, and beyond that, really good stories, really good TV.

Overreacting?

2006-09-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

I expected the lead-up to 9/11, the 5th anniversary of September 11th, to be full of fear. I expected BushCo to try to scare me with talk of war and terrorism. Hell, right before the midterms, I wouldn't be surprised if they found Bin Ladin AND the elusive WMDs in Iraq. What surprised me was watching Nova last night, which was all about the structural strength of the World Trade Center. I watched them talk about how the buildings did what they were supposed to do, to a point, and what went wrong. They talked about ways that the buildings could have been better designed. They said that about 10K people die every year in house and office fires, and only maybe 20 people a year die in high rise fires. My head tells me, this was once in a lifetime. Not only will new skyscrapers be safer, but it will be more difficult for terrorists to committ such a heinous crime. And probably, they're over there (or here...remember Oklahoma City?) thinking of new and inventive ways to terrorize us, not the same old tried and true.

My head tells me that there's nothing particularly dangerous about going to work every day in a big tall building. But my heart agrees with one woman who survived the attacks on the World Trade Center, who said, "If it takes me more than 5 minutes to evacuate a building, I don't belong in it." And I thought to myself, if there's a building, a tall hotel like the one I worked in for 7 years in SF, surrounded by other tall buildings, that's one thing. But to go up in the Sears Tower, the Eiffel Tower, or another 'target' building, one that stands as a symbol as much as these buildings do? Every day? I don't know if I could.

DVD Wrap-Up

2006-09-06T06:21:00.000-07:00

We watched a few DVDs over Labor Day weekend...OK, just two. We watched disc one, season one, of "Weeds", and an indie film titled "Duma".

I'm sure some of you fancy-pants folks have cable systems that allow you to have Showtime and HBO for less than $100 a month, or you have a dish, which we can't get because of our tree situation, so you have been watching Weeds since it came out. I'm also sure that there are those amongst you who didn't pretty much have it confused in your head with Deadwood, so you were ahead of me there, too. Being not into the whole western genre, I've never really considered renting either Deadwood, or its doppleganger (NOT), Weeds. Then I read about what a great show it is, and decided, Hmmm. That's NOT about cowboys? Not so much shoot-em-up? OK, I'm in. Having just finished the first disc, I have mixed feelings about the show. I love Mary Louise Parker, always have, I would have been her lesbian lover in Fried Green Tomatoes, except, damn it all, I'm not Mary Stuart Masterson. Damn. Anyway, love her. Love the writing. It's well done and interesting. Love the Elizabeth Perkins (one of my lookalikes) character, too, though what I love about her is how well she is written. I cannot claim to actually LIKE her. The abuse she puts her daughter through is painful. (Sidenote: The daughter, thankfully, is pretty damned resiliant. When mom finds daughter's stash of chocolate in her room, mom replaces said stash with chocolate laxitives, the outcome of which is daughter's painful new nickname at school, 'shit girl'. Nice. Well, daughter replaces mom's meds with Immodium, so now mom is blocked up and her gut is distended like a starving child in a Save the Children commercial, with all of the crap she's lugging around in there. Her husband calls it Karma. I call it poetic justice. Same thing.)

My main (and it's kind of the elephant in the room for me) problem with Weeds is that I just can't get past the idea that this woman is selling dope. Her husband died, there's not enough life insurance to keep them in the fancy-pants (what is it with that term? Twice in one post?) manner to which they've become accustomed, and her first solution to this is to sell dope? WTF? How does she expect to raise children with any character whatsoever? I mean, she could maybe, GET A JOB. Or, maybe MOVE to a SMALLER house? One without a housekeeper and a pool? I'm just sayin'. Not that it's nice to have a severe change in lifestyle due to the death of your beloved spouse, but how am I to have a lot of sympathy for this character when her first career move is to start selling dope? It's not working for me. That being said, the writing is good enough that I'm looking foward to disc two coming in a few days.

Monday, we had a pile of ironing to do, so I thought we would put in a nice family film that we could all watch together. I had read about Duma last year, and was looking for it in the local theaters. It either never made it here, or wasn't here long enough, so I put it on my DVD list. Though it was certainly family friendly, Maya has been scarred too deeply by 'family' films such as "March of the Penguins" and especially "Winged Migration", and wanted nothing to do with Duma. She loved "The Story of the Weeping Camel" though, so who knows with her. Anway, Ted and I watched and ironed, while Maya spent time doing homework, reading, drawing, and looking at 'Animal Crossing' websites on the computer.

Duma is the tale of a poor orphaned cheetah, resuced by a 10-year old boy and his father in South Africa. They take him home to their farm, and raise him, with the intention of releasing him to the wild as soon as he gets big enough to hopefully care for himself. As the time of his release approaches, the father becomes very ill, and the boy goes off on a journey with Duma, to release him just as they had planned. Carroll Ballard, who directed The Black Stallion and Fly Away Home, also directed this film. If you loved the cinemetography and the understated flavor of those films, you will also appreciate Duma. If you're a fan of the book, How it Was With Dooms, you may be surprised by the film. I won't ruin the film by going into all of the differences, but let me tell you, there are some KEY things that were changed for the film.

The boy, Alexander Michaletos, does a pretty amazing job, and the adults pretty much keep up. Highly recommended. I'm thinking of buying this one for my collection, though I don't know if Maya will ever watch it with us.

Next up, Super Troopers. We've had this one in our living room for quite awhile now...not sure why we rented it. I think one of Ted's coworkers suggested it. Anyone heard of it? Is it any good? Anyone?

Portland Restaurant Wrap Up

2006-09-05T07:07:00.000-07:00

Way back in November, when I started my adventure into this bloggy world, I had thought that I would mostly write about restaurants and maybe recipes, since I really like cooking and eating. ;-) That soon got to be pretty boring, however, so I moved on. Every once in awhile, however, I go to a restaurant, and I think, "I'd like to write a little review about that." So, while we were in Portland, we ate at several restaurants, and I kind of intended to write about them all. But now I'm thinking I'll just skip the places in Ashland and Eugene, and talk about the most memorable places we went.

Our first night in Portland, we went out walking, looking for a restaurant for dinner. The only place we walked by that looked pretty good was Thai food, I think, and seeing as how I had very recently suffered from food poisoning at PF Chang's, my stomach kind of went flippy floppy at the thought of Asian food of any kind. So we ended up eating at the hotel restaurant, which was a weird restaurant called Shula's. Don Shula was a big shot in the NFL, but since I know nothing about football, I didn't really care about that. Too bad, because the walls were covered with NFL memorabilia, and the menu was written on a football. They brought a football to your table. Kind of strange. Then, when they take your order, they bring out all of the different cuts of raw meat, so you can decide which one you want to eat. Again, strange. (The steaks were hygenically wrapped in plastic wrap, so the waitress could pick them up and show us.) I am a big lover of the tomato, so for my appetizer, I ordered beefsteak tomato and gorgonzola. It was HUGE. Also not so tasty. Bummer. The tomato was kind of watery and didn't have a lot of flavor. I'm also a fan of the Rib Eye, which at Shula's is called the Cowboy Steak, so I ordered that. It was pretty tasty, though maybe not as good as a few others I've had in my day. Really, I get tired of places where you pay $30 for your entree, and you have to pay extra for a baked potato. Not that I WANTED a baked potato, after working on that almost 2 lb steak and a tomato as big as my head, but I still have issues with the concept. Maybe it's my past at Mr. Steak, where the potato that cost the company a nickel didn't cost the customer any extra. Maya didn't eat much, just a few bites of my steak, mostly because when we arrived at the hotel, our room wasn't ready, so when we were finally able to go up, they sent her a huge bowl of ice cream, in addition to the candy bar they gave her while we waited.

My dad and step mom took us out for Lebanese food one night, at Ya Hala restaurant. We ordered the Mezza Combination, which is supposed to be for 4 people, but was plenty of food for all six of us. It included homous, baba ghanouj, tabouli, falafel, dolmas, makaly, labne, fatayer, shankleesh and vegetarian kibbeh, as well as lamb, chicken and kafta kabobs. I copied that from their online menu, so don't ask me what some of the lesser known dishes were, because I don't remember. ;) Everything was yummy, though, and the service was OK. Not great, not bad. But the food was really nice.

I think our best Portland meal was at a place called Jo Bar, on oh so trendy and cool 23rd St. in the NW part of town. Jo Bar is the sister restaurant to Papa Haydn, which is right next door, and also has another restaurant on the SE side of town. Papa Haydn is known for their fabulous desserts, a fact of which we were unaware at the time of our dinner. We just stopped in because I had eaten on 23rd street several times on past trips, and this place looked good. It was. VERY good. I had wild salmon over corn polenta. I know, corn polenta sounds somewhat redundant, but this was polenta with some corn kernels mixed in. Cherry has been trying to convince me for a few years now that polenta is actually quite tasty, but I have thus far been unimpressed. Even at the yummy Zax Tavern, the polenta is disgusting. Why, then, would I order a meal that clearly states it comes with polenta, right there on the menu? I don't know. I think part of me is hoping to find some polenta that I like. And, really, unless I'm starving, restaurants serve too much food, so if I don't like the polenta, it's no big deal, I just don't eat it. More room for dessert that way. ;) Well, the polenta I was served at Jo Bar was truly delicious. Creamy, smooth, not gloppy. Not fried and bitter tasting. Just yummy creamy goodness, with the sweetness and the texture of the corn kernels thrown in. Mmm. Cherry, I'm sorry. I'll never doubt you again. I'll even try your Brussels sprouts, if you want me to. It's been too long now, though, so I don't remember what Ted and Maya had for dinner, or even if we had any dessert. Maybe some sorbet? I don't THINK so. But the salmon was perfect, and the polenta was a revelation.

If you're ever in Portland, I'm going to suggest you check out Jo Bar (save some room for dessert, though) and also try Ya Hala. Mmmm.

Oh, and honorable mention goes to a very yummy deli in Portland, with two locations. It's called Elephants Delicatessen, and they have some very tasty treats. Their soup is killer, and Ted found that you can blend them together if you want. They made a blend for him that I think was 1/3 tomato-orange soup (too rich by itself) and 2/3 Italian veggie. The guy who rang him up said it was the best soup they have. Which made me wonder why they don't just offer it as one of the options? Anyway, it's a yummy secret, so you may want to check that out as well. :)

Enjoy eating Portland!

Curse You, Blogger!

2006-09-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

For not letting me in this morning, when I wanted to write all about how I had this crazy dream last night, when my (athiest) mother was guiding me all around Sacramento, feeding me pizza and telling me how important it is that Maya and I be baptized. (Ted was already baptized, so she's not worried about him. And the pizza? The only other option in this dream was Olive Garden. I wonder what that means?)

For all of you who, like me, are terribly bored and horrified to read about other peoples' dreams, I suggest you send a check to Blogger, because the 12 hours since I woke up this morning have deadened the experience a LOT. If blogger had let me in, let me write all about my dream this morning, it could have gone on for pages and pages. Thanks, Blogger!

Who Put the Labor in Labor Day?

2006-09-02T09:48:00.000-07:00

We did, that's who.

When I think of labor day, my mind first thinks of the end of summer...the crisp fall weather on the horizon, the cool weather clothes, school starting up again, the return of the good TV shows...

Then there are the Labor Day celebrations...one last bbq of summer, maybe a trip to the beach, the lake, or the shore...

For some people it is a chance to get caught up with some chores around the house, to enjoy a 3-day weekend by sleeping in one extra day, maybe see some friends.

I agree with all of these things. Not a thing wrong with any of them. But at the same time, it's a good time to remember what the heck Labor Day is...unlike our other holidays, like Veterans Day or Memorial Day, it doesn't commemorate war or those who fought for our freedoms. Unlike Christmas, Hanukkah, Diwali, and Easter, it doesn't commemorate any religious significance. Unlike Thanksgiving, it doesn't commemorate a coming together or the fall harvest, or the brief friendship between the pilgrims and the Native Americans.

Instead, Labor Day commemorates us...it commemorates the worker. People who get up every day and go to work, jobs that we love as well as jobs that we hate. Jobs that we do so that we can gain fulfillment, to make the world a better place, to provide a needed service, to simply pay the bills.

Labor day was created by the labor movement, and is dedicated to you and me, American workers. I know that many people have issues with the labor movement, do not like unions and what they represent. They claim that unions are corrupt and do very little to benefit workers, or that they make doing business too expensive for the employer. I would beg you to dig a little deeper, and look at what labor unions have given our country:

Eight-Hour Day

Five-Day Workweek

Health Insurance

Good Pensions

Paid Sick Leave

Fair Treatment for Women, People of Color and Workers with Disabilities

Higher Wages

Overtime Pay

Job Safety

Paid Holidays

Job Security

Severance Pay

Paid Vacations

Family and Medical Leave

So even if you have never belonged to a union in your life (I haven't), let's please stop for a moment this weekend, and thank the unions for what they have given to our country. Also, take a moment to recognize the strength and character of the American worker, upon whose back our economy and democracy rests.

And if, looking at that list, you see some items that don't apply to you, like a 40-hour work week, a pension, or fair treatment, remember that the labor movement is made up of people who have fought for these things, things that don't come easily, things that can easily be taken away from us. Fight for these things. Fight for what you believe in, and to make our country stronger.

Happy Labor Day, everyone!

I Need a Ticker

2006-09-01T07:14:00.000-07:00

Have you seen the blogs, where the blogger has a little ticker at the top, or in the sidebar, wherever, to keep track of how much weight they've lost, or counting down to an important event? Well, they have them for health and fitness, too, and for all sorts of interesting and odd things. I signed up for Black Belt Mama's challenge, but so far I haven't been doing so great...so here's what I need. I need a ticker to keep me honest, to remind me to:

Floss my teeth at least 6 days a week (because you don't have to floss all your teeth, just the ones you want to keep!)
Sit up straight (it's affecting my back, all of this slouching in front of the computer)
Do sit-ups (a stronger abdomen will support my back better)
Do 10 minutes of yoga a day (at least, to start some upper body strength and bone building)
Take my calcium supplements (again with the bones...my grandma broke her hip at 40*)
Do exercises to strengthen my quads, which will give better support to my bum knee. (I forget about the knee until we go somewhere with a lot of walking up and down hills..the ups are fine, but the downs are a killer)

*(My grandma also dieted excessively and smoked like a chimney, which surely contributed to the extremely early onset of her osteoporosis...but still)

Why is it so hard to do these things? None of them are difficult, or painful, or bad. They are just habits. And creating good habits, getting rid of bad habits, that, I think, is the key to good health.

Getting a bit more philosophical about this, I would argue that not only physical habits like sitting up straight (the slouching cost me $100 yesterday, for a deep tissue massage to alleviate the pain) and doing sit-ups, but also mental habits like maybe meditation, and at least getting rid of some of the negative thoughts that plague us, can help us to be happier, healthier people. If, when thinking of our body, we gave it credit instead of blame; if, when thinking of our relationships (not just spouse, but also parents, children, coworkers, friends), we give credit rather than blame...if we give ourselves credit, instead of blame, how much healthier we would be.

Is there a ticker for all that? Cause I need one.

Now please excuse me...I've done all on the list above, except the sit-ups. Time to get the 'exercise ball' out of storage, 'cause that ugly thing really helps.

Perfect Post Award

2006-09-01T07:06:00.000-07:00

I've decided to jump on the bandwagon and award a perfect post. My mom received a perfect post award last month, which was pretty impressive considering how new she is to this whole bloggy world, but not at all surprising when I consider her heart, warmth, and damned-smartness. The other place I've seen these awarded is over at Mom101, who is one of my biggest blog crushes. Love her. Her site is where I first heard of the concept, which originates with Mama K, the queen of Petroville.

The problem of course is, how to pick one perfect post out of so many wonderful submissions? Every day I go and read stories, poems, anectdotes that just reach right out and speak to me. So it's my first time doing this, and already I'm bending the rules. I'm giving TWO perfect post awards, to two pieces that really resonated, and were so beautifully written that I remembered them and wanted to share them with you.

The first award goes to Word Girl, over at Half of the Sky who tells a very sad tale about the death of her child's French teacher, and the community that came together for her to help her through her cancer treatment, and beyond.

The second award goes to the Kvetch at Kvetch Blog, who described her son's first day of High School in such a poingnant way, it made me feel happy for her, and sad for her, and for all of us whose children are growing up just a little bit faster than we're prepared to admit.

It turns out, however, that someone else also nominated the Kvetch post, and the powers that be only allow you to nominate ONE perfect post, so the site won't have my name by it as the nominator. Someone else will have that. But hey, she got nominated twice, right? That's pretty darned good.

Thanks, ladies, for sharing yourselves, and your talent, in these beautiful posts.

If you would like to read more perfect posts, you can find them at both Petroville and Suburban Turmoil. I've been perusing a few this morning, and some of them are really, really good. Amazing stuff. Go forth. Enjoy.

Historical Fiction

2006-08-31T06:26:00.000-07:00

Whilst in Portland, I read a short book titled "When the Emperor Was Divine", by Julie Otsuka. At only 144 pages, it is difficult to believe that this novel can cover the subject of the Japanese Internment during WWII so well, so evocatively.

I've never studied this chapter in American history, other than perhaps as a footnote to our study of WWII. Reading this book made me think of how effective a class would be that incorporated the dry facts of history with novels, which really open one's eyes and imaginations to the experiences of those people who were alive at a particular time and place. What if, for example, while studying the Civil War, we read The Red Badge of Courage as well as our text book? And during the study of the depression and the dust bowl, we read "The Grapes of Wrath"? Reading these books later on, after studying the events in school, really gave me a greater understanding of the time. I think that is one of the true gifts of literature.

Back to the book. It is told in 5 parts, in terse, matter-of-fact language. Each part of the story is told from a different point of view, from the various members of a Japanese-American family who were taken from Berkeley to live in an internment camp in Utah. Except the father, who is suspected of being a traitor and collaborating with the Japanese government...he is taken elsewhere, to Texas. The language is so sparse, so carefully constructed, we never even learn the names of the various family members. Yet, even without their names, we identify closely with them, and we come to a better understanding of this horrible time. (Side note...our dentist was in one of these internment camps as a child, grew up and joined the military...but we haven't talked about it beyond that. It would be an interesting story to hear.)

From the book, on that period of readjustment after returning to their home in Berkeley:

We looked at ourselves in the mirror and did not like what we saw: black hair, yellow skin, slanted eyes. The cruel face of the enemy.
We were guilty.
Just put it behind you.
No good.
Let it go.
A dangerous people.
You're free now.
Who could never be trusted again.
All you have to do is behave.
On the street we tried to avoid our own reflections wherever we could. We turned away from shiny surfaces and storefront windows. We ignored the passing glances of strangers. What kind of "ese" are you, Japanese or Chinese?

I highly recommend this book. It's pretty amazing stuff.

Next in line, after I finish Mrs. Blackwell's memoir, is another book of historical fiction, which I picked up in Portland. It's called The Jump Off Creek, and it's the story of a widow who leaves the Midwest to settle in the mountains of Oregon in the 1890s. That would be an interesting read while studying westward expansion, don't you think?

Heads Up

2006-08-30T06:49:00.000-07:00

I've told you once before about my cousin, Tony, who is in prison, convicted of a murder that, tragically, he did commit. Tony has been in prison now for just over 30 years, and is a very different person than he was back then.

Tony's mom, my Aunt Lori, recently began reading my blog, and had emailed me to ask if I might print and mail Tony the 3 part story about when I met my father for the first time. I did so, and wrote him a letter as well. Upon returning from our vacation in Oregon last Monday, I found a letter from Tony, including some lovely pictures of his wife, children, and grandchildren. I was so happy to receive it. In his letter, Tony told me that he also has a blog, that is posted on a website that his wife maintains, www.prisoners.org. Since Tony doesn't have internet access, has never actually been online, I'm guessing that he writes his posts out, and mails them to his wife, and she transcribes them into the computer and online for him. If you have the stomach to learn a bit about what life is like in prison, check out his blog. (It's not a fancy blog, just a button with the year, and you click it and go directly to his posts.) I think it's important that we understand the criminal justice system, and the repercussions of our treatment of prisoners. Whether we agree with the treatment they receive or not, it's not a bad idea to at least pay attention.

In that same vein, I'm going to be checking out the season finale of 30 days tonight. Remember the guy who ate nothing but McDonalds for 30 days, and then made the movie, Supersize Me about his experiences? Well, he has a TV show that is just wrapping its second season, and tonight's episode is about his 30 days in prison. That's one day for every year that Tony has spent behind bars. I hate to think of him there; hate to think of this being the rest of his life; hate to think of the life that he carelessly took from another man, and another man's family, way back when. The waste of it all, it's just too much. I hope I can stand it.

Nietzsche

2006-08-30T06:32:00.000-07:00

For those of you who read my blog, but maybe not Ted's or Lura's, I'm sorry to tell you that I lost my dog-in-law on Tuesday. (that sounds like she was my dog...she was my mother-in-law's dog, but not her dog-in-law, or Ted's dog-in-law, so that's why I phrased it that way.) Nietzsche was a very good girl, the kind of dog who you dog-sit, and then think, "hmmm....maybe we should get a dog," which is how we ended up with Genevieve.

Nietzsche, you will be dearly missed. You're such a good girl, and I'm so sorry that we didn't get to say good bye to you. Don't worry, either there are no balloons in doggy heaven, or you aren't afraid of them anymore.

Domo Arigato

2006-08-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

I'm sleepy today. I'm kinda thinking that I would like to climb back in bed and have a nap. Working from home, with my 'office' in my bedroom, doesn't help matters any. Being stuck on my project and sitting here waiting for a coworker to get back to me with some info doesn't help so much, either. So, while I wait, I'll fill my time by telling you about the concert that Ted and I went to last night. You'll get his side on his blog, which will be full of interesting information about the band and all kinds of cool tidbits, I'm sure, so I'm going to be really lazy in my write up, OK? That way (hopefully) it won't feel like you're reading the same post twice, if you check out both posts.

Ted and his coworker, C-Lo, got free tickets to go see Styx at Wente Vinyards last night. Not only did they get free tickets, they also got backstage passes. How cool were we, running around with our little back stage passes? Very cool, THAT's how cool.

I've been to Wente once before, for a wine auction, which was very pretentious and boring, and they served us fois gras and veal steaks, which was pretty damned gross. Last night's concert came with dinner, and I was a little bit frightened that there may be some grossness served up. Happily, this was not the case. There was a big, beautiful buffet, with yummies for all, carnivore and herbivore alike. That was good sign number 1. Good sign number 2 was that you could get pretty decent wine (Wente, of course) to go along with your meal. Excellent. And can I say, for the over 35 set, Wente is definitely the place to go see a concert. Everyone is sitting at their tables, full of yummy food and wine, comfy and relaxed in a very pretty setting. Not the place to see U2 or anything, but it really was a very nice venue.

The bad news is that a backstage pass means you get to go back stage...you know, physically behind the stage. It does NOT mean that you get to go hang out with the band. Why anyone would want to go hang out and look at the band's instruments is pretty much beyond me, so I'm not sure what use a backstage pass is supposed to be. We did get to meet one of the members of the band before the concert, and it was pretty cute, because he was telling his dad to enjoy the show. Hey, rock stars have families, too! Who knew? So we thought we would get to meet the rest of the band at a little 'meet and greet' before the show, but apparently, "Styx doesn't DO meet and greets." Whatever. So we went back to our seats and had some more wine.

I have to tell you, though, that contrary to popular belief, I have never been to a concert with a buzz before. This was my first time, and since we had 3 bottles of wine between the four of us, I was a little buzzed. It was great. If you're going to go see a band with a bit of a buzz going, Styx is the perfect choice. They are just so....campy. They had a revolving platform holding the keyboard and the keyboard player, who also did the campiest of the Dennis DeYoung songs. At one point, after C-Lo and her partner-in-crime, J-Lo, had bowed out for the evening, they performed "Come Sail Away" (which is actually a different song than "Sailing" by Christopher Cross, in case you didn't know that...), the campy keyboard player with the pants so tight you could see his butt crack from WAY back jumped up onto the top of the keyboard, then over on top of the drums. Boy, he had a lot of energy. I have to admit, it was great.

Here's what I noticed, besides the fact that C-Lo was TOTALLY in love with that keyboard guy....when I knew a song, I was singing along, happy as could be. C-Lo would play keyboards on my leg to the song-intros, and I belted out "Too much time on my hands" with the best of them. But if it was a song I didn't know, or didn't care about, I was thinking, "Hmmmm...what should I pack in Maya's lunch tomorrow?" Ever have one of those moments?

Anyway, it was a great evening, and I'm totally not doing it justice. I hope Ted is feeling a bit more chipper this morning (I got up at 6 to do the school thing, and he got to be the one to sleep in, for a change, since he usually gets up at 4:00), so his post will have more details, like maybe the actual names of the band members, some of the songs played, that kind of thing. Me? That bed is looking pretty darned good right about now.

Oh, and those passes (plus the fact that Ted & C-Lo had interviewed JY a few months ago) finally paid off, and we got to meet JY after the show and snap a picture with him.

While we were talking to JY (I'm not sure why he goes by that instead of James Young, but I'll play along...) Ted teasingly told him that I was very disappointed that they didn't play "The Best of Times", and JY didn't even seem annoyed. I mean, he could have said, "I got you people tickets AND dinner, and played my heart out for you, and you just complain to me?" He could have, but he didn't. Whew. He just gave a stock answer about how they only have so much time, and they have SO many songs. He even apologized to me. But I'll tell you, it almost ruined my night to not hear them play that song for me. FOR ME. Luckily, Ted is good that way, and he called the radio station and requested that they play the song for me on the way home. So I got to sing along after all...

The best of times are when I'm alone with you
Some rain, some shine, we'll make this a world for two
Our memories of yesterday will last a lifetime
We'll take the best, forget the rest and someday we'll find
These are the best of times
These are the best of times

Don't even TRY to tell me you're not jealous.

Oh...a big shout out to Eric and Cherry, who came and stayed with Maya for the evening, so we could go out and have fun...THANKS! You guys ROCK!

Happy Birthday Cherry!

2006-08-29T06:29:00.000-07:00

Today is my dear friend Cherry's birthday! Happy Birthday, Missy!

Cherry is a wonderful, giving, (too) hard working, friend. She loves to cook for her friends, go out with her friends, hang out with her friends, whatever...just bless us all with her company. Thanks, Cherry, for being the wonderful person that you are.

Now, if you look at Cherry's post today, you'll see that we celebrated Cherry's birthday in style on Sunday at Fenton's Creamery in Oakland, where the smallest ice cream they serve is still as big as your head. Maya and Jackie shared a 3 lb. banana split...(she has the 'before' photo on her post)

But they finally had to admit defeat and go watch more ice cream being made in the 'factory' part of the restaurant.

Cherry, you are a wonderful friend, one who gives so much joy and fun to your friends and family. I feel very fortunate to have met you, and am proud to count you as my friend. Happy Birthday!

(Today will be a two post Tuesday...I have to write a few things about the concert I went to last night...but first I have to do some work and get the kid to school, etc. So come back later, OK?)

Our Amazing Dinner

2006-08-28T06:42:00.000-07:00

Friday evening, Ted, Maya and I were invited to dinner with our friends, Pat and Beatrice, and their friend, Unita Blackwell. If any of my 5 daily readers are familiar with the civil rights movement of the 1960s, specifically the voters rights movement in the south, you may have heard of Mrs. Blackwell. I am not terribly familiar with that movement, though I admire the hell out of it, and I see a strong correlation between the struggles of the black people in the south, and their success, and the struggles of women and gays, as well as the anti-war movement. So to meet a pioneer in this movement is indeed a special treat.

Mrs. Blackwell has a new book out, detailing her rise from a sharecropper on a plantation in the Mississippi Delta, through the voter rights movement, to being the first female black mayor in the State of Mississippi. She traveled to China over 20 times working to normalize relations, and has received a Macarthur genius grant. In 1979, she participated in President Jimmy Carter's Energy Summit at Camp David. She later received a bachelors degree from Harvard, and her master's degree in regional planning from the University of Massachusetts-Amherst. Her accomplishments are many and great.

My dad was involved in both the civil rights movement and the anti-war movement of the 1960s. I bought him Mrs. Blackwell's book for his birthday a few weeks ago, and then borrowed it from him while we were in Oregon. I borrowed it so that I could read it, but also so that Ted could read it, because he wanted to interview her for his public relations radio program. I brought the book with us on Friday, so Mrs. Blackwell could sign it for my dad. :)

Overall, we had a lovely evening. Mrs. Blackwell told us stories from the 50s and 60s, and what it meant to be a black person in the South back then. How her grandfather was murdered in the cotton field for merely stating that he was innocent of something which he had been unjustly accused of, but he dared to talk back to a white man. How the white townspeople of her small community banded together to intimidate and harass the black townspeople, and thus keep them from registering to vote. How, with the help of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, she became involved in the movement to register black voters, and thus began her career in politics. Years later, she became the mayor of her small town (as she put it, "We'd be lucky if there are 500 people there"), and worked to incorporate the town and bring basic services like running water to the people there.

The most amazing thing, to me, was how open she is, how un-cynical, not bitter in the least. I don't know if I would have that grace. She appears to look things head on and to see them clearly, to see both the evil and the good in the world, and to retain her ability to keep the two distinctly separate. She is an amazing woman, one who has lived through an amazing period in human history - a time of pain and terror, and a time when Americans were learning the power of non-violent resistance. It was amazing to speak to her, and to hear how down to earth and genuinely friendly she is. We had a wonderful time talking to her.

And, by the way, the other company wasn't shabby either. We always enjoy seeing Pat and Beatrice, and it doesn't hurt that they are both generous and wonderful cooks. The food was delicious (pasta with homemade tomato sauce, wine, sliced tomatoes with basil, wine, bread, more wine, and homemade chocolate mousse.) Thanks Pat and Beatrice, for inviting us to your home, and including us in this wonderful evening. You ROCK!

Sunday Morning Thoughts...

2006-08-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

I just got up, looking at a few blogs, and the first two I came to had some interesting coincidences...

1st, my mom's blog talked about the sexualization of children, about how dressing young girls in adult's clothing, and visa versa, is dangerous because it sends very confusing messages to the world. This reminded me of when I was a girl, and I wanted to get my ears pierced...I wasn't allowed, because my mom said that earrings were a symbol of being a certain age and maturity, and so I didn't get them done until I was 16. I've put a lot of thought into when to allow Maya to have her ears pierced. I understand my mom's point when I was young, but I also look at a lot of other cultures besides our admittedly WASPy one, and so many cultures pierce ears at a very young age. Mexico, India, Italy, etc. So, I decided awhile ago that if Maya wanted to have her ears pierced, I would allow it. Thursday, she decided she wanted to have it done. Ted wasn't sure about this, he was thinking maybe she's too young, so he did a poll at work, and pretty much everyone had had their ears pierced when they were very young, and it was no big deal to any of them. So, yesterday, Maya got her ears pierced.

2nd, Black Belt Mama has put up a fitness challenge. It's a reasonable one, and also one with pretty decent timing...I went to my annual physical a few weeks ago, and Maya went to hers last week, and they both talked about getting enough calcium in your diet. In addition to that, when we were on vacation, I was talking to my step mom about weight bearing exercise, and how I would like to do some yoga at home to build my bone density, but I find it hard to make time for a one hour session, esp. since I also walk a couple of miles on most days, and I have a full time job, child, house, blog, etc. She said, don't try to do an hour of yoga a day. Do 10 minutes. Do some stretches, and then some downward facing dog and plank pose, and you'll be doing those bones a big favor. So, in response to BBM's challenge, I am going to start taking calcium supplements again, and do 10 minutes of yoga a day, both with the goal of toning and getting my body ready for menopause. Which isn't tomorrow or anything, but hey, I'm 40, and the sooner I get ready, the better off I'll be when the time comes.

My other thoughts so far are more in the category of, "why is it that I take my contact lenses out at night, and THEN go looking for my glasses?" I'm pretty blind, and um, that's not so smart. And, "Is there grape kool-aid in my new face cream? Kinda smells like it." And, I think I need to start wearing my mouth guard, because the whole left side of my face hurts again, which is what happens when I grind my teeth. And, "hmm...I went to the farmers market yesterday and got some nice tomatoes for bruschetta...wonder if I have time today to go get some more and make a nice pasta sauce?" I have to get school supplies for Maya, take her to the mall (she wants a back to school outfit for tomorrow) go to the grocery store for food, and celebrate a birthday tonight over ice cream (so superior to cake!) So, I think I'll get started, and leave this blogging business behind me for now. Happy Sunday!

Saturday Meme

2006-08-26T09:42:00.000-07:00

Leave it to Jay to tag me for a good one. I'm not sure what happened to #9, though. You can listen to the Beatles in your head if you want to. (OK, if that's a confusing reference, think of John Lennon saying, "number 9....number 9.....number 9...." I know...I'm lame.)

1. Things that scare me:
Global Warming
Religious Fanatics
The thought of losing my family

2. People who make me laugh:
Autumn's Mom
Ted
Neva

3. Things I hate the most:
Politics and the way they work
Liver and onions
People who harm children

4. Things I don't understand:
Foreign languages (unfortunately)
The "isms" - Racism, Sexism, Ageism, Fatism (is that a word?), Defeatism
Fear of a great gay conspiracy

5. Things I'm doing right now:
Blogging
Getting ready to take a shower
Thinking about the amazing dinner I had last night

6. Things I want to do before I die:
Learn to ride a horse well
Hold a grandchild of mine (no rush!)
Travel a lot more

7. Things I can do:
Cook yummy food
Choose good friends
Be a good mother

8. Things I can't do:
Play an instrument
Let go of old friendships (in my heart)
Sing well

10. Things I think you should listen to:
Your conscience/heart
Music
Good advice

11.Things you should never listen to:
Drug dealers
Mean gossip
People who say there's something wrong with you because of who you are.

12. Things I'd like to learn:
To ride a horse well
To let go of things I cannot change
To relax more

13. Favorite foods:
Thanh Long crab
Chips/Cheetos
Good wine

14. Beverages I drink regularly:
Diet Coke
Chardonnay
Water

15. Shows I watched as a kid:
Land of the Lost
The Brady Bunch
Monty Python's Flying Circus

16. People I'm tagging (to do this meme):
Gina
Cherry
Maya's Granny

And if you want to play anyway, even if you weren't tagged, please do. It's fresh, it's easy, and it's fun!

Thanks Jay!

It's The End of The World As We Know It....

2006-08-25T06:45:00.000-07:00

Oh God, the day has come...We are truly in the final days, the days of apocalypse...and what proof do I have, you may well ask? Well, I'm truly ashamed, but within the span of one week, 1 WEEK I tell you, I have found myself agreeing with both George W. Bush AND She Who Must Not Be Named.

Before you pass out, or rush to have me committed to a mental institution (which, truly, I beg you to do should I ever TRULY agree with these spawn of Satan), allow me to say that I only agreed conditionally...

1st, on Monday, we were having breakfast at our hotel in Ashland, and they had the TV on to Bush's press conference...and he was talking about how we cannot just "cut and run" like the Democrats suggest, in our departure from Iraq. And I agree with that. As always, though, I have issues. 1st issue...WHY ARE WE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Because W. lied to us about the weapons of mass destruction. Because he scared the hell out of Americans, to the point where many people thought, I sure as hell don't want to be nuked by that psycho Saddam, and he will clearly do that to his own people (or at least gas people who he is supposed to support, his countrymen, the Kurds), so why wouldn't he do that to us, who bombed the hell out of his country when our current president's daddy was in office? The problem, of course, is that Saddam didn't have that capability, and anyone who spent a bit of time looking into it could see that. At the same time we were considering attacking Iraq, though, we needed to be thinking about what if...what if we DO get into this war, what are the repercussions? What will happen there, and here, because of it? W. and his camp told us that the Iraqis would welcome our soldiers with flowers, democracy would prevail, and all would be well in the world. Has anyone else noticed that happening? Because me? Not so much. Now, I will admit to having a B.A. in International Relations, so maybe I'm savvy or something, but it sure seemed to me that a HELL of a lot of people outside of my IR cohort were saying, "This really ISN'T a good idea", and "This will start a civil war", and "Once we're in there, it's going to be REALLY hard to get out cleanly", and "If you think the radical muslims hate us now, just WAIT and see what kind of crap you're stirring up with this one." I'd like to take credit for being some kind of diplomacy genius here, but really, I'm not, and a LOT of people were saying that this looked a lot like Viet Nam in that is was going to be a quagmire, a situation from which it would be VERY difficult to extricate ourselves. So it' s not just me. BUT, how many DEMOCRATIC congresspeople voted FOR this war, either because they were fooled by the rhetoric, or they were afraid that their constituents were too afraid of the rhetoric, or because they were afraid of being called afraid...afraid of being called traitors...so they didn't stand up and say, "wait....slow down...let's be sure this is right..." No, they voted for it. And now, they want to pull out, go home, and leave the people in Iraq to stew in this mess, to allow the terrorists to take over Iraq and continue to make it a hotbed for Al Qaida. Because Americans are sick of a war that we never should have started. Great. Now who am I supposed to vote for, if the Dems are fucking up this badly, and have been for years? It's not too late. Make a plan, not short range, not based on the November elections, but based on what really needs to happen. Which, unfortunately enough, is that we need to start talking to Iran and Syria about not going in and trying to divide this country up into fun little pieces. About actually negotiating with people that we don't like, in order to avoid a LOT more pain in the long run. Fun? No. But I'm hoping you didn't get into politics for the parties and beer. GROW A SPINE PEOPLE.

Ahem.

2nd, tonight, (last night by the time this is posted, but tonight when I wrote it...I know, I sometimes write the night before, but wait to post in the vein hope of getting just a FEW more comments on a previous post...DAMN you lurkers...you task me so!) I've had a glass or two of wine, and I'm getting ready for bed...I finished watching "Mona Lisa Smile" (pretty good...I'm a closet Julie Roberts fan...I know it's not cool) on FX, and I'm flipping the channels around. Who do I see? She who must not be named. She who injects herself with her own urine to stay painfully thin. She whose spit provides anti-venom for bites from rattlesnakes. And what is she saying? She's talking about the Democrats, and how if history is correct, they will take over the Congress in November...about how they are talking about how they want to shut down Guantonimo, but will not provide a reasonable plan to do so. AMEN. I disagree with her premise, which is that it should stay open, that the patriot act should stay in tact, and that it is a reasonable reaction to the attacks of September 11th. But should we discuss HOW to do these things in a responsible manner? Yes. Are we? Not that I have seen. She also mentioned that the CIA and the FBI were not allowed to have much contact before the Patriot Act, before September 11th, which was part of our problem. I'd sure as hell hate to start quoting HER for my facts, but actually, that sounds kind of familiar and true, and also, really really wrong. Maybe that part of the act can stay.

So you see? Numbers 1 and 2 on my list of people whom I would most LOVE to crap upon, maybe after eating a pint or two of cherries, and here, I find myself agreeing with them, albeit VERY conditionally. I think I need a shower. Anyone see Silkwood? One of those showers.

Oh, and while we're talking about politics, I had a thought the other day that chilled me to the bones and made me want to climb back under the covers. My mom has been saying for quite awhile now that W. and his bunch are all for trouble in the Middle East because it is one of the signs of the 'end of days', and they are working to bring about the Second Coming of Christ so they can be saved. So...what if the ecology is the same thing? What if that's part (not all, because, duh, GREED seems to be a mighty big factor) of the reason that they won't get behind the fight against global warming? What if storms like Katrina and weather like 115 in the Bay Area and all of that are just portents of their salvation? You have all of eternity, people, can't you just wait until you die or something? I think I need another shower. Or a drink. Or a drink in the shower. Want to come with?

Uh Oh...

2006-08-25T06:25:00.000-07:00

I just saw this article. If signed, children under 8 need to ride in a booster seat, and children under 12 need to ride in the back seat. What's the big deal? Well, Maya's been riding in the front seat for a little while now...the Volvo doesn't have any airbags (too old), and on the Camry, we have the passenger seat pushed all of the way back. Ted reasoned that many small adults are in the front seat, so she would be OK. I read some reports that said that there is no proof that kids who have been harmed by passenger side airbags in the front seat were 'properly restrained', meaning, they weren't wearing their seat belts. Maya ALWAYS wears her seat belt. To be honest, I've never been completely thrilled about her riding in the front seat. But to legislate it, and give us a ticket if she rides in the front? Ugh. I'm not so sure about this.

Ode to Forest Park

2006-08-24T07:02:00.000-07:00

When we go to Portland, Maya's favorite thing to do is to hike in Forest Park. She told me that Forest Park is her favorite place on earth. This most recent trip was no exception, and happily, Ted was able to join us this time, and I think he may be hooked as well. For Maya and I to enjoy hiking is definitely saying something, because we are two girls who do NOT like to get hot and sweaty. Sadly, there is almost no way to hike around here without getting hot and sweaty, because there are simply not enough trees to keep you shaded. So the sun is beating down on you, and instead of marveling at nature and enjoying ourselves, we're cranky and want to go home. Not so much fun to be around. In Forest Park, which is about a block from where we stayed in Portland, you can hike for hours and hours without ever feeling the cruel rays of the sun beating down on your head. The canopy of old growth forest is beautiful and soothing. You cross paths with fellow hikers, runners, and lots of dogs. We love it.

This is the Stone House. Looks kind of like something from Blair Witch (well, not really, but kind of...), but it's just an old bathroom structure that succommed to fire in the 60s.

It used to be that while hiking in Forest Park, Maya and I would play role playing games. On one trip, Maya had recently finished the Catwings books by Ursula K. Le Guin (who lives in that same neighborhood, coincidentally). So we played Catwings. She was Jane, and I was usually a woman who finds her, though sometimes I was one of her brothers or sisters. On another trip, Maya was very into Buffy the Vampire Slayer (not sure where she picked THAT up) (wink wink), so we would play Buffy. That usually involved lots of vampires getting 'dusted', along with cool sound effects. (Thank goodness 90210 was off the air before these roll playing games started...I would hate to have to play Steve to her Kelly or something...since Steve only had two emotions..."I'm rich and I'm about to get some" or, "Oh crap, I think I have anal herpes"... I'm not sure I could have pulled that off well...)On our most recent trip, however, I discovered that Maya seems to have outgrown this kind of roleplaying. Instead, she enjoyed imagining what Forest Park would have looked like millions of years ago, in the time of the dinosaurs. She imagined what trees would have been there back then, which dinosaurs would fit in well with the foliage, that kind of thing. She imagined tiny liptiptidium (that's my pathetic phonetic spelling of what she's saying...I have no idea how to spell it correctly, but it's one of our (very) early ancestors, an early mammal that lived in the time of the birds, I think...I'm not terribly well versed in this stuff...) eeking out a living among the underbrush. She loved it.
There are many, many things to love about Portland. That much of my family lives there is a big one. That it is a big city with diversity and liberal ideas is another. That they have the best bookstore ever, and a lot of truly wonderful restaurants is yet another. They have a thriving music scene, and seem to have a lot of artists and creative people. The housing is (comparatively) affordable. A great city. And still, were we ever to move there, I have to say that I would try very hard to be able to afford a house within walking distance of Forest Park, because it may indeed be the best part of Portland.

Happy (Belated) Birthday, Sesame Street

2006-08-23T08:23:00.000-07:00

I have a couple of Portland related posts in mind...one is about the yummy and not-so-yummy restaurants we went to, one about books I read or bought there...one about the beautiful world of Forest Park. But I had to stop and do this, because Issa and Mom-101 did it several days ago, and it will soon be too late to jump on the bandwagon. Stupid vacation.

So, this started on Mrs. Davis's blog, where she talked about popular culture influences you had as a child, due to the new season of Sesame Street starting on August 14th. She gave out a bunch of linky love on the 14th, but I was relaxing in Portland that day, and didn't do any REAL blogging, so I'm just behind as all get out. But I don't care. I'll play anyway. ;) I will tell you my favorites in a minute, but first I must take a moment to insert this picture of Maya at her surprise birthday party in Oregon last year, when she was turning 9.

This is Maya and my dad. My sister bought her "Where the Sidewalk Ends", which they have at Maya's school, but she didn't yet have at home. She stopped opening gifts for something close to 20 minutes, reading us poems and cracking up about her favorite ones. I was just amazed. I mean, for a 2 or 3 year old to get distracted by a gift and ignore the pile in front of them is one thing. For a 9 year old, I think it's another. So, if you don't have this book for your kids/nieces/nephews yet, get yourself to a local bookstore, and buy it quickly. :) They'll love you for it.

Another book to show her love of reading, is from when she was 2 years old. Her favorite book was Madeline's Rescue. She had it memorized, and would "read" it to herself, including French Accents for the speaking parts. Very cute. The time this picture was taken, she had fallen asleep reading. I've fallen asleep reading many a time, but I don't think the book has ever ended up on my face. :)

Now, to the meat of the post, Mrs. Davis's question:

What television, music, movie or book from your childhood are you excited about sharing with your own child?

When I was very small, I LOVED the Animal World of Thornton Burgess. I believe it is a collection of Old Mother West Wind stories, and it was given to me by my mom's friend, Kate, who signed it, "Aunt Katie". Growing up, I always thought I had a long lost aunt out there. :) She's not lost anymore, thanks to Classmates.com and a little bit of searching. She's even blogging, hers is "Hugging Aspens" on my blogroll. Anyway, I loved this book, loved the pictures, and I still have it in my collection. Am I excited about sharing this with Maya? When she was a bit younger, yes. At this point, I think she's outgrown a lot of these stories. But my mom bought them all for her, so she can read them anytime she wants to.

Another favorite of mine was Little Toot. I'm not sure what it was about that little tugboat, but I loved it, and if it weren't for the wisdom of my older brother, poor Samantha would have been named "Little Toot".

When I was 9, my mom thought I might like to read Farmer Boy, because of my love for horses. Thus began my love for the "Little House" books, and my interest in Laura Ingalls Wilder (I have several biographies of her...). I still use her books as a kind of barometer for life, which I'm sure is horribly annoying.

Next, my mom suggested I might like The Horse and His Boy, again, because I was one of those girls who LOVED horses. I fell in love with all of the Narnia books, and I still read them periodically. Maya has read most of them at school, and she really liked them a lot. Maybe not as much as I did, but a lot.

Last but not least, A Wrinkle In Time. Maya has already read this, and she really liked it a lot. I loved all of the Madeline L'Engle books...they showed me a world where families ate dinner together, cared for each other, fought for each other and for what was right. They were strong and sometimes conflicted. I loved that. In many ways it mirrored our own family, which a lot of pre-teen books do not. I mean, Beverly Cleary wrote about strong families, somewhat, but they were a different breed. The pre-teen books so often are 'issue' books, where the kids are basically trying to get away from their families. So it was nice to read some books where family was the haven. Then there was the science...which was so clear and poetic in L'Engle's hands. Love it.

TV Shows...well, Maya loved Sesame Street when she was little, especially Elmo. But for shows that I would love to share with her, she's kind of old for any of the shows I watched as a kid, except maybe the Muppet Show, which is ageless, or the Brady Bunch. :)

Music...I loved 2 albums growing up. I loved Free To Be, You And Me, which Maya has on CD, and now listens to sometimes. Not as often as I did, but she also has cable TV, 5 magazine subscriptions, a ton of books, and a Nintendo DS. The other album I loved was a record I would walk over to the library and listen to just about every day. It was people talking about the habits of wolves on one side, and the other side was wolf songs, and wolf pups. I couldn't get enough of that record. I don't know that Maya would be interested, though she is certainly interested in wolves. But she has DVDs and things that we didn't have back in the mid-70s. :)

So that's my list. Not very 'cool' stuff to be into, I suppose, but boy, these were the books and records that I most identify with my childhood. As Maya gets older, I look forward to sharing other books with her...but she's really old enough now for pretty much any 'kids' type book.

Convoluted Vacation Wrap Up

2006-08-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

(This is Mt. Shasta, taken on the way home yesterday)

Hello Bloggy Blog Blog Blog, I've missed you so. I've posted, sure, but it's not the same as actually writing something NEW, and I haven't been reading my friends' blogs, and I haven't been commenting, and boy, I have a LOT of catching up to do.

Let me start by saying, I'm still Biff, because I'm thinking...One Week Ago Right Now...I was getting ready to go to Seattle...on vacation. Sigh. So, today I'll tell you what we did on our vacation to the Pacific Northwest. (Mostly Portland.) We left home and drove to Ashland, where we hoped to see a play, but we got a bit of a late start, and it being a Saturday in summertime, it may not have mattered anyway, because they were sold out. No worries. We went to dinner, and walked around a bit. I really like the feel of Ashland...it's such a pretty town. I do wonder if the locals get truly SICK of being such a tourist town, though, because aside from the college, I don't see any other real employer around there. Sunday after breakfast, we went to the Elizabethan theater so we could show it to Maya. She studied several Shakespearean plays last year, and they have a reproduction of the Globe theater there that's pretty cool. I wonder if the one in Orinda is as nice?

From Ashland, we drove up to Portland, where we checked into a beautiful hotel. Ted had booked a suite for us, so Maya would have her own bedroom, which was GREAT. We walked around downtown a bit, went to dinner (Shula's Steakhouse, but that's another post...) and went to bed. Monday we went to visit my sister, nephew, and new niece. :) Yay! New baby! She was so cute and wonderful, and my nephew has grown SO much since we saw him last. It was great to see how much he enjoyed having a big cousin to play with. :)

After visiting with them awhile, and stopping by my step-mom's yoga studio for a short visit there, we went to meet the family whose house we would be watching for the rest of our Portland stay. Wow, what a house. This place was HUGE. And beautiful. Probably built in the late 1800s or early 1900s, it was 3 stories, had 6 bedrooms and a yard that took Ted about an hour to an hour and a half to water. It was great. We did decide, though, that really, that's too big of a house for us. I could have happily lived with about half of that house. Then, it's built on a hill, so from the street level, it looks even MORE imposing.

Check out the size of the front door!

Happily, there is a less imposing back door, which also doesn't involve going up two flights of stairs to access. :) The best thing about the house, though, is how close it is to my dad and stepmom's house. Here's a picture from the upstairs window of the house we were sitting...you can see dad's house at the top of the hill there, with the upstairs windows open. It was GREAT.

The house sitting gig also came with a dog, to help keep us from pining away for Genevieve. So we watched Tilly, a young golden retriever, who was a lot of fun. :)

Tuesday, we took a train from Portland up to Seattle, because Ted really wanted to see the Experience Music Project there. That gave us a chance to see my niece Chloe, who is almost 2, and her daddy. :) She was VERY cute. Maya is named for my sister, Maya, who is Chloe's mom. So Chloe called Maya, "Cousin Mommy". Way too cute.

The rest of our stay was taken up with visiting family, walking in Forest Park, eating yummy food, and just relaxing. I took a yoga class with my step mom that was level 2 Iyengar, whereas I'm level 1 whatever, and it kicked my butt. It was GREAT though. If you want to take yoga in Portland, you gotta go see her. :)

We went to visit my Grandma, who is suffering from Altzheimer's disease. She was doing better than I expected, which was a relief to see. Maya and her Grammy (my stepmom) went to a toy museum one afternoon.

We got to celebrate my nephew's 3rd birthday.
There was cake involved.

Overall, it was a great vacation, one that I could write about in boring detail for you all, or I could just say that it ended WAY too soon. The best part was just relaxing, seeing family, spending time there, getting to know the city a little bit better. Portland really is a beautiful city. Wish we had another week there. That would have been great.

Did Anyone Else LOVE This Show?

2006-08-18T08:32:00.000-07:00

Boy, I used to love to watch "Land of the Lost" when I was 8 or 9...Saturday morning cheezy crap TV at its finest! I loved Holly, kind of wanted to be her.

Loved Cha-ka (Who, by the way, was NOT played by a member of the group, Sugar Ray, at least according to this article. I know, you're crushed. I happen to have it on good authority that Ted's friend's Matt's Wife's exboyfriend, the actor, was Cha-ka. And I'm totally kidding there. That's an inside joke that only Ted will get, because his friend and friend's wife don't read my blog.)

The Sleestack were TOO SCARY (OK, even then they weren't scary...just lame and really slow...but what about that ingenious time machine thing with the crystals? Anyone else think the Superman movie TOTALLY ripped them off there?)

And those pesky darned dinosaurs. What's not to love there? They never seemed to do any REAL damage, did they.

OK, that was probably my lamest post EVER. Sorry everyone. This is the last canned post, so all fresh and new from now on. Back Monday or Tuesday with some real posts and pictures of our vacation.

The Food Meme

2006-08-16T19:03:00.000-07:00

We're having a wonderful time in Oregon...spending time with family and relaxing. :) Not much time for the computer. I've posted a few posts that I had "in the can", but I'm running out of those...so maybe I'll find time to write a bit about our vacation. No pics, though, because I'm not sure how to download them onto this computer, so you'll have to wait for that. I did finish another book, so maybe I'll write something about that in a day or two. Anyway, here's one of my last 'canned' blog posts, from before we left CA. :) I found this at Ally Bean's site:

How do you like your eggs? Sometimes scrambled other times over medium (what Maya likes to call, Sunny side down)

How do you take your coffee/tea? Coffee - latte. Tea, hot - with lemon. Tea, iced - with lemon.

Favorite breakfast food: Eggs and hash browns, or cold pizza.

Peanut butter: Smooth.

What kind of dressing on your salad? Marie's Blue Cheese Vinagrette, which was introduced to me by Tommy's Mommy.

Coke or Pepsi? Coke. It was definately Pepsi for the first 29 years of my life, though...when I got pregnant, it changed to Coke. Weird, huh?

You’re feeling lazy. What do you make? Cheese and crackers, or toast.

You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order? Eggplant, mushrooms, artichoke hearts, basil, and fresh tomatoes.

You feel like cooking. What do you make? Pasta, in one of its many beautiful forms.

Do any foods bring back good memories? Blueberry or apple turnovers (Peppridge Farms). My Grandpa would make them for me for breakfast when I spent the night. I always burned my tongue on them, but I didn't care.

Do any foods bring back bad memories? PF Changs -- food poisoning.

Do any foods remind you of someone? Lima Beans. I used to like the ones my Grandpa made.

Is there a food you refuse to eat? Internal organs of any kind.

What was your favorite food as a child? Watermelon.

Is there a food that you hated as a child but now love? Avocados. Also sour cream.

Is there a food that you loved as a child but now hate? Can't think of any. Things I might not want as much of, yes. Hate? No.

Favorite fruit & vegetable: Apricots...no, raspberries; green beans.

Favorite junk food: Ruffles Natural Potato Chips. Or Cheetos. It's a tie. Kind of depends on if I mind my fingers getting orange that day.

Favorite between meal snack: Anything salty.

Do you have any weird food habits? Sometimes at the movies, I dip my popcorn in my soda. It started as a way to eat popcorn without it sticking in my braces, and now I like the taste.

You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on? Salad. Fruit. Yogurt.

You’re off your diet. Now what would you like? Avocado burger from Manny's (in Stockton, CA).
How spicy do you order Indian/Thai? Fairly mild.

Can I get you a drink? Wine.

Red wine or white? I prefer red, but it gives me a headache, so white, please.

Favorite dessert? Ice cream or sorbet.

The perfect nightcap? Hmmm. Maybe a glass of chardonnay?

Thinking about books...

2006-08-15T06:20:00.000-07:00

I just finished this book....and I have to say, it was pretty amazing. I am not a HUGE fan of the short story, though of course there are those certain authors that can make me eat those words. Alice Munro, for one, can suck you in and make you feel like you've just finished a novel in just a few pages. Ray Bradbury's Martian Chronicles sucked me in and drew me from one weird world to another in a short period of time. But overall, I kind of like the continuation of a full length novel. The feeling as I'm putting the book down, and the characters will still be there for me tomorrow evening...waiting for me to return to their world, so different from my own (or, in some cases, so similar to my own). That feeling of making friends, of wanting to slap them for doing something so stupid, so human, so real. These are hard things to bring into a short story, I think. Because you get to know them, start to care, and then the story is over, just like that. Time to move on to new characters, new challenges, new drama.

OK, back to Willful Creatures. I've been thinking about reading this book since January, when I finished another book by Aimee Bender, titled An Invisible Sign of My Own, which is NOT short stories, but was great. Willful Creatures is a book of very odd stories, very odd characters. For example, in one story, a man buys another, tiny tiny, man, and keeps him as a pet, in a birdcage (that's him in the picture, I'm assuming). Or the woman who had 7 potatoes in her pot that would not go away, and 4 of them ended up growing into her little potato children. Or the folks with the pumpkin heads who somehow gave birth to a baby with an iron head, steam and all. Here is an excerpt from The Case of the Salt and Pepper Shakers, a dual murder case, told from the point of view of the detective who is trying to solve the crime. The husband has murdered the wife (poison) and the wife has murdered the husband (stabbing), and they both lay down and died within a minute or two of each other.

Now, she could not have known she was poisoned when she knifed him, as he had chosen a poison that is silent and causes no suffering, and he had hidden the bottle somewhere very difficult to find, as we have not yet found it. In fact, their greatest difference was revealed through their choice of murder weapon, in that she wanted to make him suffer and be aware of her murderous inclinations, choosing the overt and physical technique, while he selected the secretive method, one of the few available where she would die without fully realizing what was happening. He perhaps was more ashamed of his loathing, and also he did not want her to feel pain. Their greatest similarity, however, was revealed in their choice of occasion, since each conceived of the exact month and moment of death fully independent of the other. Certainly that was something. And I imagine that as they lay on the carpet next to each other, one bleeding from the gut, the other foaming from the mouth, they saw something meaningful and linked in the eyes of the other. The nature of hate is as elusive as love's. I for one am just pleased they did not have children.

For me, the whole paragraph is well written, but that last sentence just did it for me. Much of her work is like that to me...I am reading along, thinking that in less capable hands, this story would come across as too clever, too precious. But in Bender's hands, in her mind and her words, it's just wonderful writing.

Oh...and, by the way, it just came out in paperback. :)

Michelle Selden Rocks!

2006-08-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

And who is this Rockin' Michelle Selden, you may ask? Well, she's an 8th grader who lives in Livingston Parish, Louisiana. Why does she rock, you may ask? Because when faced with the somewhat insane policy of segregating boys and girls in her school district, because of how our brains work differently, she stood up and said, "Uh, Hello?" She got the ACLU involved, and they sued the school district on her behalf. From Salon's Broadsheet:

The school board made its initial decision based on impressively retro theories of girl- and boyhood. Among the sources defendants cited in the proceedings was Dr. Leonard Sax's "Why Gender Matters," which argues for the biological need for boys to practice "pursuing and killing prey," and girls to "practice taking care of babies." Sax stops short of calling for an end to all scholarly pursuits and a reversion to hunter-gatherer days, but he does suggest that these biological predilections should dictate playground behavior: Boys should be allowed to roughhouse; girls should not.

Also from Salon's Broadsheet, here is a quote from the letter that Miss (perhaps Ms.?) Selden wrote to the school board in her lawsuit:

"I just became certified as a scuba diver. I am a firefighter cadet, which is a junior volunteer firefighter. I have a purple belt in Shaolin Kung Fu. I don't know whether most girls would be interested in these things or not. I have done these things because I wanted to, whether or not the 'average girl' would want to."

I do understand that men's brains and women's brains are wired differently. Ted is reading this book about women's brains, which he found out about here, that goes into a lot of detail...not so much pointing out the differences between men and women, but just talking about how women's brains work specifically.

What is dangerous, however, is to assume that the way to teach children is to exaggerate these differences, to teach boys that caring for children is for women, and to teach girls that to be athletic is for men. Check out the lawsuit, if you're interested...it's pretty amazing stuff. One thing that struck me was not only that the program was so sweeping in its assumptions about boys and girls, about how they should be pigeonholed into these stereotypes, but that it was to be a district wide decision, meaning that if parents didn't like the program, they really didn't have anywhere else to go. Parents and students were not included in the making of this asinine decision, either.

When we decide that all girls need to be happy homemakers, and that their primary skill and interest is to care for children...that boys don't really like to read, and if your son DOES like to read, he needs to spend more time outdoors with 'normal' boys until he recovers...that girls couldn't possibly be interested in things like sports and science....that boys couldn't possibly be interested in caring for children, teaching, cooking, or other "female" pursuits, we are selling ourselves incredibly short, and setting ourselves up for a lot of depressed, unhappy children, both boys and girls. Depressed, unhappy adults, both men and women. It seems to be that our society has come too far in these last few decades, and we can't give it up under the ill conceived guise of serving our children's biology...

That Seems About Right to Me...

2006-08-13T06:50:00.000-07:00

You Are 64% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.

Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.

But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.

You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

Time for Bacation

2006-08-12T00:05:00.000-07:00

We're off for a week of R & R in the Pacific Northwest, which will include a stop for dinner and a play in Ashland, OR, sleep overnight there, and then on to Portland to visit with the family, including my new baby niece! Hopefully we will see the beautiful Chloe and her family, too. Yay! We may have blogging access while we're there (we're going to try, so check back from time to time), but we may not (ACK! Can I survive without my blog? Without reading YOUR blogs? I don't KNOW!).

If you don't hear from me in awhile....you'll know that I'm far away in the wilderness (Portland isn't really wilderness, but my dad lives near Forest Park, which is semi wildernessy....you know, for a city and all.)

I'll miss you. Really. A lot. Don't do anything interesting while I'm gone. I'm not even kidding.

25 Peeps

2006-08-11T07:08:00.000-07:00

Does anyone know anything about '25 Peeps'? It's this site that is used to promote your blog, and you can also use it to find other people's blogs. I found out about it at Sprigs, and thought, well, that might be fun, so I put my picture & blog in for submission. That's me up there, at the Sacre Coeur, on my honeymoon back in 1993, and the glamerous looking woman is Sprigs. :) So, with 25 Peeps, if people come to my blog and click the picture there, it gives me points, which keeps me on 25 Peeps. Then, since my picture (and link to my blog) are on the 25 Peeps page, I'll get new readers. See how this works? Of course, I think it would work a lot better if I weren't going on vacation tomorrow, leaving my blog lonely and dry...so I'm thinking I won't be on 25 Peeps for very long. But do me a favor, OK? Click the pic, go to 25 Peeps, check out a few other people's blogs, have fun. Maybe I'll even find a way to keep posting while on vacation...

Saturday Morning Update...I've been pushed from 25 peeps. Sigh. My moment of fame was fleeting...but actually, much less pressure now about blogging on vacation to keep people interested, so it's maybe a GOOD thing. :)

Fast Five Friday

2006-08-11T06:38:00.000-07:00

Between terrorist plots, trying to get work all settled for while we're gone, and a million really boring details about laundry and so on before we go on vacation, my mind is braindead for some deep post. Perfect time for a quick, fun, breezy meme type thing. I got this from Mom Maam Me, and I guess she's done a couple of them in the past. :) Thought I'd copy her, just for fun. Feel free to do a Fast Five Friday if you wish. I was trying to decide which Fast Five to do, but I like them both, so I'm doing both. Then I added my own. Guess that makes it a Fast Fifteen? You can all tell I'm desperately going to miss my blog while I'm gone, and I'm just spewing all over the place, can't you? Here goes:

Fast Five #1
I wanna know:

1. What reading material is currently on your nightstand?
2. What jewelry are you wearing right now, or did you wear today?
3. What is the last beverage you consumed?
4. Are you left-handed or right-handed?
5. What's your cell phone ring tone?

Here are my answers:

1. Willful Creatures, a very strange book by Aimee Bender. And a big pile of other things that I'm planning on reading very soon. Maybe some on bacation. (Remember to say 'bacation' in an Indian accent in your head.)

2. Wedding ring #2, wedding/engagement ring #1, wedding bangles, bangle from Saudi Arabia that my Grandma gave me, pretty Gucci watch I bought off eBay, earrings my best friend who never calls me gave me for my birthday a couple of years ago, and my pretty flower necklace from Hawaii.

3. Diet coke. That's almost always true. I know, I have a problem.

4. Righty-tighty.

5. "Hello Moto" and vibrate. I don't really know how to change it to another tone, and I don't care enough to learn.

Fast Five #2
I wanna know:

1. Gum, mints, or Tic-Tacs? And what flavor?
2. What kind of shoes are you wearing?
3. Suri Cruise: real or imaginary?
4. What kind of entertainment do you listen to in the car -- radio, CD, talk show, or none of the above?
5. Did you ever want to change your name as a kid? If so, what was your favorite "new" name?

And here are my answers:

1. Gum. Probably Trident White, because I want teeth like Cherry, who naturally has "after" teeth, as in the teeth people want after they have their teeth whitened. Probably because she drinks no (almost no) teeth staining substances.

2. No shoes, because I work from home. But when I took the dog for a walk this morning, I wore these (scroll down a bit).

3. Suri is probably real. I'm with Mom Maam Me when she says it's probably because of vaccination, but also, I read somewhere that Tom's other kids didn't have to face the reporters for a year or two after they came along, and I think it's kind of smart of them. Perhaps the FIRST smart thing they've ever done. Completely inconsistent with the very public nature of their relationship up until now, but they're both freaks, so who cares.

4. NPR, rock music on the radio, or CD. Sometimes I think about books on CD or something, but I work from home, so there's literally NO commute (Unless you want to be picky about my use of the word literally, and say, "Hey, J, you're commuting from your bed to your chair....doesn't that count?" to which the answer is, "NO." I've been toying with the idea of getting one of those radio things that will let me listen to my iPod in the car, but only because of Bacation, and the fact that we're driving from the Bay Area to Portland.

5. I always wished my name was 'Elizabeth'. People often told me I didn't really look like a Julie, and that I looked more like an 'Elizabeth', which I took to be a compliment.

Now I've decided to add my own "fast 5" questions...
I wanna know:

1. Do you prefer rainy, misty weather, or hot dry weather?
2. Are you driving, or flying to Portland on vacation this Saturday? (You can change this to fit any city you want.)
3. What did you watch on TV last night?
4. What do you have at home from Netflix?
5. Speaking of movies, what do you recommend?

My answers:

1. Rainy, misty weather, probably 70% of the time. I'm not saying downpours here, but cool and overcast is nice.

2. We're driving, thank goodness, because even though it's 620 miles, it may be faster with the new restrictions, at least this weekend. And that's including our overnight in Ashland.

3. I started by trying to watch Little House on the Prairie, moved on to Sex and the City(network TV version), then Everybody Hates Chris. Finally settled on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Too funny. Then I watched some Sex and the City on DVD.

4. Our current DVDs are: Curb Your Enthusiasm, Duma, and Super Troopers.

5. I'm recommending Water. I talked about it here, and although it truly, truly broke my heart, there are images and moments that are stuck in my head, and I would like to see it again. It's available August 29th on DVD. (And Cherry, don't watch it on August 29, unless you want to spend your birthday crying...)

There. All done. Your turn. :)

Double Thursday Thirteen (Thursday 26?)

2006-08-10T06:20:00.000-07:00

I was thinking the other day of things I would like to do if I had more money. Then I thought, that would be a good Thursday 13! So I daydreamed a bit, and started feeling kind of spoiled and selfish, and that I lead a pretty good life....so I thought of days when I had much less, and I decided to do a SECOND Thursday 13 of things I would do if I had less money.

OK, so that's TWO Thursday 13s. I considered using one this week, and saving one for next week, but next week, I'm on vacation (I know, Biff again) and I don't know if I'll be able to get near a computer, and Blogger doesn't let you write them ahead of time and have them automatically post (THOUGH THEY SHOULD!), and by the time I get back from vacation, my head will be ready to explode with new exciting things to tell you all, meaning that I will have lost ALL interest in having less money; SO, I thought, I'll give it to you all right now. Whew. I do believe that's a run on sentence, by the way.

Thirteen Things I would do if I had more money:

1. Take another yoga class, so I had it twice a week instead of once a week.

2. Get my hair cut/colored every 6 weeks, rather than every 3-4 months.

3. Give more money to my favorite charities, over there on the sidebar.

4. Travel more. Depending on how much more money I had, maybe a LOT more.

5. Buy a bigger house. How much bigger depends on how much money, but I would love it if my office weren't in my bedroom.

6. Buy a hybrid car. It's hard to put your money where your mouth is when they are SO stinkin' expensive.

7. Pay someone to come in here and paint my house with pretty colors...instead of doing it ourselves and always using shades of white. You know, unless we get that bigger house I mentioned.

8. Custom cabinets in whatever house we're talking about. With cool drawers and hidey places for everything...I would love that.

9. Oooohhh...a housekeeper. I have several friends who have someone clean once a week, and what a luxury that would be.

10. Pay off my mortgage more quickly...make double payments. That always seems like such a smart thing to do.

11. Fix things as soon as they become a problem. Like a new stove (one where all of the burners work). New dishwasher (one that is energy efficient and QUIETER). New hot water heater.

12. If I got stinkin rich, I'd build a library at Maya's school, since they don't have one. It wouldn't be in place until she left, so it wouldn't embarrass her for it to be named, "The Asregadoo Library". I like that.

13. Flying lessons for Ted. He said it was one thing he wanted to learn to do someday, and it would be cool to get to do that.

Thirteen things I would do if I had less money:

1. Dye my own hair. I've done it before, and no, it isn't pretty. But neither is my natural hair color.

2. Buy a yoga DVD and quit my class. Which would suck, because I've tried this in the past, and I just don't get around to it very often.

3. Give up my evening wine habit. (sob)

4. Eat at restaurants less often.

5. Cut back on my diet coke habit. Maybe one a day would be enough.

6. Cut back on the giving to the worthy organizations over there on the sidebar.

7. Remove Maya from afterschool childcare. Since I work from home, that would be an easy way to save money. But she doesn't have friends that live close by us, so this is her only chance outside of recess to play with other children.

8. Shop at consignment stores. I've gotten some pretty good deals there in the past. They take more patience, but if you're broke, patience is something you have to learn.

9. Go to a cheaper hair salon. Maybe a beauty college. You're taking risks there, people, and that might be painful.

10. No more pizza on Fridays or burritos on Tuesdays for Maya at school.

11. Brown bagging it for lunch for Ted. (He does this a lot anyway, but it could be every day.)

12. Cancel our Netflix subscription. I know, that's not a LOT of money, but sometimes, every little bit helps.

13. No new books. Sigh. That one might hurt the most.

Hospital Food

2006-08-09T06:36:00.000-07:00

I read with interest this article about Kaiser's desire to change over to more locally produced, fresh produce in their patient care menus. I think this is a great idea...really, who could use good, healthy, fresh food more than folks on the mend?

Unfortunately, 'hospital food' reminds me of a story that makes my blood boil a bit. Last summer, my mom had surgery at UC Davis Med Center. The care she received was 90% wonderful. Her surgeon was wonderful, the nurses were mostly great, etc. However...when it came to food, I found them lacking. My mother is border-line diabetic, meaning she can control her diabetes through diet, and doesn't need to take medication for it. When she was in the hospital for her surgery, they knew of her diabetes, and yet, what did they serve her for breakfast? French toast, steeped in syrup. How is that appropriate? Idiots. However, that's not the worst part of the story. My mom was trying her hardest to take care of herself, and when presented with French toast in syrup for breakfast, asked if she might have something more appropriate for a diabetic. Oatmeal, perhaps. The nurse was gone for quite awhile, and came back with a packet of instant oatmeal, which she gave my mother. Did you catch that? A packet of instant oatmeal. No bowl. No spoon. No hot water. No way to eat it. She's confined to her bed, can't even get up to use the bathroom by herself yet, and the idiot nurse gives her a packet of instant oatmeal. That's as good as saying, I don't give a shit if you eat or not. See if I care. (I wonder if she was charged extra $$$ for that packet of oatmeal? Was she just supposed to open it and pour it into her mouth, and beg for water?) That still pisses me off. It exasperated my mom, but she had bigger issues to deal with, like recovering, so she pretty much let it go. Not so, me. I could stew on the stupidity of it all. The nurse was caring in other ways, and was perhaps overworked, as most nurses are, and probably had to rifle around in the employees' personal stash for the oatmeal to begin with, but could she not have either done better on her own than giving my mother an impossible solution, or perhaps, PERHAPS called the food service department and asked them for a more suitable meal?

Idiots.

Grandma's Famous Slaw

2006-08-09T06:30:00.000-07:00

I consider myself fortunate in that I still have both of my grandmas. No grandpas left to speak of, sadly, but the women in my family tend to live a loooonnnngggg time. My mother's mother lives in Stockton, and my father's mother moved from Modesto to Portland last year. (We'll be seeing her next week...)When she lived in Modesto, we used to go visit her a few times a year, and she would sometimes cook lunch for us. On one such visit in 1994, she served us dried out chicken and cole slaw. The chicken wasn't anything to write home about, unless the folks back home enjoy reading about dried out chicken, but the slaw was a winner. Ted said it's his favorite cole slaw recipe. It's not REALLY famous, except with us, but maybe if you all try it, it could become famous.

Saturday, I made lunch for Maya that was so pretty I had to take a picture of it...grilled cheese, sliced oranges, cole slaw, and orange/strawberry smoothie/juice. The picture reminded me of Grandma Wells' cole slaw, even though the cole slaw in the picture was made from one of those bagged packs that you can buy in the produce section, with broccoli and carrots in it. I know, I'm a weirdo for putting a picture of cole slaw that isn't even the slaw I'm talking about on this post, but the sooner you get over that, the better. Anyway, here is the recipe for Grandma Wells' cole slaw, which is VERY tasty. Thanks Grandma!

Grandma Wells' Cole Slaw
Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups shredded red cabbage
1 1/2 cups shredded white cabbage
1 Granny Smith apple, shredded (unpeeled, but cored)
Fruit Fresh to sprinkle on the apple
3/4 cup celery, minced
3/4 cup green onions, minced
1/2 cup slaw dressing
1 tsp mustard

"Several hours before serving, carefully combine all these to allow their flavors to blend most pleasingly."

It's interesting to me that she goes to all of the trouble to mince and shred, but still uses bottled slaw dressing. What gives this cole slaw a distinctive flavor, I think, is the green onion and the apple. Give it a try with your next bbq. Enjoy! :)

They're Tempting Me...

2006-08-09T06:19:00.000-07:00

We're going on vacation in a few days, and this means...no blogging. We don't have a laptop, and unless we decide to beg use of my dad's computer (which isn't beyond the realm of possiblity, but might be seen as sort of rude...) or we shell out $$$ at an internet cafe (also not beyond any possibility realms, I hate to admit...), we're going to be incommunicado with the bloggy-verse. Which is just horrid to me. Here I was, minding my own business, and then I fell in love with blogging...sigh. And, just to taunt me, my spam mailbox is full, FULL of offers like this one, test drive a laptop, keep the one you want....come on J, you know you want to...all the cool kids are doing it...I resist, hit delete...think of the things we'll do on vacation that have nothing to do with electronics of any kind...sigh.

Stupid Human Tricks

2006-08-08T06:52:00.000-07:00

Cherry and I were discussing the time I murdered a salmon in Alaska...I was telling her that my SIL and I hit the fish in the head with a rock, hoping that would be kinder than leaving the poor fish to flop around and suffocate in the open air. This brought up the topic of suffocation for pleasure...how some people like to suffocate themselves just to the point of almost losing consciousness, because it gives them a high.

This reminded me of a very stupid trick my girlfriend Neva and I used to do, when we were in the 6th or 7th grade. I don't know where we got the idea, where we heard of doing this...maybe at a pajama party or something, but when there's nothing on TV and it's too hot to go out and play? Let's just kill a few brain cells, 'K?

Here's what we would do. I would bend at the waist, with my hands on my knees, and hyperventalate until I felt light headed. Then I would quickly stand up straight against the wall, with my arms crossed in front of my chest. Neva would then push my arms into my chest, forcing me up against the wall, and expelling all of the air out of my lungs, until I would pass out. Then it was her turn. Usually we were unconscious for so little time that we would just kind of slump over, but once I slid down the wall and scraped up my back, kind of like rug burn. Even though you were only out for a moment or two, I remember having long, vivid dreams, and waking up feeling spacey and like I had been out for hours.

Now I look back at this, and I think of the things that could have gone wrong, how we could have done serious damage. (Hey, this was before I tried taking Latin and French....maybe I killed my foreign language brain cells!) How we could have died due to our supidity. How incredibly stupid we were. And I hesitated to even tell you all this dumb story, because my mother reads my blog. And even though I'm 40 years old, and an adult, I don't want to get in trouble. But, my mom lives about a thousand miles away from me, and has surely done some really dumb things in her life, so she probably won't kill me. Plus she doesn't want Maya to grow up without a mother...unless she's planning on replacing me with a smarter one...

I wonder...does remembering these stupid things in my past make me more likely to be an overprotective parent, or will it lend me the grace to not kill Maya when I hear about her stupid human tricks someday?

How To Be Annoying....

2006-08-07T06:11:00.000-07:00

Back in my sordid days as a front desk clerk at a fancy hotel in SF, (OK, they weren't really sordid...I just say that to give myself street cred) I had a VERY annoying coworker whom I shall call Biff, because, well, his name was Biff. Really, his name was Jason, but he went by Biff. Why anyone with a perfectly good name like Jason would go by Biff is beyond me. Maybe there were too many Jasons in the family, and that was his family's way of telling them all apart. Maybe they read too much Superman. (Wasn't there a character named Biff in the Superman comics?) Anyway, in the months and weeks leading up to Biff's vacations, he would periodically put out these loooonnnngggg sigggghhhhhss... and he would say, "Only 25 more days until my vacation...." and then tell you the same boring details about his vacation. Never the interesting type of details like exotic locations he was going to see, or family he would visit, or anything like that. No, he would talk about what time he was going to have to get up to make it to the airport on time, and how it was 25 minutes earlier than he would USUALLY have to get up, and he wasn't sure if he should set TWO alarms instead of one, to make sure he would wake up, because, you know, it was 25 MINUTES EARLIER THEN HE USUALLY GOT UP. This would go on, with him talking about this ALL FRICKIN' DAY, every day, for the month before he went on vacation. I've got to tell you, we were all SO happy when he was gone. Then, he would come back, and would he tell us fabulous details about his fabulous vacation? No. He would put out those same loooonnnnngggg siiiggggghhhhsss and tell us that this time last week, he was on vacation. And he wished he were still on vacation. Believe me, so did we. Then the countdown would begin to the NEXT vacation. It was endless. Maybe his vacations were spent hooking-up with strangers in some secret locale, and that's why we never got any INTERESTING details, I don't know. But the pain was pretty much constant when you were working with Biff.

All of this is my way of telling you that we're going on vacation in....5 days....and in my mind? I'm Biff. I'm definately counting down....

Our Weekend So Far

2006-08-06T15:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Maya had a pretty cool art class, where they got to learn some cartooning skills from a Pixar animator. She really liked it. Ted and I took the opportunity to go see Scoop, which is the newest Woody Allen movie. Ted LOVES Woody Allen. I like him OK, but not like Ted does. That's ok, I'm game for a good movie now and again. ;) At one point during the film, however, I discovered that my husband has become an old man. I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but the evidence came forward when Woody Allen was asked what his religion was...he said ""I was born into the Hebrew persuasion, but when I got older I converted to narcissism." Ted's reaction? He clapped his hands together, twice, slowly and silently, just like an OLD MAN! Try it at home. Try to think how an old man would do it...that's exactly what happened. The joke was funny, but Ted's reaction was funnier. After the movie, we stopped to get some geriatric products (I can't think of any funny ones right now...fill in the blanks please...), then we picked Maya up from her class, came home and made a lovely dinner, after which we watched The Manchurian Candidate. I had never seen it before, and I have to say, it was really good. I knew a bit about it going in, but not the full details, and it was pretty gripping.

This morning we woke up late (LOVE weekends), went to breakfast and a dog walk, and then came home for awhile. Then Maya and I went to get pedicures and manicures, which felt GREAT. When I get a pedicure, I like to read crappy magazines, and eat crappy food. For my magazine, I chose the August 7 Star Magazine, which had a very compelling picture of Shannon Doherty before and after bad plastic surgery right there on the cover. As a huge fan of 90210, of course I HAD to buy it. :) (As a side note, I tried to find a link to the picture for you, on the Star website, and I couldn't find it....went looking elsewhere and found that Shannon is suing them for their rudeness and false allegations. OK, maybe not for the rudeness...) Wasn't a very interesting magazine article, but then again, they never really are. For my crappy food, I had to try the new Avalanche bar, which I've been looking for ever since my blog friend Ally Bean dissed them on her site. I agree with her in principle...why take a good thing and mess with it. But in reality, taking a Payday bar and covering it in chocolate was MIGHTY tasty. Maya had a triple chocolate drumstick, so we were both pretty liquored up on sugar at that point. For our colors, Maya chose a great orange, while I went with a bright pink. I purchased some callus remover that they swear will work on Ted's feet, so he'll be getting a home pedicure later this week. I'm afraid it will mess up my nails, so he'll have to wait until the polish chips at least a bit, which really could happen at any moment. Sigh. I miss my fake nails, which held to polish so well. Oh well.

Now I'm thinking it might be time for a snooze on the sofa. All of this doing nothing is wearing me out. Then I'll make dinner (spinach gnocci, I'm thinking), and chat with my mom on the phone.

Hope your weekend has been wonderful thus far as well!

My French is, How You Say, Tres' Mal

2006-08-06T08:05:00.000-07:00

I work at a small 'virtual company', and by this I mean that we all work from home and communicate mostly via email, sometimes via telephone. The company wasn't always like this, but some of my coworkers have always been in other parts of the country, and we are mostly on an email basis. One of the VPs, whom I shall call 'D', for some reason emailed me once using a word or two in French. I don't know if that was the start of our French email relationship or if something I said triggered him, but I went along with it. I went online, found a free translator, and had my reply to his email translated into French, and sent it that way. We went back and forth this way for awhile, each of us thinking that perhaps the other person actually KNEW some French.

Just a quick aside to tell you all that I actually DID take two years of French in college, and I sucked at it. I'm worse at French than I am at Latin, and let me tell you, that's saying something. Writing French is hard, because I can never remember which little accent to use. My second year of French, I got an F. That's right, an F. I always thought that if you at least showed up and took all of the tests and TRIED, you would at least get a D. Nope. Mme. Peterson was a woman of moral values, and she felt you should EARN your D. So, I gave up the beautiful language of love, and decided to speak only English from now on. Did I hold this against French people? Not often. I do admit to being a bit peeved when French families would check into the hotel, and their SMALL CHILDREN could speak French so well. I mean, shouldn't they be struggling, just like I had? Well, maybe they didn't know what to do with an accent ague either. Whatever. No, I did not hold the whole language thing against the French, and I even went so far as to GO to France on my honeymoon. There, I survived by using such phrases as "J'ai voudrais du" and pointing at what I wanted. So, if I wanted two peaches, I would say, "I would like two" and point at the peaches. Of course, I always added a little "sil vous plait" in there, to be polite. This was enough for a big city like Paris, where everyone is cosmopolitan and most everyone speaks English anyway, and you're fine as long as you don't act like the 'ugly American'.

Fast forward to present day, and my email exchanges with 'D'. Boy, I had him fooled. This turned into a problem on Thursday, when he phoned me to tell me that we are working with the City of Montreal, and need a contract written in French. HA! He was going to use one of those free online translators, but wanted me to look it over afterwards, to make sure it was all kosher. I had to disillusion him, and tell him that he would be better off finding someone who actually PASSED French class if he wanted his contract to be scrutinized the way it ought to be. Sigh. He was heartbroken.

By the way, it's disturbing to me that when looking for a pretty picture of Paris to use for this post, I did my little google search for "Paris", and I had to look at nasty pictures of Paris Hilton eating a hamburger in her dental floss outfit. That's just wrong.

Want to Go Back in Time?

2006-08-05T11:54:00.000-07:00

Do you like 80's movies? More importantly, do you love 80's movie music? If the thought of the Breakfast Club soundtrack gets your heart racing, hop on over to Py Korry's site. C-Lo came up with a great Mix Six, and you can relive your miss-spent youth and bad hair decisions in style.

Chicken Avocado Tortilla Soup

2006-08-05T11:10:00.000-07:00

Here's a new recipe we tried the other night...not new, actually, but new to us. It's in the same Sunset Magazine as this recipe. By the way, we had a lovely lunch with Pat (he that I mentioned on his birthday wish post) and other lovely folks on Monday, and I made the same tomato and bread crumb pasta again. Still yummy. Pat, in lieu of flowers, brought heirloom tomatoes and champagne. And cake. To his own birthday celebration! So, Tuesday night, we had this soup for dinner, along with some arugula and Pat's heirloom tomatoes. Very yummy. Seems like the soup might work with tofu instead of chicken for you non meat eaters. ;)

Chicken Avocado Tortilla Soup

Ingredients:
1/3 cup chopped onion
3 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped
3/4 teaspoon ground cumin
3/4 teaspoon dried oregano
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon pepper
8 cups fat-free chicken broth
1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 (4 ounce) can diced green chiles
10 (6 inch) corn tortillas
1 1/2 pounds boned, skinned chicken breasts
1 (1/2 pound) firm ripe avocado
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
Salt
1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

Directions:
In a 5- to 6-quart nonstick pan over medium heat, stir onion, garlic, cumin, oregano, chili powder, and pepper until spices are fragrant, about 1 minute. Add broth, tomatoes (including juice), and green chilies. Cover and bring to a boil over high heat.

Meanwhile, stack tortillas and cut into 1/8-inch-wide strips. Add to boiling broth. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Rinse chicken and cut into 1/2-inch pieces. Peel the avocado, pit, and thinly slice. Add chicken to broth and return to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer until chicken is white in center (cut to test), about 5 minutes. Stir in cilantro and salt to taste. Ladle into soup bowls, garnish with avocado, and add cheese to taste.

NOTES (from Sunset): The thinly sliced corn tortillas that Audrey Thibodeau of Gilbert, Arizona, adds to this dish thicken the soup as they dissolve.
(from J): I used shredded Mexican blend cheese instead of Cheddar. Very yummy.

How to raise a child/Save a marriage

2006-08-04T06:56:00.000-07:00

The other night I was up too late, watching stupid TV, and I saw two shows back to back that made me realize that we know a lot more than we think we know. First, I watched Supernanny, and then I watched One Week to Save Your Marriage. The moral of both shows, it seemed, was communication, consistency, kindness, and fun.

If you haven't seen Supernanny, you should probably watch it at least once (and once is enough, really, because it's always the same). Just so you can laugh and feel all superior, because these kids are such beasts. They hit their parents and call them names. They beat up on each other, and destroy things. They sulk and scream and take 4 hours to get out the door in the morning, and 4 more to get to bed at night. Somehow they never seem to be only children...maybe the parents can manage better if it's two adults against one hellion. There's never any real discipline in these houses, just some attempts through yelling and screaming, and once in awhile, a family who spanks. But never any consistancy, the kids get away with SO much before the parents even attempt anything at all. So, the kids are out of control, the parents are stressed and freaking out and completely overwhelmed, and in comes the Supernany to help out. She gets down to the kids level when she talks to them. She enforces her rules. She is quick with the praise for good behavior. The parents never think it will work with their kids, and it ALWAYS does. I don't agree with 100% of her methods, don't think getting into a battle with your toddler about staying in a 'naughty chair' is the most effective method of parenting, but you know what? She's mostly right. She preaches consistency, kindness, and support. She says that both parents need to be involved, and consistent with one another. By the end of the show, everyone is relieved and peace reigns in the home. (I do sometimes wonder if the parents keep it up for more than a few weeks after taping....)

OK, so that's over, and I'm not tired yet, just finished my book (FINALLY) and I don't feel like reading my next one yet. So what's on next on the boob tube? TLC's new show One Week To Save Your Marriage. The premise is that they get a couple on the verge of divorce, but who might like to try one last time to save their marriage. They bring in a marriage counselor, and she camps out in front of their house in a mobile home, with cameras all over the house so she can watch them, 24/7. She runs back and forth between the mobile home and the house whenever they get out of control, in her jeans and high heels, which is annoying, and happens pretty often. The episode I saw was the premier episode, I think. The couple just bickered and bickered, and the resentment level was VERY high. The man never seemed to help with the household chores or the childcare, and who can blame him, because in his wife's eyes, he never did anything right, and she wasn't above calling him names. They were so out of touch, emotionally, that at one point she opened up enough to let herself cry in front of him, and he tried to comfort her...she said, "Don't touch me, you'll make me barf." Yeah, nice. They hadn't slept in the same bed in 6 years, since their child was born. The daughter and mom slept together, while dad gets the sofa. What a mess. So, in comes the therapist, and tells him to start helping more. Start listening to her issues, and addressing them. She tells her to let him help, and to stop being so critical. She makes them do role reversal exercises, and they have to go out on the street and tell strangers what they love about each other. He had to romance her, rather than just be her friend (and with friends like that, who needs enemies?). She had to be open to the romance. Of course, it's TV, and mostly it's common sense, but it worked. And you know what, sometimes we know things intellectually, and still, in our hearts, we don't KNOW them, don't practice what we preach. So, because I know you're just DYING to hear her tips for a better marriage, I've got some that I lifted from the TLC website for you.

Short-term Strategies: Things you can start doing right away
Be kind to each other.
Appreciate your partner's strengths.
Put yourself in your partner's shoes every once in a while.
Figure out what you want.
Ask for what you want in a way your partner can hear you.
Develop real intimacy by letting your partner enter into your private world.
Don't be so fast to blame - being right is less important than learning how to come to an agreement.
Remember, the more you give the more you get.
Perhaps most important of all, know that we all have the power to move our relationship into a better place.

Some of these sound kind of fruity, like "let your partner get into your private world", but I think a lot of couples who are having problems have shut each other out of their deeper thoughts, so this is probably decent advice. Actually, for all my scorn and saying 'we already know this stuff', It all seems like pretty good advice. I didn't see ALL of this being taught on the show, but it's only an hour, and they did cover a lot of it. These were the short term solutions...see the website for long term goals as well.

So, now you can have a happy, healthy relationship, AND well-behaved, beautiful children. Thanks, J! Thanks, boob tube!

Do Your Kids Eat Only Crap?

2006-08-03T06:40:00.000-07:00

I have issues with this stuff. Not for the maybe 2% of children who really need it...I know of some families with children who simply WILL NOT EAT, and they must resort to drastic measures to get nutrients into their children. Believe me, if your child is this way, I feel your pain, and I'm NOT talking about you here. Nor am I talking about the children with health conditions that mean they must go on a temporary liquid diet while they recover. This stuff is probably perfect for that.

But the way this stuff is marketed, and the way I suspect it is most often used, it's a supplement to give your kids because they will only eat junk food, and nothing healthy. Sorry, but I don't think that's such a swell idea. What do you think the chances are of you raising a healthy eater, someone who enjoys food and is willing to try new things, if your idea of keeping them healthy is a Pediasure with the burger and fries? It's like the folks that say, sure, Frosted Flakes are cool...they're fortified, and therefore healthy. Frosted Flakes are tasty, and they're fine for a treat, but don't kid yourself that you're giving your child healthfood here, OK?

My cousin was raised by a mother who only gave them very basic foods, because they were "picky eaters", and she regrets not growing up with more variety now. She wishes that her palate could enjoy a greater selection of yummy treats, but she really doesn't like very much. She is the one I think about when I see this stuff. I think of her and her limited options, and of crappy parents who would give their children Pediasure and nothing else, because it means no cooking, no dishes, no worries. I'm not talking about most parents here, don't get all offended, I'm talking the crappy parents, and maybe the kids are actually better off having the Pediasure rather than just the Frosted Flakes, etc.

I have several friends who tell me that their kids won't eat fruits or veggies. WON'T EAT THEM. Will only eat chicken nuggets and mac & cheese. I have these kids over, and instead of asking them if they want any fruit with their lunch, I just slice up an apple and some grapes, and plop it in the middle of the table, so if they want it, they can eat it. No pressure, no discussion. Just, "here's some food, help yourself". Know what? It's ALWAYS the first thing gone, usually before they've even TOUCHED their mac and cheese. I know, the same can't usually be said for the veggies. But give a kid some corn on the cob, and they're into it. They don't want to eat their broccoli? I used to take Maya's broccoli off of her plate, and say, "I'm a dinosaur, and I'm eating a tree!" She would laugh and gobble the rest of it down.

I will admit that with Maya, we got lucky. She's pretty open to eating new things, and while she doesn't like the same variety of things that an adult will eat, she can pretty much find SOMETHING on any menu to please her, and the only veggies she really hates are green beans and Brussels sprouts. And she'll eat green beans if I toss them with some gorgonzola cheese and it gets all melty and yummy. ;) So maybe, having gotten lucky, I'm a bit 'holier than thou', and I should shut up. But somehow, I truly suspect that most parents who are feeding their kids this stuff on a regular basis are just giving up too easily, and that if they just put the food down and said, "That's dinner, eat it or don't", most kids would come around in a day or two.

Post Waste

2006-08-03T06:28:00.000-07:00

If you're going to let your beautiful 16 year old daughter, who for some reason only LOOKS 10, get married...you may want to make sure you meet the groom before the big day. Otherwise, he may turn out to be only 6, and you've spent all of this money on something really weird and creepy.

That's what I learned from my dream this morning. Hope it helps you out in YOUR real life situations. Actually, no, I hope you NEVER need this advice. ;)

Enough Light Banter!

2006-08-02T06:57:00.000-07:00

While listening to my beloved iPod last week, walking the dog, enjoying "To the Best of Our Knowledge", these questions were raised:

What do you live for?
What would you die for?
What would you kill for?

The answers were interesting. Most folks said they lived for their families, would die for their families ,and kill for their families. Some folks said they lived for art and love, would die for their ideals, and wouldn't kill for anything. Me? I'm not sure. I've thought about it quite a bit over the last few days, and here are my answers, some lighthearted, some not so much:

I live for:
Kisses from Ted
Kisses from Maya
Heirloom tomatoes
Really good books to read
Ocean breezes
Warm summer nights
Rainy Tuesday afternoons
The many myriad miracles of life (sappy, I know...)

I would die for:
To save Ted and Maya

I would kill for:
To save Ted and Maya
Dinner (I murdered a salmon once in Alaska, and while it was gross and sad, it was also mighty tasty, and I'd do it again.)
Self Defense, if I had to.

I feel like I should say I would kill or die for peace in this world, or to save my country, but really, enough people are dying for those already. I would only die for that if I had a guarantee from God that THIS was going to make the difference. And why would it? My life is no more vital and important than those of the people who are already dying for these things.

How about you? If some NPR type came and stuck a microphone in your face, how would you answer these questions?

Churning....

2006-08-01T06:56:00.000-07:00

Ever have one of those days when your insides are just all jumbled, and you feel tense, and although nothing bad really happens to you, you're pretty much ready to snap? No, me neither, but if they DID, I wouldn't be a fun person to be around, and I wouldn't want to be my husband or my child. ;)

A bit more seriously, there was a time not long ago when I felt like this much of the time...tense, on edge, pretty much unable to relax. I decided to take a yoga class to try to help me through this problem...maybe if I could find the right class, one that could help me to slow down and BREATHE, I would lose some of this type-A energy, also known as stress.

Thursday night is yoga night, and last week we learned about the Niyamas...not that this is the first time I've heard this stuff, I basically take the same class over and over again, since it is taught as a 10 or 12 week class through the City. The Niyamas are rules by which to live your life...they are, in a very basic, simple form:

Saucha - purity
Santosh - contentment
Tapas - austerity
Swadhyaya - study
Ishvar Pranidhana - surrender

I decided that what I needed to do to calm my churning self was to concentrate on surrender... surrender to joy, to the happiness that's trying to get in, to calm. Don't let all of the distractions of the world get in the way of my meditation, my study. So during class, when my mind would wander over to dinner, or my blog, or how I feel like I've gained a few pounds, or how I sure HOPE that this cooler weather lasts, or the fact that I kind of wished I was going to BlogHer, but I wasn't, I tried to bring the focus back to class by thinking one word...surrender. Surrender, surrender, surrender. We started the class with some chanting, Ooooommmmmm, oooooommmmmm, ooooommmmm....we've never tried this before, and the teacher promised us it would calm us, and we would feel very different by the end of class. I failed. I chanted with the rest of them, but I was still churning. Thankfully, something about the combination of pushing my body into these poses, twisting and stretching, and at the same time concentrating on one word...surrender...it did work. Not as much as I had hoped, not as much as some previous times in the past, but it did work. So, that's my new mantra. Surrender. Surrender to the moment, to joy, to peace. Let it overtake me and diffuse frustrating situations.

I find it difficult to explain the concept of surrender without it feeling like giving up power...but really, I think it's different. You don't have to give up power, you don't have to surrender to what is wrong and harsh in this world. But surrender to what is right, and let it in. It may help to stop the churning.

Permanent Collection

2006-07-31T06:32:00.000-07:00

Saturday was one of those lovely grown up evenings, when you realize that the whole world isn't focused on kid things...I mean, I am home with Maya every day, and the blogs I read are mostly mommy blogs, so my life is very much kid focused. I wouldn't change that...I love her madly and love the life that I have because of being a mother. Still. There are times when a parent, when a couple, needs to get out and remember a bit of what life was like before there were kids in the picture. And really, Maya's happier when she's not along on such ventures, because she finds them BORING.

My good friend Cherry came over, and she and Maya made pizza, Caesar salad, and ice cream (all from scratch! FUN!), while Ted and I went out for a lovely dinner, and then a play. We went back to Zax Tavern...we have been there once before, and really liked it. Well, happily, we really liked it again. I had a beet salad, which was beets, green beans, a vinaigrette, and some wonderful goat cheese, called, Bermuda Triangle goat cheese. Boy, that stuff was good. I want more. I wish they sold it at BevMo or Trader Joes, or even Andronicos, because, um...YUM. Ted had a Caesar salad, which was good, but he kind of wished he had tried one of their more signature dishes, I think. Then he had the duck, while I had a very yummy pork chop, which was served with arugula and polenta. (Not a fan of polenta, but the arugula was very good.) For dessert, I had perhaps the best raspberry sorbet I've ever had...it was just bursting with raspberry flavor. Really good. Ted had a blueberry gallette, which he really enjoyed as well.

After dinner, we went to see a play. I'm not sure when the last time was that I went to see a play that wasn't at school, either Maya's or Ted's nieces, and I liked it. I like those school plays too, but it was great to be in the presence of professional actors, who make their living at this craft, and really know what the heck they're doing. The play was called "Permanent Collection," and it was written by Thomas Gibbons. It is based on real events at the Barnes Foundation, which is a pretty amazing small museum in the suburbs of Philadelphia. When we lived in Philly, we lived on "City Line Avenue", which bordered the town of Lower Marion, which is where the Barnes Foundation is currently located. We were fortunate enough to go and see it a few times while we lived there. It is a pretty amazing collection of art, considering it was amassed by one man, Dr. Barnes, and there is a very strict will stipulating the layout of the art, when people can visit the museum, etc. Well, in the mid-late 90s, the Barnes foundation became embroiled in a legal dispute with some of the neighbors, and the legal costs of this struggle have forced the foundation to make some difficult decisions, one of which is that it is likely that the museum will move from it's home in the suburb of Marion, to downtown Philadelphia, where more money can be made, and hopefully the foundation can stay afloat. The play was about a fictional account of this legal dispute. I've got to tell you, that didn't sound very interesting to me, except that it was the Barnes, where we had been, but Ted really wanted to see it, so that was my anniversary gift to him, that we would go. I loved it. The two hours pretty much sped by, and it was a moving, interesting, riveting play. If you live in the Bay Area, it's at the Aurora Theater in Berkeley, ending August 5th. (That's soon, so get going!). If you're from elsewhere, keep your eyes open, because playhouses around the country have been putting on this production, and it's worth seeing. And if you live near Philly, and you like impressionist art, get over to the Barnes before they move, and then again afterwards....I'm hoping a lot of the treasures that are hidden away in storage, a lot of African Art specifically, will be on display in the new location. It would be interesting to compare the effect of the old layout with the new.

Sometimes I Read My Spam...

2006-07-30T08:33:00.000-07:00

And I get gems like this, which kind of makes me wonder if this is a frustrated writer, making a living finding ways to get past spam filters so the stupid stock they are trying to get me to buy or whatever since I never actually GO to the sites, so maybe it's something else entirely...anyway, some of this stuff is so bad it's good, and here's one damn fine example of that. Taken directly from a spam to my work email account, and only edited to remove the stock info.

but I could go with you. He held onto one thought - she was going to lift him into bed, and when she did that she would have to be blind as well as numb not to notice that the back of his underwear happened to be stuffed with little boxes.

(Insert spam about new stock that will make you RICH BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS here...)

No exact cause of death given. He noted with deepening misgivings that there were red marks like weals on her cheeks and arms. Paul thought this was akin to proving that meteors never struck the earth by showing five days when not a single one had hit Farmer Johns north field, but he could understand the weight he argument would have carried with the jury just the same. He huddled by the occasional table, shivering all over, staring at them with rolling eyes.

He bent over, ignoring the pain in his legs, and began to work the loose section of baseboard out with his fingers. Then the crosss upright split.

Suddenly he wanted a hit of rock and roll worse than he had ever wanted a cigarette. He saw everything with perfect clarity - three groups all hellbent for Misery in the crenellated passages behind the idols forehead, two wanting to kill her, the third - consisting of Ian, Geoffrey, and Hezekiah - trying to save her.

Congratulations, Achebe!

2006-07-29T10:30:00.000-07:00

Our 20 year old Volvo passed a major milestone on Friday....he went from 199,000 miles over to 200,000! It's kind of like his birthday or something! If he were human, I'd buy a cake. But, since he's a car, I'll just say, "Good Going, Achebe!"

(And yes, he was named for the famous Nigerian author, Chinua Achebe...I read a book of his in grad school (Things Fall Apart) and I was pretty blown away by how DIFFERENT it was from the other things I was reading, and I always liked the name. I hope the author isn't insulted that I named a car after him...I mean, Ted named his mom's dog Nietzsche (and she's a girl!), but old Friedrich is long dead, so he doesn't care...)

Friday Dog Blogging

2006-07-28T06:45:00.000-07:00

Samantha
1972 - 1988

Dear Samantha, my sweet doggy love,

Thank you,

for letting me come into your house and watch as you gave birth to your 13 puppies...

for being my ambassador when we moved - I made so many friends while taking you for walks, because they wanted to know about my dog...

for jumping over trash cans (upright, even!) when I pretended you were a horse...
for letting me dress you up in long frilly dresses...

for sleeping in my bed and keeping me company...

for defending me from the creepy cable guy that one time...

for forgiving me when I treated you badly...
when I bit your poor ear because I was so frustrated (and very young, but still)...
when I wanted you dead because you ate my poor Smokey...
when I didn't take you for walks as often as you needed...
when I wasn't as good of an owner as you deserved...

for the years of fun we had together....

for still going jogging with me when you were 15 years old...

for being the sweetest dog ever...

for being the best friend a little nomad could ever have, for loving me no matter what, for kissing my tears and hurts away...

for coming to San Francisco with me, for hanging in there long enough to know that I would be OK out in the world...

for your patience and your good doggy heart...I don't believe in heaven (or hell) but I hope I'm wrong, because I would so love to see you there...I'll shake your paw all night long if you want.

(Note, the last picture isn't torn in the middle because I was mad or anything...it's torn because it's an old poloroid that has seen way too many years of use...)

A Few Tings

2006-07-28T06:37:00.000-07:00

(I say tings because I'm trying to affect a Guyanese accent...)

1st. My mom (aka, Maya's Granny) wrote a post yesterday that really gave me a peek into growing up in the 50s, being a girl. I would say that this is her best writing so far...good stuff, and definitely worth the time. Check it out. And now that I mention it, today's post isn't shabby either...I wrote a quick post back in March about Feminism, and she gives it a more thorough treatment today. She's on a roll. ;)

2nd. I'm guest blogging over at Birth Stories. My fellow 'J' blogger, Black Belt Mama started a new blog, and is actively seeking submissions. So, if you would like to share your birthstory with her, shoot her an email at black-belt-mama@hotmail.com. She's taking submissions from men as well, if you want to give her the father's point of view...though I don't think her very young blog has had any dads yet. If you want to read about the day Maya finally conceded and made her appearance, go check it out. :)

3rd. I found a blog by Guyana Gyal the other day, and if anyone is interested in reading about life in Guyana, told in a Guyanese accent, this blog is great. Love the voice, but her content is great as well. If you didn't know this already, Ted's family is from Guyana (though he was born near Toronto), and every once in awhile I get a glimpse of the language. I love how people can be speaking English, and I can understand the words, but not really what they're talking about. As opposed to Scotland, where the words are beyond most Americans, or so I hear. ;)

4th. I've decided to become really annoying. If I'm not annoying enough already, I'm going to add to it by now calling San Francisco "Frisco", L.A. "la la land", and Berkeley, "Bezerkly". Anyone have any really annoying nick names for other cities I can adopt in my quest? (OK, just kidding...I'm NOT going to start using these annoying names...but it seemed like a good idea last night, and I WOULD like to hear if Chicago, New York, Paris, Tokyo, etc. have stupid nick names that make the locals' skin crawl...)

5th. You have no idea how happy I am to tell you this....last night, I was up watching a little TV, and I had to close the window, because I was a little chilly. It just makes me happy to be able to say that.

Sweet Relief

2006-07-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

Take a peek at this...it's the view toward San Francisco, from the Lawrence Hall of Science in the Berkeley Hills. Maybe I'll pull this post later, when the view changes, but right now, it's all foggy foggy sky, which is sweet relief, and bringing cooler breezes out our way.

A Thankful Thursday 13

2006-07-27T06:45:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I posted 13 things I'm thankful for, and after the last couple of posts, which were pretty heavy, I thought it might be time to lighten up a bit. So here we go...13 things I'm thankful for right now. (I chose this picture because it looked so cool and inviting...not like the brown dead stuff that surrounds us in the CA summertime.)

1. It seems that it is finally, albeit SLOWLY, cooling off around here. Saturday: 111 Sunday: 115 Monday: 109 Tuesday: 108 Wednesday: 98 Thursday Forecast: 93. We're hoping for mid-80s by Saturday. (Look what the heat did to my poor roses...)

2. Ted and Maya gave me a gift certificate to my favorite hair salon for Mother's Day, and I finally used it. You know how sometimes you go and get a cut that you like, and others, um, not so much? Well, this is one of those "I like it" times. :) I'm blonde again, and I lost about 3 inches from the ends. Nice!

3. My mother in law doesn't like to try on clothes when she's shopping. She accidentally bought a lovely green shirt that doesn't fit her (It was on a hanger marked her size, but it's actually my size.) Instead of returning it, she gave it to me. Yay!

4. I learned how to make a new eggplant dish, baigan choka. (This isn't my MIL's recipe, but I loved the blog, called Guyana) I got the eggplant and tomatoes from the farmers' market on Sunday, and called my mother in law for the recipe. Her recipe didn't call for any cumin, and I added it anyway...and I put in too much. "As I always say, You can put it in, but you can't take it out." (Extra credit if anyone other than Ted knows what movie that little snippet comes from) ;) It was still good, and I'll try it again soon.

5. That pesky cherry tree was recently trimmed (butchered, really, but that's another sad tale) so next time it gets windy here, we'll be able to sleep without having to listen to the fence creak all night, sounding like we're on a sinking ship. AND the neighboring complex people who own the tree paid for it themselves, not our homeowners association. Bonus!

6. My evil migraine was stopped in its tracks on Tuesday. Thanks Cherry, for the advice, and Ted, for the coffee and cold/sinus advil. :)

7. My eyes. I'm thankful for them. When I have a migraine, my eyesight gets blurry, so it's best to let your eyes rest. No reading, no TV, no computer. Also, caffeine helps, so Ted brought me a big nasty cup of black coffee from Starbucks. There I was, awake from the caffeine, but no book, no blogging, no work, no TV. Made me appreciate my eyesight all of a sudden. And my iPod, loaded up with "To The Best of Our Knowledge". For some reason, lounging on the sofa with a cold compress and my iPod made me want to smoke. I don't smoke, and I didn't start. But it seemed like a good idea at the time...lazy hot day, listening to the radio, smoking a camel unfiltered...

8. Air Conditioning. I know a few people around here without, and I'm thinking that this past week has been pretty hard on them. Fatal for some folks. Believe me, I'm thankful for having it. We just got the electric bill, which covered up through Monday. It was about double our usual amount. Why am I not surprised?

9. My friend Cherry, who, along with E, is going to come cook dinner and hang out with Maya on Saturday, so Ted and I can go to Berkeley for dinner and a play.

10. My Buffy DVDs. Yes, I own them all. They come in handy when I'm all coked up on coffee trying to battle a migraine. (Once I'm past the danger of the migraine, so I can watch some TV, but still coked up on caffeine...) Ditto my S&TC DVD set.

11. The ironing has been pretty manageable since the most recent hell pile was tamed by Ted, master of the iron. Once again, we make the futile vow not to let the pile grow any higher than our knees...

12. Thursday is yoga day for me. 2 weeks ago, I had to bail in the middle of class because of serious indigestion (causing me to almost barf while doing downward dog!) Last week I didn't make it because I had to work late. So I'll be mighty glad to make it to my yoga class tonight.

13. Finding time to read. Maybe it's because there's no TV in the summer, but I've been finding more time for reading lately. Right now I'm getting close to the end of In Cold Blood, by Truman Capote. It's fascinating and creepy. Next on my list is my newest library book, which of course gets bumped to the top of the pile because it is due in a couple of weeks. It is Willful Creatures, by Aimee Bender. Last year I read another of her books, An Invisible Sign of My Own, which was pretty amazing and weird. So I'm looking forward to this book, which is a series of 15 strange short stories.

So that's my list of 13 things I'm thankful for today. I'll be even more thankful if this cooling trend continues, and we get down into the 80s. They're saying it could happen this weekend. Cross your fingers for us. ;)

The Dark Side of Genealogy

2006-07-26T06:58:00.000-07:00

Many years ago, in my mis-spent youth, I worked at the front desk at a big San Francisco hotel. One evening, a very cute black man checked in, whose last name was Ward. "Hey," I said, semi-flirtatiously, "that's my last name, too." He smiled and said, "Yeah, it's that southern thing." Ugh. Stopped me cold. Maybe he thought that somewhere back in time, some of my ancestors owned his ancestors. Which is surely not true, since,
1. My Ward surname came from my mom's step-dad, so I wasn't descended from him by blood; and,
2. Our Ward family was poor Irish in Oklahoma, and surely never had the kind of money it took to own slaves. Who knows, they may have still been in Ireland at the time of the Civil War.

I was thinking about this yesterday, because while I was walking Genevieve in the hot morning sun (108 yesterday, they keep saying it's going to cool off, but 108 doesn't feel cool to me), I was listening to "To the Best of Our Knowledge" on my beloved iPod. This episode centered on the topic of regrets. One of the interviewees was a man named Cary Sudler, and his regret was that his ancestors owned slaves, and had contributed to the racial issues and divisiveness in our country. He made an extremely good point, one that I have often considered as well. When his white friends tell him that he wasn't there, it's not his fault nor any connection of his, he replies that if we are going to associate ourselves with our ancestors, if we are to take pride in their accomplishments and their strengths, then in order to be honest, we must recognize their wrong doings as well.

Some might dismiss this as liberal "white guilt", and complain that it is somewhat condescending. And perhaps at some level it is. But I don't think it is easily dismissed. For me to have advantages in our society based solely on my skin color, while others must overcome theirs, that is a burden that rightfully carries guilt, and should also bring a desire with it to atone for these wrongs.

I grew up with stories of how our southern ancestors, the Herndons (and surely many of the families into which they married) owned slaves. These stories are always about how benevolent we were, that the slaves were brought into the house to be tended when they were sick or very old. That doesn't really make me feel any better, especially since with a glass of wine in her, my grandmother will tell me that she just feels that deep down, black people are "different", and there's nothing that I can say that will change her mind. The truth is, we owned people, bought and sold them, and took advantage of the fruits of their labor. We separated families and thought of them as inferior. There is only shame in this for me.

Cary Sudler, the man being interviewed, decided to make what restitution he could. He tracked down some descendents of his ancestors' slaves, pulled together his courage, and he apologized to them. It was amazing. You should go listen.

For now, to all of the descendents of the slaves of my Herndon ancestors, I would like to apologize. I would like to quote Mr. Sudler's apology, which was made via phone to a black man who shared his last name. I think he got it right, though he's a bit clumsy.

I just want to apologize for any difficulty that life is as far as racism and the rest of it, and I want you to know that you have somebody with the same last name who's interested in having a level playing field for everybody.

I want to let you know that it does not continue, even in silence.

He ends the interview with this:

I really don't know what you say to somebody...but I carry my family's name, and I carry what it's done, both good and bad. What do you do in life? You just try and do the next right thing, even if you don't understand it.

Escaping Ennui

2006-07-25T06:50:00.000-07:00

Ted and I went to escape the heat as well as taking advantage of Maya's going to her best friend's house on Saturday (free babysitting!), and we drove into Berkeley to see "A Scanner Darkly." It's a complicated tale, and one wonders how and why the main character (played by Keanu Reeves....whoa....) got to be where he is. In one flashback that may or may not be real, we see him in his home, with a lovely wife and two children. The wife and kids are playing a board game, and he is reading the newspaper. He gets up to make some popcorn, bonks his head on an open cupboard door, and realizes that he hates his life...hates getting up, going to work, coming home to his family, being happy. What does he hate so much about it? He hates how predictable it all is. Hates that in any given day, he knows exactly what is going to happen. His life lacks spontaneity So, the next thing you know, the family is gone, the house is a dump, and he's involved in some undercover sting operation to stop a huge drug ring, a task for which he becomes addicted to the deadly drug, "D", and proceeds to lose touch with reality.

Yesterday, I was walking Genevieve, the spoiled, "I get two walks a day even when it's frikkin 115 degrees out there" dog (don't yell at me for taking her out in the heat...we wait until the sun goes down for her evening walk, and if it's still too hot, we hose her down first...I didn't want to get reported for cruelty to animals or anything), and listening to my beloved iPod. I was listening to a podcast of This American Life. The show was a repeat of a show from last year, titled "Go Ask Your Father." (I couldn't link directly to the episode for some reason, but you can go to the link for TAL, and then search for "Go Ask Your Father", if you want to hear more.) The second act of this show was a man whose father left his family and went on a quest to find extraterrestrial life. At one point, the son asked the father, Why? Why is it so important to leave your family, and find life elsewhere? Why that need? The answer struck me...the father said that if all there is to life is what we have on this earth, getting up and going to work every day (he was a successful professor) and coming home to the wife and kids, if that's IT, then life becomes meaningless for him. He's an atheist...he finds no hope in a greater meaning from God. So he is looking for meaning from outside of our realm. He admits it's pretty unlikely that he'll ever make any sort of contact, but he wants to try nonetheless.

See the common thread here? Two people who are so terribly bored by their lives that they can't continue it status quo. I think we all feel this way sometimes, we get terribly bored with the routine of cooking, cleaning, working, eating, sleeping, walking the spoiled dog, whatever. Ennui comes in and tries to take us down the slippery slope with poor Neville (click the picture, above, to read the miserable fates of all the Gashlycrumb Tinies). Of course, I do understand about dreams put aside to make room for the uncomfortable realities...the career we wanted and didn't get, the children we didn't have, the husband who passed away too soon, the wife we should have married when we had the chance, etc. But the extremes to which these two men went struck me. Especially the true life case, the man searching for extraterrestrial life. Not so much that he left his family to follow his dream...I think that sort of thing happens a lot, with both men and women. But it was strange to me that he can't find anything worthwhile, any meaning, on this earth...

If suburbia is just too boring and mundane, what about safaris in Africa? What about becoming a crab fisherman in Alaska? Playing piano on a cruise ship? Hitchhiking across America and finding out a few things? What about joining the Peace Corps? What about the many myriad miracles (how's that for alliteration, mom?) that our world has to offer, both beautiful and tragic? It seems to me that this earth in which we live, our Earth, is full of miracles great and small, and I was just amazed that he couldn't find worthwhile pursuits right here.

Mom Always Said Not to Play Ball In the House

2006-07-24T06:05:00.000-07:00

Since it was 115 yesterday (according to this morning's Chron...I never saw it get over 112...HA!), we pretty much didn't leave the house after 10am, except to take out the garbage. As I mentioned, TV Land had a Brady Bunch marathon on, and after an early dinner, we were watching the top 10 most popular episodes, and of course, the episode with the broken vase came on. I suddenly thought, hey, why was that only Peter's fault? All three of the boys were playing basketball in the house...it was just Peter who got unlucky enough that he bounced the ball down the hall, over the ledge, and broke the vase. Excuse me, not fair. The way we were raised, all three of those boys would have been in equal amounts of trouble, because it wasn't breaking the vase that was against the rules...it was playing ball in the house.

This brought me back, to my prime example. When I was in 6th grade, and Richard was in 8th grade, I had my best friend, Neva, over for a sleepover. Neva and I were playing Monopoly, and Richard was watching. Well, more than watching, he was torturing me. Neva was doing pretty well, and every time I would land on one of her hotel-properties, he would taunt, "Heeehhhh....heeeehhhhh....heeeeehhhhh" Think of the most annoying way possible for a younger brother to say this, and my older brother was doing it to me. Over and over and over. Finally, I lost it. I couldn't take it anymore. Who knows, maybe it was 112 outside. So I kicked him, under the table. He kicked me back, and one thing led to another, and the next thing you knew, he was choking me. We were both standing up, his fingers were digging welts into my neck, and he was shaking my head back and forth as he choked me. My head went so far back, so fast, that it knocked the blender right out of the base, and it bounced off of the counter, and shattered onto the floor. Luckily, that broke up the fight. Immediately, the fight turned into who was going to pay for the blender. "YOU BROKE IT, YOU PAY!" we both screamed. Neva was crying, and the welts were rising on my neck. We cleaned up the broken blender, I cleaned up my neck, and we waited. Waited for my mom. Guess what she said. "You're not supposed to fight. You were both fighting, you both pay." We both paid. The injustice of it all....he should have paid for choking me. (Of course, being raised that way, my mind goes directly to the injustice of Peter being the one to blame, when there were 3 kids playing ball in the house that day...)

I Think the Sun Is Trying to Kill Us

2006-07-23T10:30:00.000-07:00

According to my local paper, the high yesterday was 111 F. Ugh. It was so stinking hot. Maya went to her best friend's house to play, and Ted and I decided to go see a movie...the A/C had conked out at the theater, so it was kind of like an oven in there. We bailed. But when it's 111 degrees out, you don't want to do a lot outside, so we drove to Berkeley (where it was a frigid 92 degrees...), and found our movie there. We saw "A Scanner Darkly", which was a pretty serious cautionary tale about drug use. I liked it, but I kind of think that the mind of Phillip K. Dick is not to be entered lightly.

Then we came home, and I made Gina's balsamic chicken, which was a big hit. Thanks, Gina!

Now it's Sunday morning. I went to the Farmers' Market and the grocery store, and the bank thermometer told me it was 93 F at about 9:30. Ugh. I'm thinking this will be a day of reading books, watching TV (Brady Bunch Weekend on TV Land!), and perhaps even another movie. I sure hope the power doesn't go out and deprive us of our A/C. It flickered last night, and I almost keeled over from fright. It was still 85 degrees last night at midnight. I'm dreading our PG&E bill next month. Sigh.

UPDATE
It's almost 5:00PM, and the weather channel says it's 112 outside. I wouldn't know, because, thankfully, I'm inside, with the a/c. My heart goes out to those without homes at times like these...or to those with homes, but no way to cool them and who live in dangerous neighborhoods where they can't leave the windows open to catch a breeze...not that there IS a breeze right now...it's pretty still out there...but we're hoping. Supposed to be 98 tomorrow, which is still too hot for me, but MUCH better than 112.

Guest Blogging!

2006-07-22T06:29:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone, Py Korry (aka, Ted) has invited me to make a mix of six songs on his site! I pick the songs, according to his rules, then he mixes them and puts them online for your enjoyment. Check it out, and let us know what you think. Weekend fun!

Brentwood Corn

2006-07-21T06:34:00.000-07:00

There are two Brentwoods in California....the Brentwood down near Hollywood, where the rich and famous reside, and the Brentwood in the 'Far East Bay' or the 'far western San Joaquin Valley', whichever sounds better to you. ;) Our local Brentwood is known for the quality of their corn. When you go to the grocery stores or farmers' market, the signs proudly proclaim, "Brentwood Corn", and you know you're getting the good stuff. Well, we went to Brentwood the other night for dinner. Ted's mom had heard good things about Cap's Oak Street Bar & Grill, so we all piled in the car and took her there for her birthday dinner. All I have to say is, I think the people in the 'far east bay' are starving for nice restaurants, because this place was so-so in my book. The ambiance was very nice, white tablecloths, waiters making bananas foster tableside, that kind of thing. The menu had a nice variety of fish and meat and pasta. But scratch the surface, and what do you get? A waitress who took care of all of her other tables, but not so much ours. Could that be the brown people in our party? Or maybe the fact that there were 8 of us, while the other tables were mostly couples or '4 tops'? I've worked in the restaurant industry, and I know some wait staff are guilty of ignoring the bigger tables, or at least putting them off until after they take care of the smaller ones, because the big tables take longer, and the smaller tables can get impatient. Besides, with her tip already figured into the bill, she had nothing to lose, right? So, the food was OK, the service sub-par, the atmosphere nice. But the nail in the coffin, what would keep us from ever returning to Cap's? In a world of plenty, in the Corn Fest mecca of Northern California, this was actually served to me. Made it onto my plate (lazy cook) and all the way to the table (lazy waitress). And into my purse, as Ted said, "FOR THE BLOG!"

Friday Cat Blogging

2006-07-21T06:32:00.000-07:00

This is Acidophilus, Ted's cat. But this is pretty much the only view we ever got of her, because she was a feral cat. Ted, for those of you who don't know us personally, is VERY allergic to cats. VERY. His eyes puff up like a boxer who has been hit in the face 3 too many times, his throat constricts, and asthma kicks in. And that's from being in a room where a cat has been. I've never seen him actually have to deal with a real live cat. So, back when he lived on Fell St. in San Francisco, he lived on the 2nd (or was it 3rd?) floor of an older apartment building. In the little area behind the building (I would hesitate to call it a 'yard', though it was bigger than our yard now) lived a sweet little cat, whom Ted would sometimes feed. He would do this by throwing cans of either tuna or catfood down to her. She loved Ted. She would see his head come out the window, and come running. Unfortunately, so did the other cats in the neighborhood, so after awhile he had to stop feeding her because of cat fights. Ooops. How do we know Acidopholous was a girl? Well, she had kittens, who we named Lactobacillus and Tabby. They were very cute.

And, by the way, Acidophilus was only friendly from way up. If a person got close to her, her feral instincts kicked in full gear, and she would snarl and hiss at you. Probably why she was able to stay healthy enough to bear kittens.

Thirteen Grammar Pet Peeves

2006-07-20T06:53:00.000-07:00

Here is where I make everyone think I'm a big grammar snob. I don't THINK I am, but maybe I'm wrong. I'm a horrible speller (though I promise to TRY to run spell check before publishing my posts from now on!), and I do not claim to have perfect grammar. I loves me a split infinitive from time to time, but it drives me crazy to read (or hear) certain mistakes over and over again. It's careless, and I think people should take a little bit of care when they're trying to communicate. Otherwise it distracts them from your meaning, and you're not communicating well. Here are the ones that bug me the most.

1. I've already mentioned this one, but it bears repeating. 'Loose' vs. 'Lose'. You 'lose' your keys, you 'loose'...nothing. It's not a verb. At least, not usually. Perhaps you 'loose the dogs of war'...But I digress, because when I read this, usually the person is writing that someone is a 'looser'.

2. 'Was' vs. 'Were'. "I wish I was rich." This isn't technically wrong, I don't think, but it SOUNDS wrong. I think it's more a formal/casual thing these days. The more formal, and more educated sounding version, is "I wish I were rich." If you're not sure, remember Pink Floyd's amazing, "Wish You Were Here." ;)

3. 'Me and her.' Or 'her and me.' Or 'She and I' used incorrectly. This is like fingernails on a chalkboard. I HATE IT. So, how to know which pronoun to use? Omit the other person from the sentence. Would you say "her went to the store?" Maybe you would, but you really shouldn't. You should say, "She went to the store." So you would say, "She and I went to the store". I hope that "She and me went to the store" just sounds horrid to everyone, and we don't have to go into why that's wrong. As to 'She and I' used incorrectly, the rule is the same. Just make the sentence singular, and you'll know what pronoun to use. So if you would say, "He took me to the store", then you would say, "He took Maya and me to the store", or, more easily, "He took us to the store." ;)

4. It's/Its. I'm guilty of this one, but it's just a lazy habit, and my finger doesn't know what it's doing. And if I find it, I am not too lazy to go back and fix it, because it bugs me. 'It's' is the contraction for 'It is'. 'Its' is the possessive for it, and doesn't need an apostrophe any more than 'hers' or 'his' does. I had a professor once who said if we ever used 'it's' when we meant 'its' in a paper, we would get an 'F' on that paper. Not a mark down, an 'F'. Ever since then, I've been pretty aware of it. Still, it's the mistake I see the most often on my own blog, which is horrifying. Luckily, my old professor has no power over me now.

5. There/They're/Their. Obviously, this is another one that doesn't bug you when it's spoken, because you can't HEAR the difference, but when someone writes "There going to the store," or "We went to they're house," it bugs me.

6. Along the same lines as #5 are: your/you're; to/two/too; past/passed (I see this one a lot!); and weather/whether. Spell check won't catch these. I suspect that people know the difference, but are too careless to pay attention.

7. 'Literally' when you don't mean literally. Don't say, "There were literally monkeys flying out my ass", unless some actual monkeys came flying out of your ass. And if they did, um, I think we need pictures.

8. 'Unbelievable' when I can believe it. Don't say, "The plumber knows an unbelievable amount about pipes." Believe me, I can imagine that he knows a lot. It's his job. Using this same logic, 'Awesome' should bug me, unless it is used to describe something that is truly awe inspiring, like the Grand Canyon or the stars at night. It doesn't bug me though. I'm perfectly willing to tell you it's awesome that you went to a concert last night, or got that raise you've earned.

9. Well/Good. Well is an adjective, and Good is an adverb. So if you're saying "I'm good," you mean, "I'm good at something" (Damn I'm good!), or "I'm behaving" (I'm a good girl), but if someone asks, "How are you," the correct reply is, "I'm well, thank you." Unless you're sick, of course. But they probably don't care, and were only asking to be polite anyway.

10. Here/Hear. Ugh. Can't tell you how often I see this one, and it's just wrong. 'Hear' is something you do with your ears. 'Here' is where you will find me. Unless I'm there.

11. Misplaced apostrophes. I hate to see a plural treated like a possessive. I wonder if they find it insulting? ;)
12. "I could care less." Do you really mean this? Could you care less than you already do? Because really, I couldn't care less. The sad thing is that "could care less" has become the norm, and is listed as acceptable in the dictionary. Stupid dictionary.

13. Perhaps I'm wrong on this one, because I see/hear it so darned often. "Nobody has deals like these." Shouldn't that be, "Nobody else has deals like these"? Because if it's nobody, then, um, you don't have deals like these, either.

How about you? Any grammar pet peeves, other than people who get all high and mighty about grammar? ;)

Why do IDIOTS get away with crap?

2006-07-19T06:38:00.000-07:00

(Click the image to make it larger, so you can read it.) Remember the plum tree that keeps me awake? Well, two corrections...as someone pointed out, it's the fence making the noise, not the tree...and it's actually a cherry tree. Not like the kind you go pick cherries from in an orchard, but the kind that drops cherries all over the sidewalk and they make a mess and you step on them and track the juice in on your carpet. Yeah, that kind of tree. Anyway, we're tree hugging liberals, and we certainly don't want the tree cut down...just pruned a bit, so it doesn't knock down our fence.

We live in a condo complex, and Ted is the president of the board of directors for the homeowners. So he called our property management guy to have him call the owners of the tree (another complex, with which we share a fence) and have them prune the noisy, messy thing. The other morning, I was walking Genevieve, and the property manager was here, looking at the tree...and he said for all of the pain it is to get this company to pay to have their tree pruned, it would be easier if we just pay to have it done ourselves. The last time we had to have them do something, it had to trickle up through management and so on, and it took over a month. So, because they micromanage their properties and don't give them the freedom to make little decisions like this, our homeowners get to pay for it. Nice, huh?

Well, this isn't really a BIG deal, but it reminded me of one of the owners in our complex. There was a big war a couple of years ago, because he was doing unapproved work on his yard, having fences moved, blah blah blah. He was such a pain in the ass, that it caused everyone on the board a LOT of stress. Well, guess what? He's thinking of moving, and I suspect he'll be doing some more unapproved work in the near future. And my first instinct? Let him do it, just because he's such a pain in the ass and I don't like to see Ted having to deal with that crap.

I once heard that some insurance companies will deny a claim the first two times they come through...sometimes three times...and if you persevere, they will then pay them. But how many people give up after the first or second try? Why would it even occur to them to keep fighting?

Then of course, there are people like Wally in the comic above, who just work as hard as they have to in order to make sure that they don't have to work. Exhausting.

So, where is the benefit in being a decent person? Where is the economic benefit to fulfilling your obligations in an expedient, courteous manner? I haven't seen one. Seems like the bad guys get away with crap, because we're all too tired and worn out to have to deal with them. Makes me mad.

Happy Birthday

2006-07-18T08:54:00.000-07:00

To Vin (Ted's uncle), who thinks blogs are stupid, so he won't be reading this. I hope he has a happy birthday, anyway. :)

To Pat, my ex-CEO, a guy who defines aging well for me. He rides his bike to the farmers' market on Sundays. Twice if he needs to load up on heirloom tomatoes. He's got a gorgeous significant other, and she's not 40 years younger than he is. He defines a 'superstar husband' as one who realizes the value of wife and kids, and does his share in the care of children and home. He wanted to learn more about Civil Rights in the south, so he went down there and became great friends with some of the movers and shakers of the movement. He wanted to drive a trolly, so he got a job driving a trolly. He's got family in PA, MA, UK, and an apartment in Paris. He makes a mean pesto sauce, and will do so for you if you ask nicely. He knows the meaning of 'good champagne', and likes to share that as well. He has a kind heart, which to me is apparant in all of these other things, and is the number one reason I am glad to have his friendship.

To Ma (my mother-in-law...tomorrow, not today), a woman whom I am proud to count as a member of my family. She raised 4 wonderful children, and worked very hard to make a good life for them. After her heart attack back in '89, she turned her life around, giving up most meat (she misses lamb curry, and I don't blame her) (she still eats fish sometimes), exercising, and taking up Yoga because it is supposed to help heart patients. She liked it. Next thing you know, she was subbing when the instructor was on vacation. Now she teaches 4 or 5 classes of her own, and is very dedicated, working toward her certification. She has taught special yoga classes to help people with M.S. I'm very proud of her dedication and achievements in all aspects of her life, and especially, like Pat (and Vin, though he won't read this) of her kind heart.

(And Ma, you're not last on the list because you're last in my heart, but because your birthday is tomorrow, and Vin and Pat's are today.)

Father Bob

2006-07-18T06:35:00.000-07:00

The other day, I mentioned a poem by ee cummings, that was introduced to me by a teacher of mine, and I said I would tell you a bit about him someday. Well, today is the day. That teacher's name was Bob Hanlon, and he was my Latin teacher, as well as my Composition in Literature teacher in High School.

My first day of 9th grade, when I first saw him, all I could think was of the Beatles' line, "I am the Walrus", because he was kind of pale, kind of roudish, and had this big, walrus-like mustache. But the more I got to know him, the more I understood that this was a great man. I don't know about the rest of you, if your whole high school is/was full of idiot teachers, or mediocre teachers, or both; I certainly had my share of both of those categories. But I also had teachers who made me want to open my mind and my heart, to make the world a better place, and to be a better person, for myself, for my children, for the world. Mr. Ponder, Mr. Cornett, Mr. Cohen, Mr. McKeever and Mr. Hanlon were just such people. The first three were math teachers, and since my skills in math went from top of the class in 8th grade to barely keeping up in the advanced classes in 9th grade, but still not willing to take the easier classes, these teachers really made me feel ok about my decisions, and made me feel like even a C in their classes was pretty darned good. Mr. McKeever was amazing. I had Biology with him, and one semester, I was lazy and involved with friends and my after-school job, and I was barely pulling a B in his class. He noticed, noticed me and knew I was smart. This was not a small high school, so for a teacher to notice really meant something. He pulled me aside one day, and asked me to please get an A the next semester. Not that he would give it to me, he wanted me to earn it. And you know what? That's all it took. I worked my butt off for him, and I earned that A. Sometimes it's amazing to me how little it takes to really encourage a student, (or devastate them, sadly) and I wish that our teachers were able to do that for all of them.

Mr. Hanlon was in this same class of teacher. The kind to make you try your best, just to make him happy. I have never excelled in languages. I never did well in Latin, or in French (I got an F one semester in college French, much to my chagrin) and his Latin class really made me struggle. I don't know why I kept going back (I took 2 more years of Latin for my Master's...what was I thinking?). But part of the reason was that I never felt dumb in his class. I always felt like he respected me and honored me for who I was.

Mr. Hanlon's back story is that he was a Catholic Priest, and he fell in love. He couldn't marry in the church, so he got out and married his beloved wife. They lost an amazing, compassionate, wonderful man that day. Losing Mr. Hanlon, in my book, would be enough to make the church rethink that stupid policy.

In Comp Lit (which is what we called Composition in Literature, as opposed to Comparative Literature, which was my Master's Degree), he just helped me to become ME. In his watchful, gentle care, I felt like I was blooming. I talked to other students, and they felt the same way. We read "The Dead", by James Joyce. We read King Lear. We read so many amazing books, stories, and plays. And there he was, this gentle, amazing walrus of a man, who could encourage you, a powerless little high school student, to THINK. To rail against the dark forces in the universe. To fight for good, against evil in all of its forms. His class was a balm for the perhaps more practical English classes, where we would continuously prep for the SAT, learning antonyms and so on. His class made you think, made you feel. And Mr. Hanlon? He could make you feel good about yourself. That's no mean feat when dealing with teens. He was an amazing man, an amazing teacher. He was just what so many teenagers need.

And, I am heartbroken to say, 'was' is the correct tense. He and his wife had a farm, and on that farm they had cows. They also had irrigation, which calls for irrigation ditches. One morning, before coming to school, he found a calf down in an irrigation ditch. It was obvious that the calf was in trouble, and he climbed down to help it. Both he and the calf drowned to death that morning. Outside of family deaths, I'm not sure anyone has died and left me more grief stricken than I was when I found out about that loss. The world, the universe, lost an ally that day.

You all probably know that I'm an atheist, that God doesn't really hold any great charms for me. A few years ago, I went to the retirement party for Mr. Cohen, one of my amazing math teachers, and I was talking to another of my teachers, Mr. Cornett. (That day, I felt like my memories from HS were not crazy...that it had indeed been an amazing, safe, nurturing, wonderful place, and really, because of these few men. If Maya gets one teacher so wonderful at that age in her life, I will be thankful.) Mr. Cornett and Mr. Hanlon were good friends, great friends. I never knew this in HS, and that doesn't really surprise me, seeing how self centered most HS students are, it didn't really occur to me that they had friends and families. Anyway, Mr. Cornett was telling me how much Mr. Hanlon and his wife loved dragonflies....loved to see them fly about in the afternoon sun, felt somehow closer to each other when there were dragonflies about. Mr. Cornett (Glen, he would ask me to call him...but it's hard after all this time) told me that at Mr. Hanlon's funeral, a ring of dragonflies came and buzzed lazily about Mrs. Hanlon's head, like a crown, like a halo...and he never felt closer to God or to an afterlife as at that precise moment. It's moments like that that give me hope, that at least for a bit, maybe our souls can hang on and watch over those we love.

Our Weekend So Far

2006-07-16T10:26:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been busy so far. Friday evening we went to a potluck hosted by some friends from Maya's school. One nice thing to come out of that was that the only other girl there for Maya to play with was E, a girl who she doesn't really get along with at school or in scouts. They had a nice time, and I'm hoping that opened her eyes a bit to the possibility that this girl might be OK. Not that they will necessarily hang out at school or scouts, but that maybe when they're the only people around, they can get along then. There are dynamics involved when they're with certain other girls that may (or may not, who knows) prevent them from really getting along. Anyway, that was Friday.

Saturday, Ted had to go to a remote at a housing development in Brentwood, where they tried to seduce him with square footage, convincing him that we need to move out to the exurbs (is that what they're called?) so we can have a great big house. I'm not so sure. Ted says if I saw the house, I might be. Hmmm.

Meanwhile, I had a lovely lunch and shopping date with Dot, which was her belated birthday gift from me. (Not the shopping, just the lunch.) It was very nice to hang out, just the two of us. That's how friends are...sometimes you enjoy getting together with everyone, sometimes it's fun to have some one on one. Dot and I haven't had that in awhile.

While Ted was being seduced, and I was lunching, Maya was at a birthday party. Her friend Dominique turned 10, and for her party, they went to the Paris Beauty College, where they did all of the girls up with fancy hair. They had a great time. Maya's hair was lovely and very long curls...she's still in bed, so I'm not sure how those curls survived the night. Here's Maya and her best friend, Jackie, showing off their coifs. :)

Then, as if all of that weren't enough, we had a birthday party at our house for Ted's mom and uncle, whose birthdays are 1 day (and 15 years, I think) apart. Ted was the chef for the evening, and he made food from Giada. Boy, it was YUMMY. My personal favorite was the Tilapia. He also made Lamb (the recipe is for beef, but there are a couple of non-beef Hindu types hanging around, so he substituted lamb), and a zucchini dish. YUM. One nice thing about the party is that we had to clean house ahead of time, so now our house is nice and clean. :) The other nice thing is that we bought too much Tilapia, and Ted didn't cook it all, so we have dinner all planned already for tonight. Yay! It was very yummy, so that will be nice. We also have some of the sauce for the lamb left, so I'm thinking we'll have that on Monday. Then I want Gina's chicken one day this week, too.

It's hot today, maybe gonna get up to 100. I think I've missed the boat for going to the farmer's market, since it will be out in the sun, and I still haven't showered or walked the dog. Maybe next week. I wonder if they have any heirloom tomatoes this early in the season, and I'm missing them?

Hope your weekend is turning out well. We're thinking breakfast at Denny's, ironing, relaxing, not sure what else. Nice.

Saturday Poetry

2006-07-15T08:19:00.000-07:00

OK, after the last three days of serious, personal family stuff, mostly written by someone else, I've decided to lighten things up a bit, and bring you a poem today, also written by someone else. Who knows, maybe this will become a Saturday tradition, a poem that I love but did not write.

no man,if men are gods;but if gods must
be men,the sometimes only man is this
(most common,for each anguish is his grief;
and,for his joy is more than joy,most rare)

a fiend;if fiends speak truth;if angels burn

by their own generous completely light,
an angel;or(as various worlds he'll spurn
rather than fail immersurable fate)
coward,clown,traitor, idiot,dreamer,beast-

such was a poet and shall be and is

-who'll solve the depths of horror to defend
a sunbeam's architecture with his life:
and carve immortal jungles of despair
to hold a mountain's heartbeat in his hand

e e cummings

Someday I'll tell you about the amazing man who introduced me to this poem...my High School Latin/Composition teacher, Bob Hanlon.

Tuesday Cooking

2006-07-11T07:55:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a longer post, which I had intended for today, but you will all just have to wait for it until tomorrow. It's about how I came to meeet my dad at the age of 21. That's your teaser.

For today, you get this yummy recipe, which I made for dinner last night. It was SO Yummy. Comes from Sunset magazine, 2003.

Spaghetti with Roasted Tomatoes and Toasted Crumbs
Ingredients:
2 cups cherry tomatoes, rinsed and halved
Salt and pepper
2 tblsp extra virgin olive oil
1 clove garlic
2 tblsp finely chopped parsley
6 oz. dried spaghetti
2 slices sourdough bread, torn into pieces
2 tblsp chopped fresh basil leaves
Grated parmesan cheese

1. Place tomato halves, cut side up, in a 9 by 13-inch baking pan. Sprinkle lightly with salt and pepper. In a small bowl, stir together 2 tsp of the oil and the garlic and parsley; pat mixture evenly over cut sides of tomatoes, then drizzle with 2 more teaspoons of the oil. Bake in a 425 degree oven until tops of tomatoes are lightly browned (about 20 minutes).

2. Meanwhile, cook pasta according to package directions.

3. In a food processor or blender, whirl bread to coarse crumbs. Spread crumbs in an 8-inch baking pan and drizzle with remaining 2 tsp oil; stir well to coat completely. Place in oven alongside tomatoes and bake until crisp and golden brown, about 8 minutes. Let cool.

4. Drain pasta well and return to pan. Add tomatoes, half the bread crumbs, and the basil. Mix gently with two forks, seasoning with salt and pepper. Divide spaghetti between two warm dinner plates and sprinkle with remaining bread crumbs. Offer cheese to add to taste.

I wish I could say the picture was mine, but it's the one from the magazine. I doubled the recipe, and it was very yummy. :) Enjoy!

Just read this and I realized I said Yummy 3 times in this post. I don't care. It was THAT yummy.

Russian Cooking Class

2006-07-10T06:39:00.000-07:00

The main fundraiser at Maya's school is a Spring Festival, which combines with a live auction, and raises much needed funds to keep the school doors open. The big ticket items tend to be the quilts, which are made from squares made by the students and sewn by dedicated parents, trunks made by woodworking parents, and excursions put together by the teachers. One of Maya's teachers, Zhanna, is Russian. She emigrated from the Ukraine about 10 years ago. Her offering for the auction was a day of cooking, where the parents and kids would learn to make traditional Russian food, enjoy the pool at her condo's clubhouse, and all around have fun. The day was planned, and finally, Saturday, arrived. Unfortunately the Air Conditioning wasn't working, but Zhanna's handy husband went home and got a fan, which brought some relief to the 95 degrees day, which was especially needed because we were baking. We made a LOT of food, much too much for the number of people who were there. I don't remember the names for most of it. There was Struedel, made from her mother's recipe, which was filled with dried fruits, jam, nuts, and smashed up cookies. There was a cold soup, which was delicious, and quite a relief in the heat. There was beef stroganoff (served over mashed potatoes, NOT noodles), beet salad with sour cream and prunes, herring butter, pickled tomatoes, pickled mushrooms, roasted peppers, piroski, and I don't know what else. It was quite a feast, and quite a fun day. Worth every penny. ;)

Failure to Thrive

2006-07-10T06:30:00.000-07:00

Any parents out there know what this term means...when you have a newborn, and they're not doing so well. Well, no newborns around here, but what with the weather being 103 yesterday and me getting all grumpy because I was hungry (just for dinner, it's not like I even missed a meal, for goodness sake) and then I had a hard time sleeping last night because, though the fog came in and brought much needed relief from the heat, it also brought a wind that pushes the plum tree next door against the fence, causing a creaking noise ALL FRIGGIN NIGHT LONG. I'm just saying, it was hard to sleep. Stupid thing is still creaking right outside my window, sounding like it's about to burst. I hate it. Authorities have been called, and the tree will soon lose a branch, but waiting for it is 'working my last nerve', as they used to say in Philly. ;)

I'm not thriving so much as I would like right about now. Stupid tree.

I did dream that I was going to take care of Brad and Angelina's baby for them, once she got old enough. Maybe because my sister is due to give birth at any minute? (Today is her due date, induction set for Wednesday if she doesn't have her sooner!) I don't know. :)

I Need A Chauffer

2006-07-08T10:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I walked everywhere, and boy, these dogs are barking. I started with a walk to Noah's for breakfast, which is just about a mile and a quarter each way. Not too far, but my shoe selection was based more on heat than comfort. In other words, I was wearing sandals. Next, we had to go to the old work office to move what little bit of stuff there still remains into a storage space. The office is in a business park, and the storage space is actually a small office two parking lots over in that same office park. Yesterday was also one of my coworker's last day, so after the move, we were going to go play pool and have a drink. After that, I was going to go meet up with Ted and Maya, plus Cherry, Eric, Liz, Ben, and Liz's sister, at the Alameda County Fair. Well, I wanted to look cute for all of this, right? (not the moving, but the drinks and getting together with friends) Stupidly, the answer is, yes, of course. So I changed from my comfy(ish) sandals to cuter, less comfy sandals. We must have walked across those dang parking lots with crap to move 100 times (I'm exaggerating, but it was starting to feel that way). It was about 95 degrees yesterday, which only added to the fun. By the time I got to the fair, I was seriously regretting my shoe choice. The fair, by the way, was GREAT. I don't think I've ever been to a county fair before...certainly not one as big as this one. We saw cows and pigs and goats and lambs, one pretty horse, prize winning jams and jellies and cakes and pies, amazing woodworking done by high school aged students. We saw people get hypnotized and act like idiots. We saw Ted announce Smash Mouth on stage. (YAY! That was VERY cool!) We talked to a prize winning goat raising 4-H teen, who was so enthusiastic and knowledgable, it was great. :) Maya and Jackie took Ted's cell phone, and went on rides without any parental supervision except the occasional phone call, for about 6 hours. A great day was had by all. I couldn't find any deep fried snickers bars to taste, but that was probably for the best anyway. At the end of the day, however, I couldn't find my car. I told Cherry and Eric that my car was in the red parking lot, and it wasn't, it was in the green parking lot, so we ended the day off with a LONG walk, probably over a mile, in very tired feet and uncomfortable (but cute!) sandals. Thanks Cherry and Eric, for being willing to hoof it all over the place to make sure I got back to my car safely! By the time I got home, my dogs were seriously barking....I could hardly walk from the car to the house. That is why, seriously, I think I need to pay someone to drive me around. Or at the very least, to hit me in the head when I try to make such stupid shoe decisions in the future.

Props to Safeway

2006-07-08T09:30:00.000-07:00

I stopped at Safeway on Thursday evening, and when I got back to my car, there was a woman filling the trunk of the car next to me with fruit and veggies. Corn, watermelon, strawberries, and so on. She didn't have any bags, she was taking the items out of a big box and putting them into her trunk. I asked her if she had bought all of this at Safeway, wondering if she was against bagging her groceries for some reason, or if she were planning a huge party, since there was so much food. No, she said, Safeway donates the food to the Lindsay Wildlife Museum. Color me impressed! I have seen people from the food bank picking up bread and other items that are day old and so on, but I didn't know that they supported the animals as well. Good for them! (They also knew how to distract toddler Maya way back when, with a balloon and a cookie, which helped us get through the store quite easily. The woman who used to give her the cookie, Karen, still works at out local Safeway, and loves to see Maya and talk to her. :) )

Rue Lepic

2006-07-07T05:23:00.000-07:00

As you all surely know by now, what with the duo Anniversary Posts and all, Monday was our 13th Wedding Anniversary. We had some different ideas as to what to do to celebrate...we thought of going to Napa, or to a play, etc. We finally settled on taking Maya with us, and going into the city to one of our favorite restaurants, Rue Lepic. We haven't been there in perhaps 12 years or so, but nothing has changed. I don't know if you would consider that a good thing or a bad thing, but we considered it a good thing.

The story as I remember it is that the chef, who is Japanese (I thought Viet Namese, but her name, Michiko Boccara, proved me wrong) learned to cook wonderful, tradional french food from her chef husband. They got a divorce, and she opened a restaurant. I don't know if this story is true, but I'll keep passing it on in a gossipy way, just for fun. The restaurant is sucessful in that it has been open for quite a few years now, and does a good business. It is a tiny restaurant, with perhaps 12 or 13 small tables, total. The same waiter and chef have been there every time we have gone, and since they're open 7 nights a week, that leads me to wonder if they ever take a day off.

We started with a very yummy cream of vegetable soup, which included asparagus, leeks, and potatoes. It was flavorful and delicious. Next, Ted and Maya had Caesar salad, and I had smoked salmon. Both were top notch, very yummy. Then we moved on to the main course...Ted had Rack of Lamb, and I had Duck A L'orange. Both were very, very tasty. If you're a fish eating vegitarian, they also had salmon and halibut on the menu, but I didn't see anything there for a serious vegi-type person. Maya just ate some of Ted's lamb, and some of my duck. She liked them both.

Dessert was creme brulee for Ted and myself, and was very, very good. Maya had chocolate mousse, which she enjoyed, but what she really loved was the sauce that it came with. I believe it was a créme anglaise. The waiter noticed, and brought her more sauce. Thanks, Vincent!

I didn't have a peek at the wine list, but Ted said the prices seemed very reasonable. The waiter steered us toward a truly lovely, mid priced bottle of French red wine to accompany our lamb and duck, but sadly, I don't have any idea what vinyard it was from. Overall, a wonderful meal in a tiny neighborhood restaurant. Highly recommended.

Our Summer So Far...

2006-07-06T06:40:00.000-07:00

When planning our summer, with me working from home and Maya home as well, one concern that I had was too much TV/Video games. If we lived in a neighborhood full of kids, this wouldn't be an issue, because she would be out playing with them enough of the time to counter-balance the time spent on XBox or Disney Channel. But we don't. The other kids in our neighborhood are in summer day camps and their parents are at work. If I were a stay at home mom, I could keep her occupied for much of the day - we could go on day trips to the zoo, the park, the ocean, whatever. But I work, so while my schedule is pretty flexible, I can't go on day trips without taking vacation time.

So, on your average day, Maya sleeps in while I work. We walk the dog, have brunch, and I work some more. She watches TV or plays XBox while I work. During the schoolyear, the limit is 1 hour a day, but for summer, it's 2 hours a day. So, what else does she do? Yesterday, we made popsicles out of yogurt and fruit juice, she wrote a letter to one of her favorite magazines, she drew pictures, she played music on her zither, and she read her current book, The Witch of Blackbird Pond. I know that if she were allowed unlimited TV/DVD/XBox/Nintendo/Tamaguchi time, the temptations would be too great. (I know, she has a LOT of electronic distractions...that's where the belief that her own money is hers to spend crashes up against my repulsion for SO MANY plug ins.) But really, to be sitting quietly downstairs, reading my book, and hearing her play music upstairs? That's priceless to me.

Here's the recipe for the popsicles, from the Williams Sonoma Kids Cookbook:

Frozen Fruit and Yogurt Pops
Ingredients
1 cup strawberry yogurt
1 cup orange juice
1 1/2 cups raspberry juice

Set popsicle molds on work surface. Spoon an equal amount of yogurt into each mold, covering the bottom 1/3 of the mold. Cover the molds. Insert a popsicle stick into each mold. Freeze for 40 minutes.

Remove molds from freezer. Remove cover. Pour an equal amount of orange juice into each mold. Cover, return to freezer for 40 minutes.

Repeat this procedure with the raspberry juice. Freeze until solid, 4 hours or over night.

(We used either strawberry-mango or banana-cream yogurt, mango nectar, and strawberry banana juice. Our colors weren't as vibrant as the pictures in the cookbook, but I'm guessing the results were just as tasty!)

Oh, by the way, with all of the recipes flying around here lately, I have been remiss about introducing my sister-in-law (Ted's sister). She has started a blog, which is random ideas, but plenty about cooking...and she makes great cakes! So, if you're interested in learning about cake, or whatever else she might be thinking about, check out La Luna's World. Enjoy!

This Isn't Even Alaska...or Yosemite

2006-07-05T18:21:00.000-07:00

Here's your picture of the day. Click the picture to get the story. Moral of the story? Don't leave food in your car...a lesson I learned back in 1984, Yosemite, food in the station wagon, bear in the station wagon, food gone, windows broken, car moved a couple of feet, 4 very scared campers who had just graduated from High School (one of whom would be me...) Ack!

More Cooking Today...

2006-07-05T11:39:00.000-07:00

One of the comments I got on my anniversary post asked about a recipe for Roti, which is an Indian flatbread...very similar to Naan, though not exactly the same. Roti is better. ;) The Guyanese commenter, Shelliza, noted that when her mother tried to give her the recipe, it came out, "a handful, a pinch and this much", which is just how Ted and his mom make it as well. So I can't give you their recipe. However, my friend Cherry tried to find a recipe online, and she gave it a try. She said it was very yummy. I asked her for the recipe, and she said she melded it out of a couple of different recipes, and then she used what Ted had told her to make it work. She is going to make it again soon, and write it down. I'll either post it, or if she wants to put it on her blog, I'll link there. :)

In the meantime, here's a recipe I found online. I like it because it's in a Carribean 'Voice', and mentions the tawah.

Sadha Roti
4 cups sifted flour
4 tbsp shortening/margarine
2 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
water

What tuh do?
1. Mix flour, baking powder and salt in a large bowl
2. Add enough water to form a smooth soft dough
3. Mix-in pieces of shortening/margarine in to the dough
4. Add water and mix to a stiff dough
5. Cut dough into small pieces and roll into balls about the size of a small orange
6. Flour kneading area and roll out to adequate thickness
7. Bake on a moderately hot tawah (large skillet if you don't have one), turning regularly.

My notes: Ted says it makes a difference what kind of flour you use. Unbleached flour, and the fresher the better, makes the best roti. Also, in between steps 4 and 5, he rolls out the dough into one big rectangle, like a rectangular pie crust, and he brushes it with melted butter. Then he rolls it up in a tube, and cuts it like cinnimon rolls. He makes those into the balls mentioned in step 6. After turning the roti on the tawah, you brush it with melted butter. Flip once more, quickly, then as it puffs up and gets fluffy, you take it off of the tawah, and clap it between your hands to get the air out. Careful, the steam is HOT. Also, this is somewhat messy, so clap Roti over sink, man. ;)

I don't know if I'm explaining it well. Cherry will probably do a better job than I am.

I also have a yummy recipe for Guyanese Lamb Stew, which I have made myself, and isn't nearly as tricky as the Roti is.

Guyanese Lamb Stew
3 lbs lamb stew meat. With bones means more flavor, without means easier eating.
1 lemon
Vegetable oil for browning lamb
1 medium onion, minced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
3 tblsp brown sugar
3 tblsp vinegar
1 tsp chives
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp thyme
1 15oz can diced tomatoes, with juice
1 can chicken broth
hot sauce, to taste. If you want this truly authentic, try to get your hands on some West Indian Hot Pepper Sauce. Use sparingly, though, because it's HOT.

Squeeze lemon juice onto lamb. This takes away the 'gamey' flavor.
Brown the lamb in the oil over medium to medium high heat.
Add onions and garlic, cook for 5 minutes.

Add remaining ingredients, simmer for 1 - 1 1/2 hours or more.

When the meat is tender, thicken like you would a gravy, with flour or cornstarch.
Serve over rice, with some curried pumpkin as a side dish.

On a side note, Ted found this cookbook, and got it for his mom. It has recipes for things like Pepperpot and Yam Foo Foo. For his brother's birthday, everyone took one dish from the book and made it, for a true Guyanese feast. Fun!

ROTI UPDATE
Ted tells me that the Roti recipe up there is wrong wrong wrong, that Sadha Roti is one ting, and Paratha Roti is another ting. (Fake carribian accent mine, just having fun you know...) So, I looked for a recipe for Paratha Roti, and came up with this:

Roti background:Roti is a very popular dish in Trinidad & Tobago where there are shops selling roti with different curry fillings (meat fillings - curry beef, shrimp, chicken or goat & non-meat fillings - curry potatoes). There are also different types of roti such as Dhalpouri, Dosti, Bus-up-shut (Paratha) and Sada roti. Please be aware that these are Trinidad-East Indian dishes and are often quite different from East Indian dishes cooked in India.

Equipment: A suitable flat iron surface like a large frying pan, a griddle, or ideally, a flat iron plate called a 'tawah' or 'plateen'
A brush like a barbecue brush to apply the oil; some simply tie a few strips of cloth to the end of a wooden stick (called a 'puchara')

Paratha-Roti (Buss-Up-Shut)

Ingredients:
1 lb. flour (4 cups)
4 teaspoons. baking powder
1 teaspoon. salt
1 ½ oz. ghee/marg. or butter
1 3/4 cups water

Method:Sift flour, baking powder and salt. (J's note...Ted does this in the Cuisenart) Add enough water to form a smooth soft dough. Knead well and leave for ½ hour covered with a damp cloth. Knead for second time and divide into four balls (loyah). Flour board and roll out dough to size 8" or 9" as desired, then spread with ghee and sprinkle with flour. Cut dough from centre to edge, roll tightly into a cone shape, press peak of cone into centre and flatten. Leave again for 30 min. Sprinkle flour on board and roll out very thin with rolling pin. Bake on a moderately hot bake stone (tawah) coating dough with oil on both sides as it cooks. Turn on both sides and cook about ½ mins. each side. Remove from baking stone and hit with wooden pallette until flaky or wrap in clean cloth and mash up. Often called "Buss-up-Shot."

So there you go. Hope that helps. ;)